As of November 1, we are officially CLOSED to new book review requests until further notice.
Kimber here. Lemme explain. Cuz Mom is going a little crazy. Well. Crazier than usual. But it’s a good kind of crazy. The smiley kind, if ya know what I mean.
The 4-1-1:
We love getting your book review requests. But we’re kinda drowning.As in, we just can’t keep up! (We’re also tired of authors and publishers and such who don’t comply with our requirements regarding Liking, Sharing, and Commenting on positive reviews of 3 stars or more. But for those who comply, a HUGE thank you! You know who you are.)
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So we’re putting a “paws” on new submissions for the time being.
Thus, if you’ve contacted us to request a book review recently and haven’t heard back, it’s not cuz we’re hidin’. Or out chasin’ the cat. (At least one of us isn’t.) We’re just trying to catch our breath and keep our heads above review request waters. Okay?
We love hearing from you and will do our barkworthy best to catch up on our review queue (it’s like a mile long).
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So thanks for your patience. We’ll finish what’s in the queue. Continue posting on bookish topics. And no, we’re not shutting down the blog. We’re just not accepting any new review requests until further notice. Got that, Sweet Stuff? Good.
Sneak Peak
FYI: We’re also working on a new project. Kind of. Sort of. Stay tuned for more!
Kimber the Magnificent here. Mom can’t come to the blog right now. Something about a screaming smoke detector and an oven spewing flames.
While Mom’s otherwise engaged, can we talk? Like, about books written with AI?
Good. Cuz our review request inbox has been looking less like a literary sanctuary and more like a sci-fi convention lately. Until just recently we were getting flooded with books that smell suspiciously like silicon, algorithmically optimized plots, and adjectives that no human has used since 1856.
So, let’s answer the question on everyone’s mind — and by everyone, we mean authors trying to generate The Great American Novel over their coffee break or write the next Middle Earth trilogy during their lunch hour: Do we review books written by AI?
The short answer: Naw. Longer answer: Maybe.
I know. I’m gorgeous.
We get it, okay? Why spend years tilting at windmills, grappling with quixotic characters or testy transitions and the like when you can just type “Write a story of an elderly Spanish gentleman who goes mad from reading chivalric romances and believes he is a heroic knight” into a prompt box and hit enter? Easy-peasy. And there’s the rub. Or the windmill.
When we sit down to review a book, we’re looking for a soul. Evidence of genuine human effort. Creativity. Heart. Originality.
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Keeping that in mind, here’s why ChatGPT won’t be getting a star rating from us anytime soon:
1. Algorithms ain’t “folks”
A computer can mimic sorrow, but I’m pretty sure it’s never stared at a ceiling at 2:00 a.m. wondering how a protagonist will overcome heartbreak, a wicked stepmother, or too much month at the end of the moola. We want authentic human emotion and genuine responses, not a statistical probability of what sadness looks like.
2. Predictable Patterns
AI is great at patterns. You know what else is great at patterns? Punch cards and knitting machines. Most AI-generated books read like an autocomplete sequence that got out of hand and refused to apologize. Like someone rounded up the most average sentences on the internet, tossed them into a blender, and had a toddler glue them back together. Or a Hallmark movie without the connective tissue of actual human intuition or emotion. (Kinda like the neighborhood fluff ball. But that’s another story.)
Still gorgeous.
3. We prefer bravery
Writing a book is an act of bravery. It’s putting a piece of your heart and brain on paper and letting strangers judge it. Copy-pasting a prompt is an act of data management. Mom and I? We’re book reviewers, not prompt engineer detectives. (Although I must say we’re pretty good at both. So there!)
4. Think Again
Well. Think you can sneak one past us? Think again, Buttercup. We can spot AI-ish “His breath hitched” or “Her heart skipped a beat” a mile away. Ditto overused literay cliches: It was not a mere house—it was a tapestry of memories pulsing like a heartbeat in the quiet landscape. And filler verbs: Delve, embark, navigate. And if your characters spend half the book “smiling enigmatically” while navigating a plot that seems logical but is as hollow as a chocolate Easter bunny, you’ve just tripped our AI alarm. And that book is likely to join the rest of the rejects in our voluminous and ever-growing DNF pile. Think Mount Rushmore. Or all the tea in China.
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5. The Biggie
Yes, AI can be helpful in organizing ideas. Research. Brainstorming, outlining, or charting plot possibilities and the like. But using Perplexity or Sudowrite to write your whole book? Like, Every. Word? Real.
We’re looking for authors who demonstrate significant creative input and control of their work rather than handing it off to AI. Way we see it, authors who rely on Type.ai or Claude and the like to write their books are an insult to authors who are The Real Deal. Who labor over sentence syntax, pacing, characterizations, conflict, dialogue and story arcs. Who treat every paragraph like it’s the sister of The Sistine Ceiling. Who agonize over 6,745 word choices or whether to deploy the Oxford comma or not.
Besides. AI isn’t you. That matters. In fact, more and more book contracts are starting to include language certifying that the manuscript is original to the author. Cuz guess what, Toots? AI-generated material is not considered “original authorship.” That matters, too.
Cranking out books written with artificial intelligence may be quick and easy. But depending on usage, AI writing is cheating as far as we’re concerned. Rather than offering your unique view, thoughts, and voice, AI outputs are generic mashups of pre-existing works. So relying on AI may make you a quick writer, even a prolific one. You may even sell a lot of AI written books. But again, if AI overtakes human input and creative control, is it authentic writing? We say No. Cuz it’s not wholly, soul-ly human you. So. Not. Impressed. Tip (Throwin’ this in for free): Put in the time time and effort to develop your writing muscles and do the heavy lifting yourself, Cookie. Then we’ll talk, okay?
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Exception: We may consider an AI written book IF the author lets us know up front that they’ve incorporated AI outputs and how much. Other than that? Sayanora, baby!
To Human Authors:
To the writers out there currently staring at a blank screen or page, rewriting the same paragraph for the nineteenth time: Keep going. Keep writing. Keep editing, revising, and rewriting. AI is okay as long as you’re in control, calling the shots. Cuz your authentic humanity is exactly what we want to read. We want your voice. Your creativity. Your fingerprint on every page. Got that, Babe?
Thusly, our TBR pile is reserved for living, breathing human writers who know the difference between genuine crispy bacon and the fake stuff. Ya follow, Sugar?
Kimber: Now if I can just remember where I stashed the fire extinguisher… Just kiddin’… Kind of…
By Gayle M. Irwin (Waggin’ Tales Inspirational Pet Stories, 2026)
Genre: Fiction – Western Romance
Pages (print): 197
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.
He’s running from the spotlight. She’s protecting her grandparents’ legacy. Neither expected to fall in love.
Sought-after, but now reclusive, actor Blake Scott trades his oceanside California life for a fixer-upper house in western Montana. He wants one thing: solitude. What he encounters instead is a boisterous rooster named Russell Crow, a donkey in labor, and a woman across the road who is impossible to ignore.
Lilly Warren pours everything into the farm her grandparents built. She cherishes her family and friends, her rescue animals, the greenhouse business, and the land she refuses to lose to the highest bidder. She has no time for secrets, and even less for a man who seems to be keeping them.
Scene stealers: Bernie the Burmese Mountain dog. Angel, a long-haired collie with three legs. Ranger the cocker spaniel. Russell Crow, a Rhode Island Red rooster with attitude. Kinda like a sweet furry face we all know and love. Without the feathers.
Then Blake recuperates from a swan dive off a ladder (Bernie to the rescue!) while wrestling with whether or not he wants to accept a multi-million-dollar movie contract. Meanwhile, Lilly faces rising property taxes and a plot by greedy real estate developer Gordon Huff that threatens her land, her livelihood, and her family legacy. Can Lilly count on Blake to come through in the clutch? Or is he just another self-centered Hollywood movie star pretending to be someone he’s not?
We love the story arc about Blake’s dad and his black lab, Merle. It adds a layer of warmth and texture to the story. Speaking of warmth, these pages radiate it like the glow of a campfire under September stars. The story unfolds like a Big Sky sunrise, a heart you can feel on paper.
Told from both Blake’s and Lilly’s viewpoints in alternating chapters, the plot is well-rounded and robust. Laced with occasional levity, the writing breathes with a quiet, arresting grace. Like a gathered bouquet of shadow and light, written with a tenderness so sharp it aches.
That being said, we have a few bones to pick with this book. (You knew that was coming, right?)
Bones
Lilly’s reaction to Blake’s revelation seems over the top. And Tom Hutchins’s verbal barbs chucked at Blake Scott during the county commissioners’ meeting? They sound canned. Artificial. As is the case with another Waggin’ Tales book we recently reviewed, the type font for Grumpy is way too small for us dinosaurs. We kinda hate that.
Also, why a book with this caliber of writing didn’t get more attention in the editing/proofreading department is baffling. Typos, punctuation errors, misspelled words and dropped commas and quotation marks as well as basic usage errors keep cropping up. Select examples: Blake is in the “throws of deal-making.” (The correct word is “throes.” Ouch.) And “whisp of a sigh.” A bracelet that’s “… pale turquoise and dark corral…” There’s also the part about Lily wearing pajama bottoms on page two. Same setting and scene, on page 9, she’s dressed in blue jeans.
Kimber:Clean-up on Aisle 9!
Speaking of “grumpy,” – sort of – the cover art? Kimber: Gag me with arugula! Way too soap opera-y for our taste. The image also clashes with the book’s description of Blake. In the book he has “growth stubble on his chin and above his lips” and “deep-green eyes.” So, who’s the full-bearded, brown-eyed dude on the cover?!!
We’re also not crazy about the title. Almost made us chuck it in the DNF pile. Just sayin’. (Kimber: We kinda like Rescuing Mr. Hollywood in Big Sky Country. Or Russell Crow to the Rescue! Maybe From Spotlight to Starlight: Romance in Montana’s Bitterroot Mountains. How ‘bout Stars, Solitude, and Second Chances? Or From Fame to Forever: A Montana Romance. There’s also my personal fave: Saved by the Animals of Big Sky Country. Anyway…)
The Bottom Line
Overall,Falling for the Grumpy Billionaire is a lithe and agile read that’s quick, clean, and as refreshing as a mountain stream in July. Beautifully written and expertly paced, it’s a skillful blend of Montana’s wild beauty, animal love, and the hope of second chances. With a heart as big as a Montana sky, this cozy romance shows us what courage, honesty, and the magic of starting over look like, one paw-print at a time.
Kimber:I’d grab a copy now ‘fize you. As for me? I’m gonna hang out with my new best buds. Bernie. Angel. And Ranger. While Her Royal Momness is booking the next flight to the Bitterroots. TTFN!
Pages & Paws Rating
Our Rating: 3.0
It’ll get a higher rating when that Clean-Up on Aisle 9, et.al, is taken care of.
Woof! It’s your favorite literary canine here. Ready to chew on some most memorable summer reads. Well, okay. Not “summer,” strictly speaking. Roughly May thru August-ish. But let’s not get picky here, okay?
Anywho, whether you love stories with a strong pack mentality, thrilling chases, exotic settings or intriguing historical fiction, you can count on me, Kimber the Magnificent, for some barkworthy recs. Some of these titles are kind of obscure. Some we liked more than others. A couple surprised us. But all are memorable in their own write, right? By “memorable” we mean they linger after the final page. Roam around in your head for awhile. Kind of like extra crispy bacon…. What?
Anywho, we read close to 100 books this summer. I’ve dug up some of the most barkworthy. Let’s dig in!
Here, in no particular order, are some of our favorite/most memorable reads from “summer”:
The Help – Kathryn Stockett. – Historical Fiction.
Can’t wait to see what book awesomeness The Ole Curmudgeon will dig up this fall! You never know. Stay tuned!
P.S.: We’ll be updating The Naughty List soon. Aka: The Kitty Litter Hall of Shame. As in, Making a list. Checking it twice. Gonna find out which authors failed to adhere to our Submission Guidelines and have subsequently had our reviews of their books removed. Don’t think we don’t notice who does and does not Like, Share, and Comment on a positive review of 3.0 or more per our requirements. We do. And we keep a list. That you really don’t want to be on.
Okay, hoomans. Let’s be honest. That internet thingy is flooded with books. Some are what Mom calls “masterpieces.” (No idea what that means. But Mom likes it. So I do, too.) Some are… let’s call them “Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky” candidates. And some of the worst books we’ve read in the last six months are by indie authors. We’re talking cringeworthy. But we’ve also found some hidden gems by indie authors that we loved.
‘Ahoy mateys!’
So. Speaking of “hidden gems” – sort of – The ‘Ole Curmudgeon and I thought now’s a good time to review what we review. (Kimber: It’s mostly my brilliant idea. TOC helped. A little.) Like this:
We read, review, and occasionally rant about books and book love. That includes well-written books by indie authors.
Here’s the deal: We love indie authors. You are brave. You are fast. You think outside the litter box.
You don’t have to wait three years for a partridge in a pear tree and a publishing house to tell you that your story matters. But we’re not your mom, Sugar. Like, we don’t give five star ratings just cuz you sent us a polite DM. (Kimber: Altho extra bacon never hurts. What?)
Now we’re talkin’!
What We Do:
Real Reviews: If your plot twist makes us stand up and cheer or chuckle and snort root beer out our nose, we’ll say so. If your dialogue sounds like an AI trying to write poetry or serve up wilted arugula, we’ll say that, too.
Honest Takes: We believe indie authors need real feedback to grow, not just toxic positivity from bots.
Spotlight Hidden Gems: If we love your book, we will scream about it from the rooftops (or the dog house).
Indie Authors, Come and Get It:
So if you think your book can handle a thoughtful, blunt, woof-worthy review, lend us your ears. Oh, wait. Wrong reference. (Silly Mom!) If you think your book is well-written, coherent, and has something to say worth listening to, send us your ARC (preferrably hard copy after reading our Submission Guidelines). Examples:
Clean romance with NO Alaska-sized plot-holes? Send it.
Fantasy with better world-building than the actual world? We’re in!
Historical fiction that stands up and walks? Yes, please.
Faith-flavored fiction or inspiring memoir that’s better than a second bowl of cookies and cream ice cream? Let’s grab another spoon. (Wait. Better than ice cream??? Let’s not get crazy here, okay?)
Be sure to read our Submission Guidelines first. That’s key. Cuz we’re like, picky. And we accept maybe half of the review requests that come our way.
Also note: Likes, Comments and Link Sharing are required for any book getting a positive review (3 stars or more). Failure to do do within three days of posting may result in removal of the post.
Warning: We DNF (Did Not Finish) with reckless abandon if the pacing is slower than our WiFi. As in, you’ve got about three to five chapters to reel us in. If we’re not hooked by then, chances are we’ll jump ship.
Got that, Cupcake? Good.
How to Submit
If you think your magnumopus can make the cut, send your review request to: kikero@juno.com. Subject line: Review request.
Let’s make the indie world a little more interesting, one honest sentence at a time. And don’t forget bacon!
Can we talk? Like, about book reviews? Cuz Mom and I are getting flooded with requests for book reviews. We love it! But we also want to be efficient. So we decided to revisit some basic ground rules. As in, what to avoid. Or Don’t Be This Author. With this kind of book.
So, here’s how to get a negative review in three easy steps (Examples taken from actual events. Names and places sort of changed to protect the not-so-innocent.):
1) Use gratuitous profanity and offensive language.
One author complained about his profanity-laced collection of “poetry” that netted him a 3.0 score on Reedsy/Discovery. What he didn’t know is that a 3.0 on R/D was a gift. If his book was reviewed here, it’d get a 1.0. On a good day.
This same author also complained about other less-than-stellar reviews. His objection? Basically, he out a lot of time and hard work into his book. So he thought it deserved a higher rating.
When a dull-as-a-blunt-spoon biog about a relative earned a rating that was about what you’d expect for a dull-as-a-blunt-spoon biog, another author opined that they were writing as a family member, not as a professional author. Newsflash: We do honest reviews here, bub. So, sorry. Not sorry.
Newsflash again, Cupcake: Time, hard work, and devotion do not necessarily a good book make. If they did, your Maytag would be on the NYT Bestseller List. And if you’re fishing for four or five star ratings, bub, you’re using the wrong pole. In the wrong pond. So here’s an idea (thrown’ this in for free): Instead of whining about low scores, how ‘bout cleaning it up and writing a better book? Duh.
2) Argue with the reviewer about your book’s rating.
Don’t make me explain this. See #1, above.
3) Submit a book that’s so sloppy it’ll make your mama’s hair ache.
One author actually submitted a “short story” for review that was not only not short, it wasn’t even a “story.” As in, no real beginning. No middle. No end. And no point. Hello? He also didn’t seem to know the difference between “memoir” and “fiction. That aching hair thing again.
You’ve heard of “drunk tweeting”? That was how this guy’s “short story” read. Only longer. And why anyone would submit their book for review with “partially edited” In. The. Title boggles the mind. So don’t be that author. You’re better off drunk tweeting.
If you’ve read this far, you’re smarter than all of the above. You also renew our faith in a merciful God.
Also note that while we welcome authentic, faith-filled stories from a biblical worldview, we’re not fond of cudgels. Or being beaten over the head with Bible verses. Subtlety is an art, Buttercup. Learn it.
Yea, verily. It takes a lot of time and effort to read and review books. For free. We don’t have time for junk. As defined by us.
To reiterate:We do honest reviews here. If we hate your book, we say so. If we love your book, we say so. You just never know. As defined by us again. We make no guarantees and no promises.
But if you’re feeling brave and have actual, real talent and a professionally edited book – instead of drunk tweeting 2.0 – check out what we are and are not looking for regarding book submissions. You can find that in our Rating System and Submission Guidelines. If you’re an author looking for a review and haven’t yet read them, now would be good. Cuz you so don’t want to be That Author. Trust me on this one, Toots.
– We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging to bring you this important news bulletin –
Her Crankiness is at again. Being all cranky. Refusing to share her chocolate. Again. (That’s actually a good thing if you’re a dog like me. We don’t do chocolate. It’s toxic for us dogs.)
RED ALERT!
Anyway, She Who Must Be Obeyed has an important announcement. It’s for authors. Author wannabes. Publicists. Blog tour coordinators. Publishers. Pretty much anyone who contacts us for a review.
Listen Up!
If you’re one of the above, kindly pay attention. Cuz this is for you. And we’re not gonna repeat ourselves, savvy? So I’d listen up ‘fize you. Here goes:
ATTENTION AUTHORS & REVIEW REQUESTORS!
As noted in our Rating System and Submission Guidelines, you are required to Like, Comment and Share a positive review. If you are unable or unwilling to do so, THEN DON’T REQUEST A REVIEW.
Mom and I? We spend tons of time combing through review requests and deciding what we will or won’t accept. If a book is accepted, we may spend hours and hours reading it. And more time crafting a brilliant and pithy review.
Huge
It’s a huge investment of time and energy. We don’t charge any fees for reviews. We don’t get a cent for doing this. Not one penny. Our time and talent is free to you, authoroo.
At Least
So THE LEAST YOU CAN DO is say “thanks” by Liking, Commenting and Sharing the Post Link for a positive review. This not only helps promote your book, it also boosts post visibility. So again:
Required
Liking, Commenting, and Sharing the Link to a positive review is a REQUIREMENT for anyone asking for a review. If you don’t do so within three days of post publication, we will remove the post.
DO NOT TEST US ON THIS.YOU WILL LOSE.
In fact, here are some recent-ish posts that have been removed because the author(s) failed to adhere to our Like, Comment, and Share requirement outlined above. Also known as The Kitty Litter Hall of Shame (you soooo don’t want to be here, savvy?):
Someone you know has a loved one in ICU/CCU. You care. Want to help. But you’re not sure how. Here are 15+ ways you can help a patient in ICU/CCU. Based on recent experience a la Her Royal Momness and Super Dad:
PRAY.
VISIT IF YOU CAN. Patients often feel comforted by hearing a familiar voice and sensing your physical presence. Be sure to check with the hospital in advance regarding visiting hours and policies.
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT ASK for directions to the hospital. ICU patients may not even know where they are, let alone how to get you there. Get the name and address of the hospital from someone else. Figure out how to get there on your own.
COMMUNICATE with Nurses: Check in with them to understand how long to stay, what stimulation the patient can handle, and if they need anything.
AVOID PLATITUDES: “Everything happens for a reason,” “Stay strong,” etc. Phrases like this can come across as dismissive or trite. Better: “You’re in our daily thoughts and prayers” or “We’re here for you.”
HELP WITH PERSONAL CARE: Ask the nurse if you can comb the patient’s hair, put a cool cloth on their forehead, etc.
REMIND AND REORIENT. The patient may feel confused and disoriented. Tell them the day, time, and what’s happening. Let them know how their favorite sports team is doing or what the weather is like. Keep your voice gentle and low.
FOLLOW HYGIENE RULES. Wash your hands/use hand sanitizer before entering and leaving their room. Every. Time. Gown and glove up as directed. Avoid touching equipment.
AVOID inanities like “Get well soon” or “best wishes for a speedy recovery.” There’s no such thing as a “speedy recovery” vis-a-vis ICU. Better: “We’re pulling for you!” or “Hope you feel better and get stronger every day.”
DO NOT SEND FLOWERS. Most hospitals won’t allow flowers in the ICU due to infection risks (pollen, mold, bacteria). Save the bouquets for later. Consider simple gifts instead: puzzles, books, soft blankets (check hospital policy), or non-food items that aren’t strong-smelling. Always call the hospital first.
HOLDING the patient’s hand or providing a gentle touch can be very reassuring. Check with the nurses first.
If the patient is SEDATED, TALK TO THEM anyway. Per ICU nurses, the patient can hear when under sedation. They just can’t respond. A calm, familiar voice can be immensely comforting and reassuring. Super Dad can recall hearing snippets of conversation while sedated. Also bits and pieces from the books I brought to read aloud (“Inkheart” by Cornelia Funke. In case you’re wondering. And “Henry V.” Nobody’s perfect).
SUPPORT the Patient by supporting their Family: Food, coffee, small gift or gas cards can be very helpful.
Speaking of which, GIFT CARDS for the hospital cafeteria are terrif! On-site cafeterias are hugely convenient, enabling the patient’s fam to grab a snack or meal without leaving the hospital campus. The food is usually very good. It’s also very expensive. (A piping hot bowl of tomato basil soup wasn’t exactly what Mom had planned for Christmas Day. But it hit the spot nonetheless.)
OFFER to do chores for the patient’s household (collect mail, groceries, lawn, etc.).
PLEASE REFRAIN from discussing or referencing future plans, activities or events until/unless the patient indicates an interest in same. Events or plans that are weeks or months down the road are unfathomable and may feel overwhelming to someone who’s critically ill. Remember: One. Day. At. A. Time.
Ugh
ALSO: Remember to thank the NURSING STAFF. These highly skilled professionals are amazing‼️💯 Yea, nurses! 👏👏👏
WHEN SOMEONE says, “Let me know if you need anything,” ask, “What can you do?”
A brand new day!
FINALLY, one of the best “gifts” you can give an ICU patient is time. Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t expect them to “bounce back” or return to “normal” schedules or activities any time soon. They’ve just been thru the wringer. ICU is a traumatic experience. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Getting back to “normal” can take weeks or months. Or more. So don’t rush them. Give them the time and space they need to recover. Heal. Decompress. In every respect. On their timetable. Not yours.
Nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice. Always consult your doctor.
***
When will we get back to book blogging? Good question! No idea. But we’ve got some ideas in the pipeline. In case you’re wondering, Buttercup. So thanks for your patience. We appreciate every kind word and note of encouragement. You’re PAWsome!
Kimber here. Letting you know that Super Dad is out of ICU. And that nasty hospital place. Ninety miles from home. And ME! The nerve! (For background, see January 1 post.)
So we’re taking a U-turn on the blog today. Hope you don’t mind, Sweet Cakes. And if you do? Tough bouncies, Toots. Cuz Super Dad and Her Royal Momness have been away for four weeks. Four. Weeks. Eleven days in that nasty hospital place for Dad: Acute Hypoxic Respiratory Failure and Aspiration Pneumonia. And a bunch of other yucky stuff. It meant eight days in ICU. Three days on life support. Two+ weeks of initial convalescence at my brother’s house. Nearer the hospital. Not that I was counting or anything.
Never fear! Yours Truly is on the job, taking care of Super Dad.
They’ve been away since December 22! Missed Christmas completely. They say coming home to a houseful of Christmas decorations and unopened gifts on January 17 was “very weird.” But Dorothy Gale got it right: “There’s no place like home!” (I don’t know what the big deal is about Dorothy. We all know Toto was the brains of that outfit.)
Anyway, we’re gonna do Part I of what the hoo-mans learned from that hospital experience thingy. Throwin’ this is in for free. Stay tuned for Part 2 later. Here goes:
12+ ICU DOS and DONT’S. Based on recent experience. Consider it a Public Service Announcement:
***
“He’s in ICU.” Three words no one wants to hear. But when you know someone who has, what can you do? How can you help a close friend or loved one who’s just heard those words?
Here are some tips, suggestions and 12+ Dos and Don’ts on how you can help someone with a family member in or recently discharged from ICU/CCU:
FIRST, the patient’s family is probably in shock. No one plans to wind up in ICU.
So DON’T PRESS FOR DETAILS OR UPDATES. They’ve just walked into a war zone. They may not know which end is up, let alone how to communicate same. They may not have all the details on their loved one’s condition, diagnosis, or prognosis. Or be in a place where they can process that info. Be patient. Get updates from others or a family spox if you can.
Additionally, admission to ICU/CCU can be SUDDEN AND UNEXPECTED. Family members may arrive at the hospital with nothing but the clothes on their back. Can you grab or get some personal belongings to them? A change of clothes? Reading glasses? Soap? Shampoo? Lotion? Toothpaste and toothbrush, etc.
Offer to MANAGE LOGISTICS if you can. Be the point person to update other friends/family. With their approval, set up a Private Facebook group as a central repository of information to avoid duplicating effort (exhausting and time-consuming). Help arrange visitor rotations so family members can rest.
⭐️Here are some additional Dos and Don’ts for family members with a loved one in ICU/CCU: ⭐️
DO:
PRAY. First and foremost. If you’re not sure how or where to start, check out Samaritan’s Purse or the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (Google is your friend.)
DO VISIT IF YOU CAN. Your presence is a huge gift to those with a loved one who’s critically ill. Be sure to check with the hospital in advance regarding visiting hours and policies. Your calm presence can be very comforting.
DO ‘GO GREYHOUND’. If you can get family members to and from the ICU for visits, offer to drive. Be on time.
DO OFFER TO PICK UP up any necessary medical supplies. So the family has one less thing to worry about logistically.
DO COMPILE A CARE PACKAGE for when the patient is discharged. Include appropriate items as indicated/needed like anti-bacterial wipes, a box of tissue, herbal teas. Lysol spray disinfectant. Honey. O.J. A roll or two of Life Savers. Lip balm. Soothing lotions, a cozy blanket or warm socks, etc.
DO BUY THEM A GAS CARD.
DO CONSIDER A GIFT SUBSCRIPTION to Netflix or Apple TV, etc. (Tip: Formula 1 racing a la Netflix’s “Drive to Survive” is addictive. Just sayin’.)
DO OFFER TO WALK THEIR DOG. Hellllloooo?
DO COOK AND DELIVERmeals, with their approval. Focus on healthy, nutritious meals with lean protein (poultry. fish, legumes) and fresh produce. Bring food in disposable containers they don’t need to wash or return. Label and date each item so they’re easily identifiable when grabbing them out of the fridge/freezer.
IF THEY’RE A READER, DO consider an Audible subscription or some audio books from the library.
DO send a GET WELL CARD. A real one. Like, paper.
DON’T 1. DO NOT CALL. Those with a loved one in ICU are running on fumes and adrenaline. A phone call can be intrusive and disorienting, esp. if it comes when they’re in conference with a provider or other medical professional. They’ll call when they’re able. Message, email or text instead. End your texts/messsges with “no need to respond” to give them space and room to decompress.
DON’T EXPECT quick responses to communiques. Or chit-chat. Per the above, those with a critically ill loved one are EXHAUSTED. They may not have the energy to converse. Just be there. Sitting with them quietly or offering a hug is huge.
DON’T say “Call if you need anything.” Newsflash: Most people won’t. Those with seriously ill loved ones are under intense stress. They may feel overwhelmed. Hit by a tsunami. Don’t add to that by expecting them to call you with a list. Besides. They may not even know what they “need.” Their whole world has imploded. Been reduced to 3 letters: ICU. So take the initiative. Think of what YOU’D want. Google. Check with nurses. Go Nike. And just do it.
DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY if someone with a loved one in ICU doesn’t return your call or respond to a message right away. They’re not being rude. They’re prioritizing.
DON’T say “KEEP ME POSTED” or “Keep me updated.” That puts the ball back into the family’s court. Hellllo? Their plate is full. They don’t need anything else. So kindly don’t ask for or expect individual updates. See “Don’t press for details” and “Manage Logistics” above.
FINALLY: ➡️ The REAL WORK of recovery begins AFTER hospital discharge. It can be draining + exhausting for both patient and caregiver (family).
You can help by offering to “spell” the home caregiver so they can grab a shower, some fresh air, or a nap. Give them a break so they can recharge their batteries.
BTW. Chocolate can work wonders. Just sayin’. 😎 – Mom
For companion commentary, keep an eye out for 15+ Ways You Can Help an ICU Patient. Coming soon.
Disclaimer: Nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice. Always consult your doctor.
You know it’s a merry new year because I, Kimber the Magnificent, say so.
And cuz its’ January 1 and we kinda missed Christmas this year. More on that in a min. So kindly keep your hair on, Cupcake.
Being all brilliant and everything.
Where was I? Oh yeah. I have some other things to say as we ring in the new year. (No idea what that means. But Mom seems to like it. So I do, too.)
Speaking of The Ole Curmudgeon, we thought the new year would be a good time for an update. Cuz we’ve been away from the blog since October. We’ve been away so long, in fact, that one of us forgot her login credentials. Not to fret. Being all brilliant and everything, I fixed that!
Anyway, this is the part where you read or re-read our October 1 post. If you haven’t read that yet or forgot it, now would be good. Otherwise this post won’t make any sense.
