‘Turnin’ tail’ for a bit…
Kimber here. Lemme explain. Cuz Mom is going a little crazy. Well. Crazier than usual. But it’s a good kind of crazy. The smiley kind, if ya know what I mean.
We love getting your book review requests. But we’re kinda drowning. As in, we just can’t keep up! That’s why we’re going to have to put a “paws” on new submissions for the time being.
If you’ve been reviewing books for anything length of time – say, 20 minutes or so – you know that not all “book review” sites are created equal. Some are professional. Others are a joke. Full of unresolved kinks, oopses, ouchies, and amateurs. So how do you tell the difference? What are the worst book review sites on the web?
Based on my experience and what I hear from other quality reviewers, two sites stand out (stand down?) as The Worst: the OnlineBookClub and Reedsy/Discovery.
Her Crankiness is at it again. That scrunchy face eye roll thing.
“Good grief!” Mom flounces. “Not again!” (“Flounces.” Isn’t that a great word? No idea what it means. But Mom likes it. So I do too.)
Now what? says I, Kimber the Magnificent. You know. The level-headed one. All even-keeled and imperturbable. (No idea what that means either. But it sounds good, huh? Can I eat it?)
Well. Gonna cut to the chase here. Save you some time. As in:
Can you hear us in the back?
Kimber here. Being all Beautiful and Brilliant. As usual. Her Grumpiness is also here today. Being all grumpy and geezerly. As usual. Seems today’s Grumpifying has to do with review requests. Cuz we’ve been getting a lot of stuff that’s straight out of Gag Me With Arugula. I guess we better clarify.
“Kimmi,” says The Big Grump. “We better clarify.”
Didn’t I just say that?
Well. If you’re wondering why your review request wound up in the Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky, listen up. It could be due to a metric meow’s worth of reasons. But if you want to increase your chances of getting your review request accepted (no promises and no guarantees), here’s what NOT to do. (Can you hear us in the back?)
You know it’s a lotta work doing a book thingy blog, right? Maybe not as much work as grilling up a nice, thick burger all juicy and sizzling and…
Wait. Where was I?
Oh yeah. Book blogging.
Well. Some intrepid soul recently asked why we do book blogging? After all, it’s a ton of work. For free. (“Intrepid.” Isn’t that a great word? No idea what it means. But Her Momness likes it. So I do, too.)
So, Mom and Me? We put face and fur together on that one to round up a response. You know. Something other than, “Chocolate!” (For one of us.) Or, “We’re World Class Bibliophiles and can’t help it!” But really. The main reason we run this blog comes down to one word:
Hello Friends!
Kimber the Magnificent here to tell you something you probably already know (if you don’t, you should):
MOM IS SERIOUSLY PAWSOME!!
She not only cooks a mean T-bone steak that’s all luscious, delicious and flavorful, mouth-watering and juicy and…
Wait. Where was I?
Oh yeah. Mom. Seriously PAWsome. As in, Bibliophile Extraordinaire and World Class Reader. Like this:
You read that right: Mom and I read 403 books in 2022. (Well, it was mostly me. But Mom chipped in. A little.)
It’s a New Personal Reading Record for most books in one year. And nope, we didn’t review every book. Cuz that’s just silly.
I’d let Mom tell ya more. ‘Cept she’s snoozing. For obvious reasons. I ‘spect she’ll wake up around spring. Or maybe later.
You gonna eat that? Askin’ for a friend.
What are your eating… I mean, reading goals for 2023?
Kimber here, being all Brilliant and Beautiful. Again. (It’s a tough job. But someone’s gotta do it!)
I’m letting you know that Her Momness – aka: ‘Ole Bleary Eyes – would send Christmas greetings herself. But she’s just settled her brains for a long winter’s nap.
“Why is Mom napping during The Most Wonderful Time of the Year?!” you ask. Good question.
Short answer: Her Momness just scored Top Reviewer Honors at Reedsy/Discovery. She also bested her Goodreads Reading Challenge for 2022. By 170%. How does that Goodreads thing look? Well, like this:
Mom’s reading goal for 2022 was 200 books. She just finished Book #341. In one year, January – today. And she’s still goin’ strong! I am not making this up. See?
Then there’s this Reedsy/Discovery thingy. Her Momness wears the crown for a Top Reviewer in November. See again: Continue reading
Pssst! Kimber here. Being all magnificent and everything. Telling you that today, one of my favorite people turns 100 years old! What? Well, okay. Maybe not One. Hundred. Maybe just “older than dirt.”
Anyway, I thought I’d mark this auspicious occasion by sharing a post by Her Momness from 2014. You know. About 100 years ago. Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah. The post is called “Like Coming Home.” It’s about growing up as a voracious reader and book lover.
You don’t want to miss this. Cuz it’s really, really good. (Maybe not as a good as a nice, thick T-bone steak. Nobody’s perfect.)
Anyway, it goes like this:
Kimber: Her Grumpiness is about to Make An Announcement. Something about reviews and author interviews. And how NOT to get on her grumpy side. So it’s all paws on deck, okay?
Okay, Her Grumpiness. All present and accounted for. (I’d listen up ‘fize you.)
Mom: Thanks, Kimber. Let’s get right to it. Recent submissions indicate we need to provide additional clarification on two basics:
1. How to Get a Negative Review in Three Easy Steps.
2. Author Interviews. Aka: What’ll get your interview a one-way ticket to the Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky. (So don’t go there, okay?)
Do you do Summer Reading Programs? Mom used to. She’s been kinda straddlin’ the fence on SRPs since about 2018. Why? Cuz she set a personal record for books read that summer: 156 books. From June 1 to August 31. No. really. Click here for more.
She hasn’t jumped into an SRP full-bore since. “Cuz Kimmi, how in the world am I gonna top 156 books in three months?”
Well. You know Her Momness. I bribed her with chocolate.
So. Did Mom set a new personal record for Summer Reading?
Well, not quite. We tried. Really. And we got close.
But there was so much other stuff goin’ on this summer, if ya know what I mean. (And yes, I totally aced that semi-annual check-up at the vet’s. Thanks for askin.’)
Including audio books and read-alouds, Mom read 139 books this summer. It’s not 156+. But not bad, eh? (Apparently, some people will do almost anything for a Triple Chocolate Meltdown a la mode.)
You can find some of Mom’s summer favorites at 6 Best Reads of Summer.
I’d let Mom tell you more herself. But she’s snoozing right now. Or “resting up.” Or something.
Mom hasn’t tackled a Goodreads Reading Challenge since shortly after the Ark made landfall. The last one she did was in 2018: 383 books. In one year. She says, “No way can I do that again, Kimster. Not even close.”
But I’m scouting up new supplies of chocolate. Just don’t tell Mom yet, okay?
You gonna eat that?
Pages & Paws 