Incoming! Incoming! Grab the helmets and flak jackets! RED ALERT! Cuz Her Crankiness is on the warpath today! Like, Super-Duper Cranky.
My baby picture. I know. I’m adorable.
Why? Cuz yesterday she received her *promo* copy of a book she contributed an article to about Yours Truly. It’s an anthology called When Love Wags a Tail: Inspiring Stories of Love, Loyalty, and Laughter.
And we Totally Hate it.
What the “author” did to our story ranks right up there with pre-chewed bacon.
Good Monday morning friends, Romans, readers, authors, and fellow countrypeeps!
Lend us your ears! Cuz we have an important announcement:
We’ll re-open the queue as soon as we get caught up and catch our breath. Depends on how fast we can dig our way out from under the Mount Everest of pending reviews that are still awaiting our attention.
So kindly note that we aren’t accepting any new book review requests until we get a handle on this shovel thing. Like maybe August-ish.
We’ll still be publishing reviews and other strokes of genius on a regular basis. We’re just not accepting any new book review requests until further notice.
Thanks and see ya soon!
XXOO
Mom and Kimber the Magnificent
Her Crankiness is at again. Being all cranky. Refusing to share her chocolate. Again. (That’s actually a good thing if you’re a dog like me. We don’t do chocolate. It’s toxic for us dogs.)
Anyway, She Who Must Be Obeyed has an important announcement. It’s for authors. Author wannabes. Publicists. Blog tour coordinators. Publishers. Pretty much anyone who contacts us for a review.
If you’re one of the above, kindly pay attention. Cuz this is for you. And we’re not gonna repeat ourselves, savvy? So I’d listen up ‘fize you. Here goes:
‘What peanut butter?’
Never can keep those two straight. But Her Momness says one of those phrases works for an announcement type thingy. So I thought I’d letcha know that we’re kicking off this new year thingy with an announcement. Ready? Good. Here goes:
I know. I’m GORGEOUS!
Mom and I wanted to take a moment to thank you, our wonderful readers! You make it all worthwhile.
A special Homogonous, Splendiferous, Stupendous and Magniferous THANK YOU to those who take the time to like and comment on our posts. That just warms our furry little hearts. Cuz you’re like, Totally PAWsome.Â
Thanks again. Don’t be a stranger!
Yea, verily. It takes a lot of work and a lot of time to run a bark-worthy book blog like Pages and Paws. Not that we’re complaining, mind you. Cuz we get to meet some of the coolest, most talented and bacon-loving peeps on the planet.
‘You gonna eat that?’
Every once in awhile we even get fur-prised. Well, one of us does. (Hi, Mom.) Like when some four-legged friends not only take the time to actually read and follow our Submission Guidelines, but also enlist the aid of their human authoroo to write a review request. Like the one we recently received from my new BFFs, Moose and Mae Bell. It delish! In fact, this is the New Bacon Standard of Official Review Requests for Mom and Kimber.
Moose and Mae Bell’s review request was so yummy, in fact, Mom says I can share it with you. In case you’re short on inspiration. Or bacon. Cuz this is just Too. Good. Ready? Great! Here goes:
If you’re reading this post, it’s probably because you’re a brilliant author looking for a Seriously Pawsome book review team to read and review your latest magnum opus.
Great! You’ve come to the right place!
But there are some things you should know before requesting a review. That’s what’s this post is for. Here’s the 4-1-1:
That being said, kindly note that we accept less than half of the review requests that come our way. And please note our submission guidelines. You’d be surprised at how many people blow their review chances by not bothering to read our submission guidelines. Skip that step, Buttercup, and you’ve just increased the chances of a rejection by a factor of ten. Maybe more.
Cuz guess what? When it comes to our submission guidelines, we’re sticklers. And we always know who has and hasn’t read our submission guidelines. Always. So don’t even go there on the latter, okay?
At least it’s a happy Tuesday for some of us. Others who shall remain nameless are sulking (Hi, Mom!). Lemme explain.
Her Crankiness (hi again, Mom) is miff-ified at authors who waste her time by not adhering to and/or ignoring our submission guidelines or following through on their commitments when they request a review.
Case in point.
Awhile back Mom got a review request for a “historical fiction” book “because many people turn to independent reviewers for realistic recommendations on what to read. Considering the current social, economic, and political climate, not only are readers looking for something new and different, many are wondering about young America’s beginnings as a nation. A Healing Touch speaks to this interest.”
We enjoy historical fiction. So we decided to dive in. Only to find out that “historical fiction” is a mighty big stretch for this thing.
Isn’t it fun to toot someone else’s horn? I get to do that today! Cuz I’m braggin’ on Mom! (Do you think I’ll get some extra bacon outta this? Hmmm…)
Kimber, chicken bus driver wannabe.
You didn’t think Mom does book reviews just for this blog, did you? Naw! Mom loves books so much, she does reviews all over the place, including this outfit called Book Sirens.
If you hop on to Book Sirens, you’ll find us under PagesAndPaws. Looking all magnificent and everything. (At least one of us, anyway.)
Pages & Paws 