Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie


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Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky Awards, Part III -or – 9 Summer Stinkers (Skip These & You Haven’t Missed a Thing)

Kimber: Nobody wants to waste their valuable time reading stinkers, right? That’s why Mom and I launched the BKLBITS (Big Kitty Litter Box In The Sky) Awards awhile back. How does a book make the BKLBITS Award list? Like this:

Short criteria for Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky Awards:

  1. A pointless slog to the Middle of Nowhere littered with unsympathetic cardboard characters we don’t know, don’t want to know, and could care less about.
  2. Poor writing littered with spelling and grammatical errors and typos.
  3. Political polemics disguised as fiction.
  4. Badly overwritten, tedious and mundane. Dull as a box of rocks and twice as dense.
  5. Does not enrich, enlighten, educate or inspire in any way.
  6. Gratuitous violence and/or profanity
  7. A snoozefest

So here, without further ado, are the Mom and Kimber BKLBITS Awards, Part III:

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FRIDAY FEATURE: “Tech-Save Us”

Mom and I like to feature new talent and fresh voices from time to time.  Today it’s author Gib Check.  Okay. So it’s not exactly “today.” This post is actually from  2011. (Yeah. One of us is older than dirt. I won’t tell you who.) Gib was one of our very first guest authors. So we’re honoring him today with a revisit of one of his submissions from yesteryear.

So grab a chair and sit down for some chuckles and “oh yeah!” moments with Gib’s humorous ode to modern day technology, Tech-Save Us. Does this sound familiar?

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The Dog Days & Children’s Classics

What?

Hello Friends and Happy August!

If you’ve been following Pages and Paws for any length of time – say, 20 minutes or so – you know that Her Momness sometimes says weird stuff about books. (Don’t tell her I said that, okay?)

Sometimes Mom’ll read a “best-seller” that’s topping the charts and go, “Aaaarg! Barf-o-rama and gag me with Meow Mix! Bleeeech and double bleech!!” And sometimes she’ll read an obscure-ish book by an unknown indie author and chirp, “Why isn’t this magnum opus in every library, on every shelf, and in every bookstore in America and the whole world included?! Cuz it’s Seriously Awesome!”

The Children’s Section

Well. You know Mom. (Insert eye roll here.)

She also thinks some of the best writing and coolest stories around can be found in the Children’s Section of the local library. (Not sure what that says about Mom. Can I get back to you on that?)

Pop Quiz!

Anywho, Mom was lumbering back from The Book Place the other day with her usual truckload of To Be Reads. All from the Children’s Section. I’m not making this up. Then she decides it’s time for a Pop Quiz. Like this:

“Okay, Kimmi. What children’s classic opens with these lines”:

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EBook or Hard Copy?

Dear eBooks:

It’s not personal. After all, you’re pretty cute. Shiny and sleek. Portable. Lightweight and easy to carry. Slim and trim. Convenient.

And we still don’t like you.

We prefer hard copy. Like, a real, live physical book with actual paper pages. That you can actually turn. Crease. Stick a bookmark in to save your place.

We like hearing the satisfying creak a New Book makes when it’s opened for the first time by a brand new reader. Or the smack of a just finished book when you snap the cover closed.

We like the way hard copy books feel. How you can brush the cover with your fingertips. Open it with your hands. Thumb the pages. Tuck it under your arm.

Additionally, one of us has been reading books since shortly after the Ark made landfall. And eBooks hurt Momasaurus’s eyes. Cause fatigue. Headaches. Eye strain.

You do not want any of the above coming through in a book review if you’ve submitted your magnum opus via eBook, okay? (Trust me on this.)

Book dinosaurs of the world, unite! As long as we’re talkin hard copy, okay?

XXOO,

Kimber and Mom

Which do you prefer – eBook or hard copy?


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GUEST POST: Meet ‘Whitney Chronicles’ Author Larry Lawrence

Today we’re chatting with Larry Lawrence, author of the The Whitney Chronicles series. (Read our review of his latest book inthe series, No Greater Love, here.) Take it away Larry:
I began writing while I was still working as a full-time pastor and worship leader residing in North Carolina. When I retired in 2015, I decided that I would turn my hand to writing and began a journey that fascinates me to this day. I have published four books in the Whitney Chronicles series, and another is due out very soon.

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GUEST POST: Meet Doreen Berger, Author of ‘The Captain’s Daughters

Kimber the Magnificent.

Hey! Hey! And double woof! It’s a guest author post! It’s not only a guest author post, but this author is also a dog mom! Yes siree, Lassie! It just doesn’t get much better than that! See:

How cute is this?! Honey and Buddy, author Doreen Berger’s dogs.

Wait? Where was I?

Oh yeah. Guest post.

Anyway, Doreen Berger shares a behind-the-scenes look at how her novel, The Captain’s Daughters, was born. (Read our review here.) So grab a doggie treat. Pour yourself a hot cuppa. Pull up a chair. Cuz this is just plain fun! Take it away, Doreen!

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How to Grab an AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT

Happy New Year and Welcome Back!

You may recall that back in November Mom and I decided to temporarily close the blog to new book review requests thru the end of 2021. One of us was just plumb tuckered out! (Hi, Mom.) We were also way behind in reviews due to the sheer volume of requests. Phew!

We’re gonna have to push the re-open date back to February 1, 2022. 

In the meantime, we decided to start the new year off by offering some Author Spotlights. If you’re an author with a book that meets our Submission Guidelines and would like to promote it here, this is for you.

Here’s the 4-1-1:

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Bingeworthy or Bust? 11 Popular TV Dramas Reviewed

You know we’re all about books here. Good stuff. Lousy stuff you don’t need to waste your valuable time on.

But binge-watching just about anything on Netflix or whatever seems to have become a favorite indoor sport since the never-ending pandemic took root. So we’ve been getting requests for feedback on some of them thar Netflix-y type drama series of the TV kind.

So. What’s binge-worthy and what’s not? Here goes:

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Author Ann Kiemel & How Do You Spell “Success”?

 

Pssst! Hey, writer! Yeah. You. Over here. I have a question for ya. Well, a few:

  • What’s your goal as a writer?
  • Do you want to sell millions of copies of your book (who doesn’t?)?
  • Make the New York Times Bestseller list?
  • What’s your definition of “success”?
  • How will you know when you’ve arrived?

Or does “bestseller status” seem like an elusive dream, a “happily ever after” fairytale?

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GUEST POST: Author Jonathan Durham on Writer’s Block

Hello Friends!

Kimber here. Being my usual charming, magnificent, magnanimous self. While I’m sitting here waiting for She Who Must Be Obeyed (sometimes) to grab my leash so’s we can head out for a walk, I wanted to introduce you to one of our new friends.

His name is Edward Jonathan Durham. Isn’t that fun to say? Edward is the author of Winterset Hollow. It’s one of the most unusual books we’ve read all year. Read our full review here.

We recently reached out to Edward and offered him a guest post. He wrote about how he faces down The Dreaded Writer’s Block. There are some pretty nifty tips and ideas here. So I’d listen up ‘fize you. Take it away, Edward!

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