If you’re reading this post, it’s probably because you’re a brilliant author looking for a Seriously Pawsome book review team to read and review your latest magnum opus.
Great! You’ve come to the right place!
But there are some things you should know before requesting a review. That’s what’s this post is for. Here’s the 4-1-1:
That being said, kindly note that we accept less than half of the review requests that come our way. And please note our submission guidelines. You’d be surprised at how many people blow their review chances by not bothering to read our submission guidelines. Skip that step, Buttercup, and you’ve just increased the chances of a rejection by a factor of ten. Maybe more.
Cuz guess what? When it comes to our submission guidelines, we’re sticklers. And we always know who has and hasn’t read our submission guidelines. Always. So don’t even go there on the latter, okay?
At least it’s a happy Tuesday for some of us. Others who shall remain nameless are sulking (Hi, Mom!). Lemme explain.
Her Crankiness (hi again, Mom) is miff-ified at authors who waste her time by not adhering to and/or ignoring our submission guidelines or following through on their commitments when they request a review.
Case in point.
Awhile back Mom got a review request for a “historical fiction” book “because many people turn to independent reviewers for realistic recommendations on what to read. Considering the current social, economic, and political climate, not only are readers looking for something new and different, many are wondering about young America’s beginnings as a nation. A Healing Touch speaks to this interest.”
We enjoy historical fiction. So we decided to dive in. Only to find out that “historical fiction” is a mighty big stretch for this thing.
Isn’t it fun to toot someone else’s horn? I get to do that today! Cuz I’m braggin’ on Mom! (Do you think I’ll get some extra bacon outta this? Hmmm…)
Kimber, chicken bus driver wannabe.
You didn’t think Mom does book reviews just for this blog, did you? Naw! Mom loves books so much, she does reviews all over the place, including this outfit called Book Sirens.
If you hop on to Book Sirens, you’ll find us under PagesAndPaws. Looking all magnificent and everything. (At least one of us, anyway.)
‘Turnin’ tail’ for a bit…
Kimber here. Lemme explain. Cuz Mom is going a little crazy. Well. Crazier than usual. But it’s a good kind of crazy. The smiley kind, if ya know what I mean.
We love getting your book review requests. But we’re kinda drowning. As in, we just can’t keep up! That’s why we’re going to have to put a “paws” on new submissions for the time being.
If you’ve been reviewing books for anything length of time – say, 20 minutes or so – you know that not all “book review” sites are created equal. Some are professional. Others are a joke. Full of unresolved kinks, oopses, ouchies, and amateurs. So how do you tell the difference? What are the worst book review sites on the web?
Based on my experience and what I hear from other quality reviewers, two sites stand out (stand down?) as The Worst: the OnlineBookClub and Reedsy/Discovery.
Her Crankiness is at it again. That scrunchy face eye roll thing.
“Good grief!” Mom flounces. “Not again!” (“Flounces.” Isn’t that a great word? No idea what it means. But Mom likes it. So I do too.)
Now what? says I, Kimber the Magnificent. You know. The level-headed one. All even-keeled and imperturbable. (No idea what that means either. But it sounds good, huh? Can I eat it?)
Well. Gonna cut to the chase here. Save you some time. As in:
Can you hear us in the back?
Kimber here. Being all Beautiful and Brilliant. As usual. Her Grumpiness is also here today. Being all grumpy and geezerly. As usual. Seems today’s Grumpifying has to do with review requests. Cuz we’ve been getting a lot of stuff that’s straight out of Gag Me With Arugula. I guess we better clarify.
“Kimmi,” says The Big Grump. “We better clarify.”
Didn’t I just say that?
Well. If you’re wondering why your review request wound up in the Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky, listen up. It could be due to a metric meow’s worth of reasons. But if you want to increase your chances of getting your review request accepted (no promises and no guarantees), here’s what NOT to do. (Can you hear us in the back?)
You know it’s a lotta work doing a book thingy blog, right? Maybe not as much work as grilling up a nice, thick burger all juicy and sizzling and…
Wait. Where was I?
Oh yeah. Book blogging.
Well. Some intrepid soul recently asked why we do book blogging? After all, it’s a ton of work. For free. (“Intrepid.” Isn’t that a great word? No idea what it means. But Her Momness likes it. So I do, too.)
So, Mom and Me? We put face and fur together on that one to round up a response. You know. Something other than, “Chocolate!” (For one of us.) Or, “We’re World Class Bibliophiles and can’t help it!” But really. The main reason we run this blog comes down to one word:
Hello Friends!
Kimber the Magnificent here to tell you something you probably already know (if you don’t, you should):
MOM IS SERIOUSLY PAWSOME!!
She not only cooks a mean T-bone steak that’s all luscious, delicious and flavorful, mouth-watering and juicy and…
Wait. Where was I?
Oh yeah. Mom. Seriously PAWsome. As in, Bibliophile Extraordinaire and World Class Reader. Like this:
You read that right: Mom and I read 403 books in 2022. (Well, it was mostly me. But Mom chipped in. A little.)
It’s a New Personal Reading Record for most books in one year. And nope, we didn’t review every book. Cuz that’s just silly.
I’d let Mom tell ya more. ‘Cept she’s snoozing. For obvious reasons. I ‘spect she’ll wake up around spring. Or maybe later.
You gonna eat that? Askin’ for a friend.
What are your eating… I mean, reading goals for 2023?
Pages & Paws 