Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie

Monthly Archives: August 2026


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12 Most Memorable Reads of Summer

‘I know they’re here somewhere. Hmmm…’

Woof! It’s your favorite literary canine here. Ready to chew on some most memorable summer reads. Well, okay. Not “summer,” strictly speaking. Roughly May thru August-ish. But let’s not get picky here, okay?

Anywho, whether you love stories with a strong pack mentality, thrilling chases, exotic settings or intriguing historical fiction, you can count on me, Kimber the Magnificent, for some barkworthy recs. Some of these titles are kind of obscure. Some we liked more than others. A couple surprised us. But all are memorable in their own write, right? By “memorable” we mean they linger after the final page. Roam around in your head for awhile. Kind of like extra crispy bacon…. What?

Anywho, we read close to 100 books this summer. I’ve dug up some of the most barkworthy. Let’s dig in!

Here, in no particular order, are some of our favorite/most memorable reads from “summer”:

  1. The Hidden Life of Otto Frank – Carol Ann Lee. Non-fiction.
  2. Beyond the High White Wall – Nancy Pitt. Historical Fiction.
  3. Saved By Her Enemy: An Iraqi Woman’s Journey From the Heart of War to the Heartland of America – Don Teague and Rafraf Barrak. Non-fiction.
  4. So You Want To Be a Veterinarian – Linda Soules. Children’s Non-fiction.
  5. Simple Genius – David Baldacci. Thriller/Suspense.
  6. Between Sisters – Kristin Hannah. Fiction.
  7. 13 Hours: The Inside Account of What Really Happened in Benghazi – Mitchell Zuckoff. Non-fiction.
  8. The Rum Runner: The Legend of Captain John Stewart – Doralynn Kennedy. Gothic mystery.
  9. Hearts of Fire: Eight Women in the Underground Church and Their Stories of Costly faith – The Voice of the Martyrs. Non-fiction.
  10. Corvus – Shallen Ann Chitwood. Middle grade fantasy.
  11. Redeeming Rhubarb – Bob Richley. YA/Fiction.
  12. The Help – Kathryn Stockett. – Historical Fiction.

Can’t wait to see what book awesomeness The Ole Curmudgeon will dig up this fall! You never know. Stay tuned!

P.S.: We’ll be updating The Naughty List soon. Aka: The Kitty Litter Hall of Shame. As in, Making a list. Checking it twice. Gonna find out which authors failed to adhere to our Submission Guidelines and have subsequently had our reviews of their books removed. Don’t think we don’t notice who does and does not Like, Share, and Comment on a positive review of 3.0 or more per our requirements. We do. And we keep a list. That you really don’t want to be on.

Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice...


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5 Tips for Writing a Literary Disaster

Kimber here. Ready to show you how to churn out an absolute literary disaster sure to tank like the Titanic. Cuz we’ve plowed through quite a few lately. And since The ‘Ole Curmudgeon and I like to be helpful, we thought we’d offer the ultimate, failsafe blueprint for writing a spectacularly unreadable book that’ll get you a one-way ticket to the Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky. In a heartbeat.

Pro tip: I’d listen up ‘fize you, bub. So you can save us both some time in the Requesting and Reviewing Departments.

Cuz writing an awful book isn’t just about throwing random capitalization and “meow” on a page. It takes true, unhinged dedication! So here’s your step-by-step guide to crafting a book so unreadable, it’s practically a work of art:

1. Dont “Poof” Reed Anything. Evur.

Those gkaring typose, punkuashun errors and grammur oopses that jumpp off the paje and smackk a revueer in the fase? Trust me, no one will notise.

2. Master the Monotone.

Never, ever use metaphors that make sense. Instead, describe everything in terms of odors and floor surfaces. Your narrator should obsessively track the “smelly metal box with the red circles” (a toaster) for four whole chapters. If a plot point gets too tense, derail it and obsess over a box of jelly-filled donuts left on the counter unattended.

3. Unleash the “Word Vomit” Vocabulary.

Why use one adjective when you can use twenty-six instead? Variation on a theme: Create a main character who sounds like a Shakespearean scholar in need of a nap. Additional variation: Constantly alternate between philosophical musings about the meaning of life and tomorrow’s trash pick-up. Keep the vocabulary aggressively basic, but throw in words like apricate and velleity that no one uses and no one cares about.

4. Toss Logic Out the Window.

If you really want to frustrate your reader/reviewer, toss all biological and logical reality out the window. Replace the laws of physics with a TikTok dance challenge on page 42. Write dialogue like you’re herding quantum particles through a salad bar. Unplug the GPS of the cosmos and start navigating by glitter. Or have your main character tackle a high adrenaline mountain, then break the tension by having him get confused by his own reflection for nine pages.

5. Over-Explain Everything.

Instead of showing your readers what’s going on in your story, tell them about it. And tell them. And tell them. And tell them some more. If that doesn’t work, keep telling until they drift off to Neverland.

Don’t forget to treat your readers like they’re a bunch of preschoolers who can’t figure out theme, motivation, or conflict without beating them over the head with it. For good measure, make sure you also tell them what to think and how to react instead of letting them decide for themselves. So feel free to paint over their imaginations and intelligence with your own brush.

Next, be sure to declare the protagonist’s intentions every three paragraphs. Just in case anyone forgot. Make the tone so deeply mawkish and maudlin it’s cringeworthy.

Does your manuscript hit all of the above? Great! Then send it in. But don’t be surprised if it capsizes our review boat. Or another box of kitty litter. And those author emails griping about a negative review? Want some cheese with that whine?

Are we clear here? Inquiring curmudgeons want to know.

Kimber the Magnificent. In the driver’s seat.


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A Throne, a Prophecy, and a Twist We Didn’t See Coming

The Promised Queen

By Matthew Toss (Christian Faith Publishing, 2026)

Genre: Fiction/Fantasy

Pages (print): 381

Via: Author request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

A young girl sets out with her faithful bud to fulfill a prophecy and become the…

Kimber: Oh, wait. One of us is getting a wee bit ahead of herself. (Insert eye roll here). Cuz. You know Mom. So, let’s back up a bit for a bird’s eye view of this highly readable and eminently engaging novel by Matthew Toss.

Ready? Set? Let’s go!

The 4-1-1:

Who is the real queen of Anam?

Young Liberty dreams of a ship. (Kimber: I’m seeing The Dawn Treader. What?) High-spirited and adventurous, Liberty is the polar opposite of her quiet, demure twin sister, Eslanda. The girls will turn thirteen during the annual Harvest Festival and choose an “apprenticeship.” Let’s just say Liberty isn’t exactly turning handsprings at the prospect.

Liberty’s best friend is Cayden. The two kiddos slip into the country of Anam a week before the Festival – an event that will crown Anam’s long-lost princess. But the Viceroy, who has managed the nation through the interregnum, sets a perilous scheme in motion. He dispatches a bounty hunter on a desperate, near-impossible mission to fracture the transition of power before it can begin.

“May the winds of fortune blow you, the depths below not know you, never a tavern throw you, and true love a lass to show you.”

As Liberty and Cayden travel deeper into Anam, they cross paths with vibrant, magnetic figures who leap off the page, each with their own secrets and stakes. Their journeys drive them toward a volatile, unprecedented reckoning – one no one is ready to face, and from which the nation may never return unchanged.

And what’s up with all the fires in Trapper’s Woods?

We like, Totally Love-ified this book. It moves like greased lightning, with characters that practically jump off the page and land in your lap.  The epic sweep of The Promised Queen reminds us of Middle Earth. There’s even a battle scene reminiscent of Minas Tirith. Along with plenty of action and a boatload (literally) of adventure, there’s also plenty of fantastical creatures like kelpies and nixies and hippocerfs, oh my! It’s a little Narnia. A little Neverland. A little The Once and Future King. (Or in this case, queen.) With a dash of The Great Divorce.

“The history of Anam is not always one of peacetime. Surely you have learned the terrible stories over the years of the wars against magical creatures, the reign of the western giants, and even the king who went mad.”

Characters

Besides Liberty and Cayden, main characters include Archbishop Langthorne, Lorcan, captain of the guard, and Doran the bounty hunter. Fiadh. Captain Fox. Cordanyth, Guardian of Ancient Wisdom.  Much more! All so lively and quick, we knew in a moment they must be… oh, wait. Wrong story. Where were we?

“I have never sensed a war that didn’t come, nor have I sensed a war whose outcome I did not see. Until today. The future is obscure, hidden behind a veil.”

Oh yeah again. This book is a delightful read. It grabbed us in chapter one and reeled us in like a fish on a line. Saturated with intrigue, mystery, and adventure, the plot unfolds like a kaleidoscope, each shift revealing a new facet of the story as you join our dynamic duo on the adventure of a lifetime. Additionally, the author’s world-building skills are top-notch. The language is as lilting and lyrical as bird song, each word a note in a tune that lingers in the air and makes you want to hear more. A triumph from the start, this exceptionally well-written debut novel restored our faith in indie authors. It made one of us want to stand up and cheer.

“These people are my family. I plan to fight for my family.”

Brimming with wit, wisdom, and whimsy, The Promised Queen is as satisfying as a warm slice of chocolate cake, fresh from the oven. Drenched in chocolate fudge sauce and a nice big dollop of vanilla ice cream. With a banana split chaser. Kimber: Don’t forget a perfectly cooked filet mignon with a side of crispy bacon the size of Alaska.

Mom: You eat what you want and I’ll eat what I want, okay?

Wait. Is that Camelot? Where once it never rained till after sundown….

Our Rating: 4.0


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Understanding Homer’s Epic Without the Homework Headache in ‘The Odyssey Decoded’

The Odyssey Decoded: A 70-Page Step by Step Guide to Understanding Homer’s Epic

By Adrian Solas

Genre: Entertainment

Pages (Print) 86

Via: Reedsy

Kimber: Okay, Mom. So this Odd Guy? The one who’s running around all over the Med trying to get home? What’s up with that?

Mom: It’s Odysseus, dear heart.

Kimber: Oh-whoz-ee-us?

Mom: Odysseus. You know. The guy in Homer’s The Odyssey.

Kimber: Who’s what-a-see?

Know that deer in the headlights look? That’s probably the response you’ll get if you ask most peeps what The Odyssey is about. A handful might say something like it’s a tale of a war hero coming home after a long war. If that doesn’t float your boat, don’t worry. Because The Odyssey Decoded suggests that this ancient classic may be about something else.

This thoughtful and highly readable work shows us why The Odyssey is about more than an epic journey and how it has something to say to today’s readers. Kimber: Yeah, you, Tootsie. You don’t even have to stock up on Dramamine. O happy day!

First off, note that The Odyssey Decoded isn’t meant to replace Homer’s original work. It’s intended to serve as an introduction, a companion, and a fresh perspective on “one of the most influential stories ever told.”

It succeeds. In spades. 

The book opens with one of the greatest tragedies in history: the burning of the Library of Alexandria and the consequent, incalculable loss of ancient thought and writing. It then takes us back to the origins of The Odyssey as an oral tradition and then to the poet Homer. The Odyssey Decoded then poses two key questions that propel the balance of this intriguing and highly engaging book: 1) What does the myth really tell us?, and 2) Why is The Odyssey one of the most studied books in human history?

Those familiar with Homer’s tale will recognize the principals in this book. Odysseus. Penelope. Telemachus. Calypso. Athena. Poseidon. Circe, Ino, and so on. So, the book has a familiar feel to it. The basic story is told in Episodes like a docudrama. An Episode refreshes our memory about a portion of the story. Then, under Decoding, the text explores what happened in the segment indicated and why. 

Decoding includes The Pride of the Victor, The Price of Survival, The Warning from the Dead, The Call of the Impossible, and true victory (it’s probably not what you think.) Themes and settings are also explored, including the Trojan War and years of combat and conflict and the toll they take. There’s also Odysseus’s faithful hound, Argos. Revenge. Correcting hubris. Miasma. (I’d almost forgotten about Argos.)

Analytical without being didactic, The Odyssey Decoded shows us that the original tale is about much more than an epic journey and maritime adventures. It shows us how Odysseus’s journey can be read as a trial and how said trial is part of a long process that brings Odysseus back to his human condition. We realize how Odysseus is slowly transformed from the triumphant conqueror of Troy to a weary traveler who just wants to go home. And how that transformation can apply to any reader, across any century and culture. It’s brilliant.

Also discussed is what Odysseus embodies and what Penelope symbolizes as well as the key role of Telemachus. So The Odyssey is not just the story of a man returning home after a long war. It’s a guide to human experience. Indeed, Odysseus’ story shows us how a human being becomes a whole individual. It’s one reason why this work has resonated over millennia and continues to be read and studied widely.

Don’t miss the Conclusion: The Last Secret of the Odyssey. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. The final chapter, For the Road, includes some key recaps. An illustrated companion map of Odysseus’s route through the Mediterranean is included. 

So if the words “Homer” or “Odysseus” make you want to jump up and run screaming from the room or reach for the nearest bottle of No Doze, just wait a minute. Think again. The Odyssey Decoded is a worthwhile read. And no, it is not a dry and brittle rehash of the original tale. Nor is it a classroom lecture that’s as arid as the Atacama Desert. It’s entertaining, informative, and inspiring. Bursting with vitality, energy, and insight. In fact, the writing style is as fresh as green grass after a spring rain.

Finally, it’s been years since we read The Odyssey. The Odyssey Decoded inspired one of us to dig up her copy and read it with a fresh perspective. The other – the four-footed one – is out scouting another New York steak. Go figure.

.

Pages & Paws Rating

Our Rating: 3.5


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The Disjointed Adventures of Bo (Good Luck Following Along)

The Mother, the Daughter, and the Ghost

By Patrick Trumpy (Indie author, 2026)

Genre: Who knows?

Pages (Print): 266)

Via: Author request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

Well. That’s a coupla days out of our lives we’ll never be able to get back. And to think we coulda been watching a test pattern.

That’s about the size of it in this sarcastic, sardonic debut novel by Patrick Trumpy. Think Lemony Snickett’s Baudelaire orphans meet Eeyore and Sister Bertrille.  With a dash of A Confederacy of Dunces. It may be “darkly humorous” for the first few chapters. But eighteen-year-old Bo’s flippant, glib demeanor and her insufferably sardonic commentary get old after about 6,898 curtain calls. We bailed out at Chapter 14. So, we won’t be rating this book. Here’s why (the short version):

Told in the first person from Bo’s POV, reading The Mother is like finding a beautifully wrapped gift in the mail. You open it to find a tax audit.

“The Mother” may be a reference to Bo’s own estranged mother. Escaping that mum, Bo bolts from her familial home. Jumps in a taxi and shouts to the driver, “This is the way!” (We kept hearing The Mandalorian.) Arriving at a convent, Bo meets another “mother,” whip-wielding Mother Madeline. Or Mother Superior. Bo soon finds herself ensconced in a convent with a group of geriatric nuns who mistake Bo’s arrival as the fulfillment of a prophecy… or… something. She becomes “Bo, the Reluctant Radiant.” Aka: Hermitess of the Rocks.

Here – and pretty much everywhere – Bo spouts impossible lines like, “Do you behest my company in the tillage, or may I scamper off to contemplate?” And, “Your reverent solemness for my holy coronation is uncharacteristically considerate” (to her biological mom when Bo joins the novitiate).

It’s enough to make your hair ache.

Her companion, the ghost, is an unstable partner and certain temptations of urban life beckon.

Meanwhile, the plot moves with the alacrity of a three-toed sloth. On crutches. It’s like, Oh hi, Bo. What nonsense are you spouting today?

Reading this book is like trying to teach a pig to sing. It can’t be done and it annoys the pig.

It’s like the story’s auditioning for a soap opera and forgot to stop. The only thing missing is a PhD in overwriting. Kimber: Is this a book or a canned laugh track for a 1970s sitcom?

We bailed out after about 70 pages or so. Could not force ourselves to turn another page. I mean, really. A mocking, satirical main character who treats the world like it’s an imposition on her coffee break? A self-described animal hater? Kimber: Lost us there, Babe. Never to return.

Here’s the deal. The writing in this book is actually quite good. But we kept seeing Martin Short’s Ed Grimley every time Bo opened her mouth. So it just didn’t flip our pancake. But then, we’re kinda picky about our batter. And our tablemates.

Bottom Line

We simply do not have time for books that don’t grab us. That we don’t enjoy. That try too hard. This checks all those boxes. Besides. We’d rather read something that actually made us want to keep going. This ain’t it. So sayonara, baby!


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Treat Yo’ Shelves: Yes, We Review Indie Books!

Okay, hoomans. Let’s be honest. That internet thingy is flooded with books. Some are what Mom calls “masterpieces.” (No idea what that means. But Mom likes it. So I do, too.) Some are… let’s call them “Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky” candidates. And some of the worst books we’ve read in the last six months are by indie authors. We’re talking cringeworthy. But we’ve also found some hidden gems by indie authors that we loved.

‘Ahoy mateys!’

So. Speaking of “hidden gems” – sort of – The ‘Ole Curmudgeon and I thought now’s a good time to review what we review. (Kimber: It’s mostly my brilliant idea. TOC helped. A little.) Like this:

We read, review, and occasionally rant about books and book love. That includes well-written books by indie authors.

Here’s the deal:
We love indie authors. You are brave. You are fast. You think outside the litter box.

You don’t have to wait three years for a partridge in a pear tree and a publishing house to tell you that your story matters. But we’re not your mom, Sugar. Like, we don’t give five star ratings just cuz you sent us a polite DM. (Kimber: Altho extra bacon never hurts. What?)

Now we’re talkin’!

What We Do:

  • Real Reviews: If your plot twist makes us stand up and cheer or chuckle and snort root beer out our nose, we’ll say so. If your dialogue sounds like an AI trying to write poetry or serve up wilted arugula, we’ll say that, too.
  • Honest Takes: We believe indie authors need real feedback to grow, not just toxic positivity from bots.
  • Spotlight Hidden Gems: If we love your book, we will scream about it from the rooftops (or the dog house).

Indie Authors, Come and Get It:

So if you think your book can handle a thoughtful, blunt, woof-worthy review, lend us your ears. Oh, wait. Wrong reference. (Silly Mom!) If you think your book is well-written, coherent, and has something to say worth listening to, send us your ARC (preferrably hard copy after reading our Submission Guidelines). Examples:

  • Clean romance with NO Alaska-sized plot-holes? Send it.
  • Fantasy with better world-building than the actual world? We’re in!
  • Historical fiction that stands up and walks? Yes, please.
  • Faith-flavored fiction or inspiring memoir that’s better than a second bowl of cookies and cream ice cream? Let’s grab another spoon. (Wait. Better than ice cream??? Let’s not get crazy here, okay?)

Be sure to read our Submission Guidelines first. That’s key. Cuz we’re like, picky. And we accept maybe half of the review requests that come our way.

Also note: Likes, Comments and Link Sharing are required for any book getting a positive review (3 stars or more). Failure to do do within three days of posting may result in removal of the post.

Warning: We DNF (Did Not Finish) with reckless abandon if the pacing is slower than our WiFi. As in, you’ve got about three to five chapters to reel us in. If we’re not hooked by then, chances are we’ll jump ship.

Got that, Cupcake? Good.

How to Submit

If you think your magnum opus can make the cut, send your review request to: kikero@juno.com. Subject line: Review request.

Let’s make the indie world a little more interesting, one honest sentence at a time. And don’t forget bacon!

Stay noisy,
Mom and Kimber the Magnificent