Okay, hoomans. Let’s be honest. That internet thingy is flooded with books. Some are what Mom calls “masterpieces.” (No idea what that means. But Mom likes it. So I do, too.) Some are… let’s call them “Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky” candidates. And some of the worst books we’ve read in the last six months are by indie authors. We’re talking cringeworthy. But we’ve also found some hidden gems by indie authors that we loved.

So. Speaking of “hidden gems” – sort of – The ‘Ole Curmudgeon and I thought now’s a good time to review what we review. (Kimber: It’s mostly my brilliant idea. TOC helped. A little.) Like this:

We read, review, and occasionally rant about books and book love. That includes well-written books by indie authors.

Here’s the deal:
We love indie authors. You are brave. You are fast. You think outside the litter box.

You don’t have to wait three years for a partridge in a pear tree and a publishing house to tell you that your story matters. But we’re not your mom, Sugar. Like, we don’t give five star ratings just cuz you sent us a polite DM. (Kimber: Altho extra bacon never hurts. What?)

What We Do:

• Real Reviews: If your plot twist makes us stand up and cheer or chuckle and snort root beer out our nose, we’ll say so. If your dialogue sounds like an AI trying to write poetry or serve up wilted arugula, we’ll say that, too.
• Honest Takes: We believe indie authors need real feedback to grow, not just toxic positivity from bots.
• Spotlight Hidden Gems: If we love your book, we will scream about it from the rooftops (or the dog house).

Indie Authors, Come and Get It:

So if you think your book can handle a thoughtful, blunt, woof-worthy review, lend us your ears. Oh, wait. Wrong reference. (Silly Mom!) If you think your book is well-written, coherent, and has something to say worth listening to, send us your ARC (preferrably hard copy after reading our Submission Guidelines). Examples:

• Clean romance with NO Alaska-sized plot-holes? Send it.
• Fantasy with better world-building than the actual world? We’re in!
• Historical fiction that stands up and walks? Yes, please.
• Faith-flavored fiction or inspiring memoir that’s better than a second bowl of cookies and cream ice cream? Let’s grab another spoon. (Wait. Better than ice cream??? Let’s not get crazy here, okay?)

Be sure to read our Submission Guidelines first. That’s key. Cuz we’re like, picky. And we accept maybe half of the review requests that come our way.

Also note: Likes, Comments and Link Sharing are required for any book getting a positive review (3 stars or more). Failure to do do within three days of posting may result in removal of the post.

Warning: We DNF (Did Not Finish) with reckless abandon if the pacing is slower than our WiFi. As in, you’ve got about three to five chapters to reel us in. If we’re not hooked by then, chances are we’ll jump ship.

Got that, Cupcake? Good.

How to Submit

If you think your magnum opus can make the cut, send your review request to: kikero@juno.com. Subject line: Review request.

Let’s make the indie world a little more interesting, one honest sentence at a time. And don’t forget bacon!

Stay noisy,
Mom and Kimber the Magnificent