Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie


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‘Still My Mom’: A Heartfelt Memoir on Alzheimer’s, Family Ties, and Unending Love

Still My Mom

Alzheimer’s Love, Loss, and the Work We Do Before Goodbye

By Mike Baker (Indie author, 2026)

Genre: Non-fiction

Via: Author request

Pages (Print): 272, including an extensive list of relevant Resources and poem, The Love It Couldn’t Take

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

Some goodbyes take years. Love keeps showing up anyway.

When Mike Baker’s mom was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, his family entered a goodbye they were not ready for. The disease reached for her memory, her words, her confidence, and the ordinary rhythm of the life she had built. It also reached everyone who loved her.

Still My Mom is a raw, tender, and honest memoir about loving someone through Alzheimer’s. It is about grief that arrives before death, the strange ache of missing someone who is still here, and the work families do when the person they love begins to change.

Written with warmth, faith, humor, and deep affection, this book speaks to the families living in the long goodbye. It holds space for the hard parts of Alzheimer’s and dementia: the confusion, the guilt, the exhaustion, the grief, and the ache of wanting more time. It also honors the small moments that remain: a laugh, a look, a familiar touch, a story, a memory held by someone else when the person you love no longer holds it the same way.

This book is for families walking the Alzheimer’s road, caregivers carrying quiet grief, sons and daughters trying to show up, spouses learning a new version of love, and anyone who still has love to give before goodbye.

Perhaps the first thing you need to know about this book is that at its core, it’s a love letter. Still My Mom evokes intimacy, tenderness, and the bittersweet nature of the work done in the face of Alzheimer’s. It’s real and it’s raw. It pulls no punches about the realities of this devastating disease and how it effects friends and family members. Pages reflect grief and loss as well as hope, gratitude, and a quiet strength and grace.

The author describes this memoir as “A caregiving book written by someone who was doing the caregiving, not studying it. No clinical framework, no stages, no advice about self-care.” He’s spot-on. And that matters. Because Still My Mom isn’t a medical journal. It isn’t a clinical list of, “When you see this, do that.” It doesn’t walk you through labyrinthian mazes of “doctor-ese” – although it does note how skillful, truthful, and compassionate communication with healthcare professionals makes a difference. It’s highly readable, briskly paced, and written in clear language that’s easy to understand.

The text is divided into five main sections: Part One: Before the Disease Gets the Story. Part Two: The Work While There Is Still Time. Part Three: Caregiving Changes Everything. Part Four: The Hard End-of-Life Work. Part Five: After Goodbye. Also included is a Note to the Reader, a How to Use This Book section and a Bonus Chapter: The Work to Do Before the Mind Is Gone. (Dont miss this.) We appreciated the emphasis on caring for the caregiver and the warm family tone (“G’night John-Boy”).

The formatting is a little odd, with ragged right margins instead of full justified. Paragraphs appear in blocks and aren’t indented. But this doesn’t diminish the narrative, which unfolds smoothly and naturally.

Packed with practical advice and insight from someone who’s been there, each section and chapter is honest and forthright. But they also give you room to breathe. To be kind to yourself and your loved one. That matters, too. More on that in a min.

Frankly, we had a hard time with this book. It’s not an easy read. It’s not meant to be. So we could only handle a few pages at a time. (Kimber: That’s pretty unusual around here, bub. It’s almost like me eating a nice, thick juicy flank steak one bite at a time.)

This book is intense. It’s emotional. Incredibly thorough. Exceptionally well organized. Heartfelt. Eloquent and articulate. Beautifully written. Searingly honest and authentic. But there were times when we had to put it down. Walk away. Take some deep breaths.

And you know what? That’s okay. In fact, the author acknowledges that that’s okay.

Yea, verily. Alzheimer’s isn’t an easy subject. And Still My Mom isn’t a coffee table type book of the light and fluffy, lemon meringue variety. It’s heavy. But it also offers a way through the fog of initial diagnosis to final days. It counters fear, panic, confusion and uncertainty with clear, easy-to-understand language. Suggestions. Examples. It opens a way forward. Suggests a road through. And most of all, it offers a gentle breath of kindness and understanding with the constant reassurance of one vital, over-arching message: Alzheimer’s is tough. But you are not alone in the battle.

So again, Still My Mom isn’t an easy read. But it’s a good one, a garden where every sentence blooms with love. Indeed, the tenderness in these pages clings like sunlight to morning dew, refusing to let go even as the temperature climbs.

Bonus points: Every chapter wraps up with a Before the Next Hard Day section. This offers some concrete ideas for steps to take when a loved one is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.

Carrying love forward from page one to the very end, Still My Mom had one of us reaching for tissue more than once. (Kimber: I’m advising Mom to buy stock in Kleenex. Not that she ever listens to me. But you never know.)

Finally, if love could shine through ink, the pages of Still My Mom would glow.

Our Rating: 4.5


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‘There She Stands’: A 9/11 Reflection

We interrupt our regularly scheduling blogging to bring you this 9/11 reflection, starting with a bookish quote:

***

Where do we get such men (and women)? They leave this ship and they do their job. Then they must find this speck lost somewhere on the sea. When they find it, they have to land on its pitching deck. Where do we get such men?

– RAdm Tarrant, The Bridges at Toko-Ri

September 11, 2011. It began like pretty much like every other Indian Summer day in southern California. In other words, it was perfect –  until two airliners tore into the Twin Towers.

And America has never been the same.

Amid the shock, confusion and grief, one of the things that stood out on that terrible, tragic day was the quiet. Southern California skies usually hum with air traffic of all shapes of sizes, everything from thundering commercial flights to lumbering military cargo planes to the mosquito whine of light aircraft. It was all gone on September 11, 2001, when the FAA ordered all flights grounded. The result? A suffocating silence, terrible in its unnatural eeriness.

25 Years 

Twenty-five years later, this event and those responsible are household words. Oceans of ink have been spilled and scores of song, words and commentary have been filed on the subject of 9/11. Documentaries have been produced. Testimonials shared. Solemn memorials observed. Songs written. And we remember.

There she waves, faithful friend…

Many Americans set September 11 aside as a “day of infamy” – and something else. We mourn the lives lost. But we also remember the heroes. And in remembering,  we honor the sacrifices of first responders – law enforcement, firefighters, EMS, and scores of “ordinary” Americans who were anything but. We saw countless Americans  go above and beyond the call of duty to protect and serve others.

Just when you think it might be over
Just when you think the fight is gone
Someone will risk his life to raise her
There she stands…

Remember the days that followed? The fund-raisers? The Red Cross blood drives? Prayer services? An entire country awash in a sea of stars and stripes?

We’ve seen her flying torn and tattered
We’ve seen her stand the test of time
And through it all the fools have fallen
There she stands.

It’s been 25 years. But the events of that ‘Indian Summer’ day in September still reverberate. They aren’t quiet. They touched a chord.  For those who looked, the immediate aftermath of 9/11 showed America at her best: Generous. Selfless. Resourceful. Resilient and resolute. United. Uncowed.

The Bridges at Toko-Ri is set during the Korean War. But RAdm Tarrant’s question lives.

Where do we get such men and women?  From Iowa farms and Texas ranches.  From New England fishing fleets to Silicon Valley. From Wall Street to Bourbon Street. From Kentucky blue grass to Florida Everglades. From Arizona deserts to Hawaiian rain forests. From Kansas wheat fields to Alaskan oil fields. Indeed, if we know where to look, we see answers to the admiral’s question every day: We get them from America.

By the dawn’s, early light
And through the fight. She stands.

Note: Portions of this post first appeared here in 2014.


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12 Most Memorable Reads of Summer

‘I know they’re here somewhere. Hmmm…’

Woof! It’s your favorite literary canine here. Ready to chew on some most memorable summer reads. Well, okay. Not “summer,” strictly speaking. Roughly May thru August-ish. But let’s not get picky here, okay?

Anywho, whether you love stories with a strong pack mentality, thrilling chases, exotic settings or intriguing historical fiction, you can count on me, Kimber the Magnificent, for some barkworthy recs. Some of these titles are kind of obscure. Some we liked more than others. A couple surprised us. But all are memorable in their own write, right? By “memorable” we mean they linger after the final page. Roam around in your head for awhile. Kind of like extra crispy bacon…. What?

Anywho, we read close to 100 books this summer. I’ve dug up some of the most barkworthy. Let’s dig in!

Here, in no particular order, are some of our favorite/most memorable reads from “summer”:

  1. The Hidden Life of Otto Frank – Carol Ann Lee. Non-fiction.
  2. Beyond the High White Wall – Nancy Pitt. Historical Fiction.
  3. Saved By Her Enemy: An Iraqi Woman’s Journey From the Heart of War to the Heartland of America – Don Teague and Rafraf Barrak. Non-fiction.
  4. So You Want To Be a Veterinarian – Linda Soules. Children’s Non-fiction.
  5. Simple Genius – David Baldacci. Thriller/Suspense.
  6. Between Sisters – Kristin Hannah. Fiction.
  7. 13 Hours: The Inside Account of What Really Happened in Benghazi – Mitchell Zuckoff. Non-fiction.
  8. The Rum Runner: The Legend of Captain John Stewart – Doralynn Kennedy. Gothic mystery.
  9. Hearts of Fire: Eight Women in the Underground Church and Their Stories of Costly faith – The Voice of the Martyrs. Non-fiction.
  10. Corvus – Shallen Ann Chitwood. Middle grade fantasy.
  11. Redeeming Rhubarb – Bob Richley. YA/Fiction.
  12. The Help – Kathryn Stockett. – Historical Fiction.

Can’t wait to see what book awesomeness The Ole Curmudgeon will dig up this fall! You never know. Stay tuned!

P.S.: We’ll be updating The Naughty List soon. Aka: The Kitty Litter Hall of Shame. As in, Making a list. Checking it twice. Gonna find out which authors failed to adhere to our Submission Guidelines and have subsequently had our reviews of their books removed. Don’t think we don’t notice who does and does not Like, Share, and Comment on a positive review of 3.0 or more per our requirements. We do. And we keep a list. That you really don’t want to be on.

Gonna find out who’s naughty or nice...


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5 Tips for Writing a Literary Disaster

Kimber here. Ready to show you how to churn out an absolute literary disaster sure to tank like the Titanic. Cuz we’ve plowed through quite a few lately. And since The ‘Ole Curmudgeon and I like to be helpful, we thought we’d offer the ultimate, failsafe blueprint for writing a spectacularly unreadable book that’ll get you a one-way ticket to the Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky. In a heartbeat.

Pro tip: I’d listen up ‘fize you, bub. So you can save us both some time in the Requesting and Reviewing Departments.

Cuz writing an awful book isn’t just about throwing random capitalization and “meow” on a page. It takes true, unhinged dedication! So here’s your step-by-step guide to crafting a book so unreadable, it’s practically a work of art:

1. Dont “Poof” Reed Anything. Evur.

Those gkaring typose, punkuashun errors and grammur oopses that jumpp off the paje and smackk a revueer in the fase? Trust me, no one will notise.

2. Master the Monotone.

Never, ever use metaphors that make sense. Instead, describe everything in terms of odors and floor surfaces. Your narrator should obsessively track the “smelly metal box with the red circles” (a toaster) for four whole chapters. If a plot point gets too tense, derail it and obsess over a box of jelly-filled donuts left on the counter unattended.

3. Unleash the “Word Vomit” Vocabulary.

Why use one adjective when you can use twenty-six instead? Variation on a theme: Create a main character who sounds like a Shakespearean scholar in need of a nap. Additional variation: Constantly alternate between philosophical musings about the meaning of life and tomorrow’s trash pick-up. Keep the vocabulary aggressively basic, but throw in words like apricate and velleity that no one uses and no one cares about.

4. Toss Logic Out the Window.

If you really want to frustrate your reader/reviewer, toss all biological and logical reality out the window. Replace the laws of physics with a TikTok dance challenge on page 42. Write dialogue like you’re herding quantum particles through a salad bar. Unplug the GPS of the cosmos and start navigating by glitter. Or have your main character tackle a high adrenaline mountain, then break the tension by having him get confused by his own reflection for nine pages.

5. Over-Explain Everything.

Instead of showing your readers what’s going on in your story, tell them about it. And tell them. And tell them. And tell them some more. If that doesn’t work, keep telling until they drift off to Neverland.

Don’t forget to treat your readers like they’re a bunch of preschoolers who can’t figure out theme, motivation, or conflict without beating them over the head with it. For good measure, make sure you also tell them what to think and how to react instead of letting them decide for themselves. So feel free to paint over their imaginations and intelligence with your own brush.

Next, be sure to declare the protagonist’s intentions every three paragraphs. Just in case anyone forgot. Make the tone so deeply mawkish and maudlin it’s cringeworthy.

Does your manuscript hit all of the above? Great! Then send it in. But don’t be surprised if it capsizes our review boat. Or another box of kitty litter. And those author emails griping about a negative review? Want some cheese with that whine?

Are we clear here? Inquiring curmudgeons want to know.

Kimber the Magnificent. In the driver’s seat.


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A Throne, a Prophecy, and a Twist We Didn’t See Coming

The Promised Queen

By Matthew Toss (Christian Faith Publishing, 2026)

Genre: Fiction/Fantasy

Pages (print): 381

Via: Author request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

A young girl sets out with her faithful bud to fulfill a prophecy and become the…

Kimber: Oh, wait. One of us is getting a wee bit ahead of herself. (Insert eye roll here). Cuz. You know Mom. So, let’s back up a bit for a bird’s eye view of this highly readable and eminently engaging novel by Matthew Toss.

Ready? Set? Let’s go!

The 4-1-1:

Who is the real queen of Anam?

Young Liberty dreams of a ship. (Kimber: I’m seeing The Dawn Treader. What?) High-spirited and adventurous, Liberty is the polar opposite of her quiet, demure twin sister, Eslanda. The girls will turn thirteen during the annual Harvest Festival and choose an “apprenticeship.” Let’s just say Liberty isn’t exactly turning handsprings at the prospect.

Liberty’s best friend is Cayden. The two kiddos slip into the country of Anam a week before the Festival – an event that will crown Anam’s long-lost princess. But the Viceroy, who has managed the nation through the interregnum, sets a perilous scheme in motion. He dispatches a bounty hunter on a desperate, near-impossible mission to fracture the transition of power before it can begin.

“May the winds of fortune blow you, the depths below not know you, never a tavern throw you, and true love a lass to show you.”

As Liberty and Cayden travel deeper into Anam, they cross paths with vibrant, magnetic figures who leap off the page, each with their own secrets and stakes. Their journeys drive them toward a volatile, unprecedented reckoning – one no one is ready to face, and from which the nation may never return unchanged.

And what’s up with all the fires in Trapper’s Woods?

We like, Totally Love-ified this book. It moves like greased lightning, with characters that practically jump off the page and land in your lap.  The epic sweep of The Promised Queen reminds us of Middle Earth. There’s even a battle scene reminiscent of Minas Tirith. Along with plenty of action and a boatload (literally) of adventure, there’s also plenty of fantastical creatures like kelpies and nixies and hippocerfs, oh my! It’s a little Narnia. A little Neverland. A little The Once and Future King. (Or in this case, queen.) With a dash of The Great Divorce.

“The history of Anam is not always one of peacetime. Surely you have learned the terrible stories over the years of the wars against magical creatures, the reign of the western giants, and even the king who went mad.”

Characters

Besides Liberty and Cayden, main characters include Archbishop Langthorne, Lorcan, captain of the guard, and Doran the bounty hunter. Fiadh. Captain Fox. Cordanyth, Guardian of Ancient Wisdom.  Much more! All so lively and quick, we knew in a moment they must be… oh, wait. Wrong story. Where were we?

“I have never sensed a war that didn’t come, nor have I sensed a war whose outcome I did not see. Until today. The future is obscure, hidden behind a veil.”

Oh yeah again. This book is a delightful read. It grabbed us in chapter one and reeled us in like a fish on a line. Saturated with intrigue, mystery, and adventure, the plot unfolds like a kaleidoscope, each shift revealing a new facet of the story as you join our dynamic duo on the adventure of a lifetime. Additionally, the author’s world-building skills are top-notch. The language is as lilting and lyrical as bird song, each word a note in a tune that lingers in the air and makes you want to hear more. A triumph from the start, this exceptionally well-written debut novel restored our faith in indie authors. It made one of us want to stand up and cheer.

“These people are my family. I plan to fight for my family.”

Brimming with wit, wisdom, and whimsy, The Promised Queen is as satisfying as a warm slice of chocolate cake, fresh from the oven. Drenched in chocolate fudge sauce and a nice big dollop of vanilla ice cream. With a banana split chaser. Kimber: Don’t forget a perfectly cooked filet mignon with a side of crispy bacon the size of Alaska.

Mom: You eat what you want and I’ll eat what I want, okay?

Wait. Is that Camelot? Where once it never rained till after sundown….

Our Rating: 4.0


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Understanding Homer’s Epic Without the Homework Headache in ‘The Odyssey Decoded’

The Odyssey Decoded: A 70-Page Step by Step Guide to Understanding Homer’s Epic

By Adrian Solas

Genre: Entertainment

Pages (Print) 86

Via: Reedsy

Kimber: Okay, Mom. So this Odd Guy? The one who’s running around all over the Med trying to get home? What’s up with that?

Mom: It’s Odysseus, dear heart.

Kimber: Oh-whoz-ee-us?

Mom: Odysseus. You know. The guy in Homer’s The Odyssey.

Kimber: Who’s what-a-see?

Know that deer in the headlights look? That’s probably the response you’ll get if you ask most peeps what The Odyssey is about. A handful might say something like it’s a tale of a war hero coming home after a long war. If that doesn’t float your boat, don’t worry. Because The Odyssey Decoded suggests that this ancient classic may be about something else.

This thoughtful and highly readable work shows us why The Odyssey is about more than an epic journey and how it has something to say to today’s readers. Kimber: Yeah, you, Tootsie. You don’t even have to stock up on Dramamine. O happy day!

First off, note that The Odyssey Decoded isn’t meant to replace Homer’s original work. It’s intended to serve as an introduction, a companion, and a fresh perspective on “one of the most influential stories ever told.”

It succeeds. In spades. 

The book opens with one of the greatest tragedies in history: the burning of the Library of Alexandria and the consequent, incalculable loss of ancient thought and writing. It then takes us back to the origins of The Odyssey as an oral tradition and then to the poet Homer. The Odyssey Decoded then poses two key questions that propel the balance of this intriguing and highly engaging book: 1) What does the myth really tell us?, and 2) Why is The Odyssey one of the most studied books in human history?

Those familiar with Homer’s tale will recognize the principals in this book. Odysseus. Penelope. Telemachus. Calypso. Athena. Poseidon. Circe, Ino, and so on. So, the book has a familiar feel to it. The basic story is told in Episodes like a docudrama. An Episode refreshes our memory about a portion of the story. Then, under Decoding, the text explores what happened in the segment indicated and why. 

Decoding includes The Pride of the Victor, The Price of Survival, The Warning from the Dead, The Call of the Impossible, and true victory (it’s probably not what you think.) Themes and settings are also explored, including the Trojan War and years of combat and conflict and the toll they take. There’s also Odysseus’s faithful hound, Argos. Revenge. Correcting hubris. Miasma. (I’d almost forgotten about Argos.)

Analytical without being didactic, The Odyssey Decoded shows us that the original tale is about much more than an epic journey and maritime adventures. It shows us how Odysseus’s journey can be read as a trial and how said trial is part of a long process that brings Odysseus back to his human condition. We realize how Odysseus is slowly transformed from the triumphant conqueror of Troy to a weary traveler who just wants to go home. And how that transformation can apply to any reader, across any century and culture. It’s brilliant.

Also discussed is what Odysseus embodies and what Penelope symbolizes as well as the key role of Telemachus. So The Odyssey is not just the story of a man returning home after a long war. It’s a guide to human experience. Indeed, Odysseus’ story shows us how a human being becomes a whole individual. It’s one reason why this work has resonated over millennia and continues to be read and studied widely.

Don’t miss the Conclusion: The Last Secret of the Odyssey. And that’s all I’m going to say about that. The final chapter, For the Road, includes some key recaps. An illustrated companion map of Odysseus’s route through the Mediterranean is included. 

So if the words “Homer” or “Odysseus” make you want to jump up and run screaming from the room or reach for the nearest bottle of No Doze, just wait a minute. Think again. The Odyssey Decoded is a worthwhile read. And no, it is not a dry and brittle rehash of the original tale. Nor is it a classroom lecture that’s as arid as the Atacama Desert. It’s entertaining, informative, and inspiring. Bursting with vitality, energy, and insight. In fact, the writing style is as fresh as green grass after a spring rain.

Finally, it’s been years since we read The Odyssey. The Odyssey Decoded inspired one of us to dig up her copy and read it with a fresh perspective. The other – the four-footed one – is out scouting another New York steak. Go figure.

.

Pages & Paws Rating

Our Rating: 3.5


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The Disjointed Adventures of Bo (Good Luck Following Along)

The Mother, the Daughter, and the Ghost

By Patrick Trumpy (Indie author, 2026)

Genre: Who knows?

Pages (Print): 266)

Via: Author request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

Well. That’s a coupla days out of our lives we’ll never be able to get back. And to think we coulda been watching a test pattern.

That’s about the size of it in this sarcastic, sardonic debut novel by Patrick Trumpy. Think Lemony Snickett’s Baudelaire orphans meet Eeyore and Sister Bertrille.  With a dash of A Confederacy of Dunces. It may be “darkly humorous” for the first few chapters. But eighteen-year-old Bo’s flippant, glib demeanor and her insufferably sardonic commentary get old after about 6,898 curtain calls. We bailed out at Chapter 14. So, we won’t be rating this book. Here’s why (the short version):

Told in the first person from Bo’s POV, reading The Mother is like finding a beautifully wrapped gift in the mail. You open it to find a tax audit.

“The Mother” may be a reference to Bo’s own estranged mother. Escaping that mum, Bo bolts from her familial home. Jumps in a taxi and shouts to the driver, “This is the way!” (We kept hearing The Mandalorian.) Arriving at a convent, Bo meets another “mother,” whip-wielding Mother Madeline. Or Mother Superior. Bo soon finds herself ensconced in a convent with a group of geriatric nuns who mistake Bo’s arrival as the fulfillment of a prophecy… or… something. She becomes “Bo, the Reluctant Radiant.” Aka: Hermitess of the Rocks.

Here – and pretty much everywhere – Bo spouts impossible lines like, “Do you behest my company in the tillage, or may I scamper off to contemplate?” And, “Your reverent solemness for my holy coronation is uncharacteristically considerate” (to her biological mom when Bo joins the novitiate).

It’s enough to make your hair ache.

Her companion, the ghost, is an unstable partner and certain temptations of urban life beckon.

Meanwhile, the plot moves with the alacrity of a three-toed sloth. On crutches. It’s like, Oh hi, Bo. What nonsense are you spouting today?

Reading this book is like trying to teach a pig to sing. It can’t be done and it annoys the pig.

It’s like the story’s auditioning for a soap opera and forgot to stop. The only thing missing is a PhD in overwriting. Kimber: Is this a book or a canned laugh track for a 1970s sitcom?

We bailed out after about 70 pages or so. Could not force ourselves to turn another page. I mean, really. A mocking, satirical main character who treats the world like it’s an imposition on her coffee break? A self-described animal hater? Kimber: Lost us there, Babe. Never to return.

Here’s the deal. The writing in this book is actually quite good. But we kept seeing Martin Short’s Ed Grimley every time Bo opened her mouth. So it just didn’t flip our pancake. But then, we’re kinda picky about our batter. And our tablemates.

Bottom Line

We simply do not have time for books that don’t grab us. That we don’t enjoy. That try too hard. This checks all those boxes. Besides. We’d rather read something that actually made us want to keep going. This ain’t it. So sayonara, baby!


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Treat Yo’ Shelves: Yes, We Review Indie Books!

Okay, hoomans. Let’s be honest. That internet thingy is flooded with books. Some are what Mom calls “masterpieces.” (No idea what that means. But Mom likes it. So I do, too.) Some are… let’s call them “Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky” candidates. And some of the worst books we’ve read in the last six months are by indie authors. We’re talking cringeworthy. But we’ve also found some hidden gems by indie authors that we loved.

‘Ahoy mateys!’

So. Speaking of “hidden gems” – sort of – The ‘Ole Curmudgeon and I thought now’s a good time to review what we review. (Kimber: It’s mostly my brilliant idea. TOC helped. A little.) Like this:

We read, review, and occasionally rant about books and book love. That includes well-written books by indie authors.

Here’s the deal:
We love indie authors. You are brave. You are fast. You think outside the litter box.

You don’t have to wait three years for a partridge in a pear tree and a publishing house to tell you that your story matters. But we’re not your mom, Sugar. Like, we don’t give five star ratings just cuz you sent us a polite DM. (Kimber: Altho extra bacon never hurts. What?)

Now we’re talkin’!

What We Do:

  • Real Reviews: If your plot twist makes us stand up and cheer or chuckle and snort root beer out our nose, we’ll say so. If your dialogue sounds like an AI trying to write poetry or serve up wilted arugula, we’ll say that, too.
  • Honest Takes: We believe indie authors need real feedback to grow, not just toxic positivity from bots.
  • Spotlight Hidden Gems: If we love your book, we will scream about it from the rooftops (or the dog house).

Indie Authors, Come and Get It:

So if you think your book can handle a thoughtful, blunt, woof-worthy review, lend us your ears. Oh, wait. Wrong reference. (Silly Mom!) If you think your book is well-written, coherent, and has something to say worth listening to, send us your ARC (preferrably hard copy after reading our Submission Guidelines). Examples:

  • Clean romance with NO Alaska-sized plot-holes? Send it.
  • Fantasy with better world-building than the actual world? We’re in!
  • Historical fiction that stands up and walks? Yes, please.
  • Faith-flavored fiction or inspiring memoir that’s better than a second bowl of cookies and cream ice cream? Let’s grab another spoon. (Wait. Better than ice cream??? Let’s not get crazy here, okay?)

Be sure to read our Submission Guidelines first. That’s key. Cuz we’re like, picky. And we accept maybe half of the review requests that come our way.

Also note: Likes, Comments and Link Sharing are required for any book getting a positive review (3 stars or more). Failure to do do within three days of posting may result in removal of the post.

Warning: We DNF (Did Not Finish) with reckless abandon if the pacing is slower than our WiFi. As in, you’ve got about three to five chapters to reel us in. If we’re not hooked by then, chances are we’ll jump ship.

Got that, Cupcake? Good.

How to Submit

If you think your magnum opus can make the cut, send your review request to: kikero@juno.com. Subject line: Review request.

Let’s make the indie world a little more interesting, one honest sentence at a time. And don’t forget bacon!

Stay noisy,
Mom and Kimber the Magnificent


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How to Write a Biography For Someone Besides Your Aunt Mabel

Oh, we know. Your mom and dad led fascinating lives. Your grands were the bee’s knees. Your sibling, aunt, uncle, niece, nephew, 14th cousin six times removed deserve beatification. And you’re just itchin’ at the keyboard to tell the world about your wonderful relatives. So, you sit down and write their biography. You may spend weeks, months or even years in the endeavor. After all, who wouldn’t find the story of Aunt Bertha’s cure for root rot exciting? Or Great- Great Grandpa Elmer’s adventures in dryer lint collecting unputdownable?

Photo by James Collington on Pexels.com

Here’s the issue with a lot of biographies/memoirs we get for review: They’re like a slow drip from a leaky faucet — predictable, repetitive, and utterly uneventful. As captivating as a plate of overcooked rutabagas.

Yes, we know again. You find your relatives fascinating. Are convinced their life story is going to burst onto the literary scene faster than a speeding bullet. More powerful than a locomotive. But here’s the catch: If you’re writing for a general audience – someone other than family or close friends – that compelling life story you’re dying to tell the world? The world may just shrug its shoulders and go back to mindless scrolling. Or watching the next presidential debate. Which is pretty much the same thing.

If you want to craft a compelling biography that connects with someone besides your Aunt Mabel, it means thorough research, a clear narrative, and a story that resonates with a broader audience. Yeah, we know your Mum was a saint. But what’s the take-away for me? This is the question your average reader will ask. It’s pretty much the bottom line for an engaging biog. Connecting with the reader gives them a reason to keep turning pages. A recitation of life events that reads like Encyclopedia Britannica or a life chronology that’s as dry as a Kansas cornfield in August doesn’t cut it.

You wouldn’t believe how many biogs we get for review that don’t get this. They usually come from starry-eyed first-time authors who are so excited to get their magnum opus in print and Tell The World about their wonderful relative or friend, they forget to tell a story that someone who’s not a relative or friend will want to read. That kinda matters. Falling short of same, they seem genuinely surprised when we’re not turning cartwheels over a memoir or biog that’s as dull as a blunt spoon.

We’re just funny that way.

‘Aunt Mabel.’ Photo by Agustina R Street on Pexels.com

So here, at no extra charge, are some tips for writing a biography that someone besides your Aunt Mabel and Uncle Elmer will want to read:

Determine Your Purpose

First, ask yourself: Why am I writing this biography? How do I want readers to respond to this story? What’s their take-away?

Then choose a central theme to guide your narrative and keep it focused so it doesn’t wind up hopping down endless bunny trails or circling the irrelevancy drain. Do you want this story to convey leadership principles? Strength and courage in the midst of adversity? Keep it tight and keep it focused.

Research

This is probably the most crucial but non-glamorous part of the biog writing process. It could take months or years. But you need to get your facts together and get your facts straight. This is the backbone of your biography. A weak backbone makes for a weak story. The converse is also true.

So, martial your research skills and prepare to sally forth. Check out primary and secondary sources. This may include books, letters, journals, newspaper stories, and personal interviews. Fact check to ensure accuracy.

Organize

We get a lot of biographies that have solid stories but are hampered by structural deficiencies. That breathless first-time author thing. Avoid this common pitfall by selecting an appropriate structure for your story. Biographies are often told in chronological order. But thematic or event-driven structures may also be effective, depending on what key elements or takeaways you want to convey (see above).

A thoughtfully organized story will keep your readers engaged and the story will flow naturally. A throw-it-against-the-wall and see-if-it-sticks approach will have the opposite effect. (Trust me on this one. We’ve seen it way too many times.)

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Start With a Hook

Note: “Sarah Smith was born in 1902” isn’t a hook. It’s a yawner. A couple more sentences like that and you’ve likely lost the reader for good. Lead with a powerful anecdote, quote, or dramatic moment that sets the tone for the remainder of the story.  

Example 1: “They met in Tulsa. Dad was a ploughboy from western Oklahoma; Mom was a hometown girl. He was in the Army Air Corps, … and she had been first-prize winner in a jitterbug contest the year before. It was 1942: She was just turning eighteen, a high-school senior; and he was twenty-one. “- John Denver, Take Me Home.

Denver opens with a warm and concise portrait of his parents, evoking time, place, and personality. This sets the emotional tone for the balance of the book. Remember, you only have one chance to make a good first impression. Make it memorable. Make it inviting. Make readers want to know more.

Example 2: I was born into a year of famine. It was 1947, and Austria was occupied by the Allied armies that had defeated Hitler’s Third Reich. In May, two months before I was born, there were hunger riots in Vienna, and in Styria, the southeastern province where we lived, the food shortages were just as bad.” –Arnold Schwarzenegger, Total Recall: My Unbelievably True Life Story

Schwarzenegger immediately places the reader in the moment of his birth, against the backdrop of a nation rebuilding from war. It’s a powerful, dramatic opening for an autobiography about resilience, ambition, and transformation.

Pro tip: Test your opening line or paragraph by reading it out loud. How does it sound? Is the tone conversational or academic? Does it convey your theme right out of the gate? Does it captivate, or does it elicit snores?

Show, Don’t Tell

You want your subject to come across as a real life, three-dimensional person, not a cardboard cutout. You also want readers to be able to relate to your subject. So, include quotes, descriptions, dialogue, quirks, and any other personality traits that help readers connect. Show readers your subject rather than just telling them about same.

Use Storytelling

You’re writing a story, not a Wikipedia entry. Nobody wants to read a list-like account of someone’s life that’s as inspiring as stale kale. To create a compelling narrative, deploy storytelling elements like scene-setting, conflict, and resolution. Use lively prose. Keep the pacing brisk.

Photo by Seng Lam Ho on Pexels.com

Revise and Edit

Don’t forget this step. It’s hard work. It doesn’t exactly qualify as a four-alarm barn burner. But polishing your draft is vital. Engage beta readers to check for clarity and coherence. Hire or find a professional editor if at all possible. They’ll check for readability. Pacing. Redundancies. And a professional and engaging tone.

Publishing

Unless your intended audience is limited to Aunt Mabel & Co., consider professional printing and formatting. Nothing will leave a sour taste in a reviewer’s mouth faster than a sloppy, haphazard manuscript that presents like a troop of drunk monkeys rolled the presses after a banana bonanza.

Common Mistakes to Avoid

  • Info-dumping: Don’t overload readers with dry facts.
  • Hero-worshiping: Excessive praise makes relating to the subject difficult, if not impossible.
  • Skipping the hard stuff: Tension and conflict make for a compelling story.
  • Genealogical data-dumping. Resist the urge to trace the family history back to Noah. Newsflash: Nobody cares and it slows the narrative like molasses in winter. Stick with the basics. Hit some highlights. Then move on, bub.
  • Lack of theme: Your biography should have an over-arching theme that unifies and focuses the story—ambition, redemption, legacy, etc.

One Last Thing

If you are too close to the subject – say they’re a close relative or friend – consider engaging a ghost writer or a professional editor to assist with your book. Maybe both. Authors who write about a family member mean well. But they’re sometimes too emotionally invested in the subject to be able to write in a manner that will resonate with other readers and keep them turning pages. A professional editor or a professional biography writer can remain objective without compromising the emotional impact of the story.

Finally, writing a biography for someone besides your Aunt Mabel isn’t easy. But with time, attention, and focus per the above, the end result can be a compelling life story that not only informs but also captivates and leaves a lasting impression. And isn’t that the whole point?

Photo by Branden Stephenson on Pexels.com

Examples of Compelling Biographies:

42 Is Not Just a Number: The Odyssey of Jackie Robinson – by Doreen Rappaport. 

Leonardo Da Vinci – by Walter Isaacson

The Hidden Life of Otto Frank  – by Carol Ann Lee

Into the Wild – by Jon Krakauer

Unbroken: A World War II Story of Survival, Resilience, and Redemption – by Laura Hillenbrand


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5 Ways to Fight the Book Snooze Button Like a Boss

“The sandman beckoneth” yawned Her Royal Momness the other day. Perched atop her Royal Throne-eth. Battling to stay awake with a book so dense, it could moonlight as brick mortar.

So, what’s a body to do with a read so somnambulent, it’ll put No Doze out of business? We’ll get to that in a min, Sweet Stuff. First, let’s debunk a common myth about boring books. It goes like this:

I’m tired but reading will perk me up. Wrong. Plowing thru a dull-as-dirt book is like singing your brain to sleep. In print. So when reading starts feeling like a one-way ticket to dreamland, you need to bring out the heavy artillery. Here are 5 ways to fight the snooze button like a boss:

1. The Anti-Comfort Principle.

Get out of the bed. Reading in bed is where literary motivation goes to die. Instead, force your body into a posture that screams “I am a prisoner at the Hague.” Sit entirely upright in a wooden kitchen chair. Better yet, stand up. There is zero recorded instance of someone achieving REM sleep while standing on a cold hardwood floor. If you want to go the extra mile, embrace Quora’s absurd but undeniably effective suggestion: stand on your head to force blood flow to the brain. (Note: do not try this if you value your neck or your hair).

2. Turn Up the Light.

Is your “reading vibe” a soft, moody, low-lit lamp in the corner? Cute. But it’s a one-way ticket to Snoozeville. Switch to the brightest, most sterile “interrogation room” lighting you can find. If you’re reading a digital book, crank that screen brightness until it feels like you’re staring directly into the sun. (Accessories not included. Batteries sold separately.)

3. Engage Your Inner Drama Monarch.

If you just silently scan the text, your brain treats it as background noise. You need to make a scene! Read the text out loud. Do it with an aggressively dramatic, theatrical voice. Giving a dry textbook character a snooty British accent or a villainous pirate growl instantly makes 18th-century philosophy a thousand times better. So does reading next to the dog’s food dish. But we won’t be responsible for the consequences.

4. Bribe Yourself with Food.

If your stomach is empty, you’re sluggish. If you’re too full, you’re sluggish. The sweet spot? Slowly sipping or crunching on something. The physical act of chewing and swallowing keeps your jaw working and your eyes open. Just make sure it’s crunchy or sour enough to shock your system—milk and chocolate chip cookies will just put you right back to sleep. (Don’t ask how we know this.)

5. Weaponize Your Annotations.

Don’t just stare at the page like a passive zombie. Or the neighborhood fluff ball. Grab a highlighter or a pen and go to town. If you own the book, deface those pristine pages with aggressive notes, frustrated exclamations, or sarcastic critiques of the author’s writing style. When you force your hands to move, your brain is forced to process.

When all else fails? Just do what we do with an aggressively boring book. Put it back. Dump it. Drop kick it out the front door. Banish it from your TBR pile. Give it to the neighbor’s cat. Send it into exile until you’ve run out of Sominex.

And just start another book.