Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie

Category Archives: Just for fun


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How to Survive a ‘Beach Read’ With Your Furry Bestie

The Beach!

Ah, summer! Sun. Sand. The beach! Mom’s fave iced tea. Big ‘ole fluffy towel. Dark glasses. Floppy hat. That Russian novel she’s been threatening to finish since shortly after the discovery of fire. And snacks. Don’t forget snacks! And, really. How was I supposed to know a mini cooler is for cooling, not burying in the sand after running it all over the beach at Mach 4?

Next stop: China!

Well. That was yesterday’s beach adventure. Live and learn, eh? There was also: 

The Tail of the Towel. Aka: a giant, plush bullseye perfectly calibrated to absorb water right before I launch a full-body shake and douse Mom with enough salt water to sink the Bismarck. Oh, and that soggy, salty belly-flop onto chapter 3? It was an accident. Promise.

The “Quicksand” Illusion. How come the beach doesn’t come with more grass? Why am I always sinking? And what’s up with all this sand?

The Great Chapter Bury. Okay, okay. So maybe I did get a little carried away with that beach excavation thing. Like, digging half-way to China. And chucking sand all over Tolstoy. But, hey. The guy needed a face lift anyway. Think of all the money I saved him!

Go!

The Bait and Switch. Mom said, “Wanna play fetch?” Well. What kinda question is that?! Soon as she tossed the stick, I was all in! Sprinting full-speed down the coastline to:

  • Outrun every shorebird in sight.
  • Roll in every piece of seaweed I could find.
  • Say “hello” to everyone in the same zip code.
  • Protect Mom from one very sketchy-looking plastic bag.

The Salty Sea Gulp. Kids, don’t try this at home! Yeech!

Oh yeah!

Well. We had fun. Mostly. One of us even learned a few things. So here, at no extra charge, are some tips for surviving a “beach read” with your canine. (Accessories not included. Batteries sold separately.)

  • Pack a Canine Command Center: Bring an Explorer Dog Travel Bag to organize all the toys, fresh water, and portable bowls to keep them distracted from your book.
  • Bring Shade: A pop-up sun shelter makes a good chill zone where your pup can stay cool, keeping the sand-kicking radius at a safe distance. Add a cooling mat.
  • Accept Defeat: Honestly, the best way to handle reading at the beach with Fido is to just accept that your book will end up as a glorified chew toy. Bring a waterproof e-reader, or just give up and enjoy watching your furry bestie live their absolute best life in the surf. And leave that Russian novel at home. Kimber: Works for me! Can we go again tomorrow? Can we? Can we? Huh? Huh?
Till next time!


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World Book Blogging Domination: My Ultimate Master Plan

‘Who loves ya, baby?’

Let’s get one thing straight, okay? I, Kimber the Magnificent, am the true brains behind this entire book blogging operation. Sure, Her Royal Momness does all that “typing” and “reading” stuff requiring opposable thumbs. But without my strategic tail-wags, adorable puppy eyes, and sheer genius, her reviews would be nothing but plain text!

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10 Totally Pawsome Tips for No-Guilt Summer Reading

Happy First Day of Summer!

Kimber the Magnificent here. Jumping into summer and summer reading. Cuz summer is the lazy, daisy season. (Kimber: Not sure what that means. Methinks Mom just made that up. I prefer to think of summer as The Season of Endless Barbecues...)

“You’re gonna eat that?”

Wait. Where were we?

Oh yeah. Summer and summer reading. We talked about conquering your summer reading list the other day. One of us thought we oughtta clarify that the last thing Mom and I want on our summer plate is a reading list that feels like homework. So if your “summer reading” includes Russian literature that’s as dense as a pea soup fog or has books with plots so thick you could pave roads with ’em, you’re doing it wrong.

Not to fret, Cookie. We’re here to help.

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Kimber’s Guide to June Reading

Brilliant AND Beautiful!

Happy June 1!

No idea what that means, spake I, Kimber the Magnificent. But Mom is crowing about “Hoo-ray for June!” So “June” must be a good thing, right? Especially if “June” comes in Filet Mignon, medium-well, wrapped in bacon and all juicy and yummy and…

Wait. Where was I?

Oh yeah. June. And reading.

Well. Today you’re in for a treat, Cupcake. Cuz today I’m gonna give you a rundown on how this June reading thing works in my house. Like this:

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The Issue With “The”

Her Royal Momness and I were cruising literary headlines the other day. Several asked stuff like:

Psst! Throwin’ this in for free: I’M The Best, okay?
  • What’s the most emotional book you ever read?”
  • What’s the funniest book you ever read?
  • What’s the saddest book you ever read?”
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Better Than Bacon: 16 Ways to Download Books for Free

Someone say “bacon”?

Oh boy! Oh Boy! Oh boy! Today we’re highlighting two of my favorite words: FREE and BOOK! No. Really. This list includes 16 apps and websites where you either create a free account to download books for free, can download unlimited audio and ebooks free for a limited time, or just read for free, period. Hi, Libby. 

Sound good? Great! Grab the nearest fork and let’s dive in:

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Goodbye Too Soon: 25 Books We Didn’t Want to End

Know the feeling? You’re skipping merrily along. Loving a new book. Buried in an engaging, entertaining story with top-notch writing. You feel like you’re on a first-name basis with most of the characters. Would love joining them for a hot cuppa and a good chat. Or invite them over for dinner.

Then, all of a sudden, the book winds down. The story concludes. The characters resolve whatever they’re resolving. Or not.

But one way or another, the book ends.

You sigh. Because, why wouldn’t you? You’ve been carrying these characters around in your head for… hours. Days. Maybe weeks. Or more. You’re so invested in these characters and their lives that leaving them feels… sad.  Like you’re saying goodbye to dear friends. And closing that last page?

Double sigh.

Because you wished it would never end.

And have you noticed? A good book always ends too soon. Always.

Mom distinctly recalls one of the first books that ever evoked this feeling. She was in the fourth grade. Or maybe it was the third? Like, back when dinosaurs roamed the earth. The book was Born Free: A Lioness of Two Worlds by Joy Adamson. True story of Elsa, an orphaned lion cub. Elsa was raised by humans who loved her enough to set her free.

Others (most are fiction. Non-fiction titles are noted with “NF.”):


1. Black Beauty – Anna Sewell


2. Where the Red Fern Grows – Wilson Rawls


3.  Peter Pan – J.M. Barrie


4.  The Silver Brumby – Elyne Mitchell


5.  Through Gates of Splendor – Elisabeth Elliot (NF)


6. At Home in Mitford – Jan Karon

7. Because of Winn-Dixie – Kate DiCamillo

8. Island of the Blue Dolphins – Scott O’Dell

9. The Christmas Box – Richard Paul Evans


10.  A Tale of Two Cities – Charles Dickens


11. Les Miserables – Alexandre Dumas


12. Charlie and the Chocolate Factory – Roald Dahl


13 & 14. Brighty of the Grand Canyon, King of the Wind – Marguerite Henry

15.  A River Runs Through It – Norman Maclean


16.  A Tree Grows in Brooklyn – Betty Smith

17. Waking the Dead – John Eldredge (NF)

18. Christy – Catherine Marshall

19. The Robe – Lloyd C. Douglas

20. Where the Crawdads Sing – Delia Owens

21. Keep Walking, Your Heart Will Catch Up – Cathay Reta (NF)

22. A Year in Paradise – Floyd Schmoe (NF)

23. The Applause of Heaven – Max Lucado

24. Walking Home: Common Sense and Other Misadventures on the Pacific Crest Trail – Rick Rogers (NF)

25. Your choice.



Lots more.

You?


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10 Soul-Stirring Books You Can Read in a Weekend (or Less)

TGIF! And Happy Almost Weekend!

Speaking of “weekend,” are you short on time but long on wanting a worthwhile read? Like, something you can start tomorrow and finish by Sunday? Not to fret. Mom and I gotcha covered.

Gotcha covered!
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Drop It: The Art of Quitting a Lousy Book

Readers have some tough decisions. Like when your TBR rivals the Empire State Building. Your library check-outs are in triple digits. The local bookstore ropes off an entire section with your name on it. Or your favorite canine has to choose between New York Steak and Rib Eye.

Kimber the Magnificent here. Being all Brilliant and Beautiful again. Still.

Wait. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Reading decisions.

Does this sound familiar, hoomans?

– You grabbed a book off Amazon because it snagged a glittering galaxy of 5 star reviews. That were probably posted by the author’s mom. Under numerous pseudonyms.

– Your reading club is gushing over its latest selection. You can’t get past page 3 without reaching for No Doze.

– The latest “bestseller” has a plot that’s as dense as a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich. Without the jelly. Or the bread.

What’s a reader to do?

First of all, relax. Deep breaths, okay? Mom and I are here to help.

Second, realize that reading isn’t a competition. Or s chore. Reading is supposed to be fun. Enjoyable. (Kimber: Well, maybe not as enjoyable as a Porterhouse Steak. What?)

Anyway, here’s the latest brilliant advice from Her Royal Momness and me. On All of the Above. At no extra charge:

Stop.

That’s right.

Just. Stop. Close the book. Put it back. And move on to something else.

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve read. The number of pages left. Or how many hours you’ve spent slogging through a book. Through gritted teeth.  When you reach The Point of No Return on a book, don’t return.

That’s right. Put that book down. Send it back. Find something else.

And lose the guilt. Give yourself permission to say No.

True, not all books are easy. Some require more effort than others. That’s okay.

That snoozer that had you yawning? The stinker that made your hair ache? Just stop. Put it away. You can always pick it up again later.

But if you’re hating every minute of a book, counting the remaining pages, or forcing yourself to keep going and dreading every minute, then you’re missing the point. Of letting books into your head. And your heart. Soak into your soul. And maybe even change your life.

Speaking of “life,” Mom and I decided a long time ago that life’s too short to spend it on lousy books. That we don’t enjoy. Put us to sleep better than Sominex. Look like the neighborhood fluff ball.

Besides. With zillions of titles to choose from, you’ll always be able to find something that’s a better fit.

So to reiterate, relax. And lose the book DNF guilt. It’s so not you. 

Meanwhile, Mom and I will be back shortly. Soon as one of us re-shelves a few books.

You gonna eat that?

What’s the last book you read that soaked into your soul?


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Why We’re Sweating in February

We hear that much of the U.S. is jacketed in snow. And wearing icy pajamas. But Mom and I? One of us is breaking out the iced tea and A/C. Here’s why:

Where’s the iced tea?

J.A. Jance’s Exit Wounds is that rare kind of “immersion” where you forget your own address but can recite the protagonist’s entire personal history without even trying. 

The 4-1-1

Is the sudden death of a jail inmate linked to the murder of a reclusive woman who lived in a dilapidated mobile home with 17 dogs? What about two other dead women in New Mexico? Are the women’s murders linked by an 85 year-old bullet? How? And the vehicular homicide in Silver Creek, AZ?  Is a serial killer loose in Sheriff Joanna Brady’s county? Is a “surprise” family announcement coming from the Bradys? Will Joanna’s stay-at-home hubby’s first novel ever sell? And what about the dirty tricks her opponent is cooking up as the sheriff’s re-election campaign heats up?

A powerful tale about the darkest corners of human nature and unseen wounds that never heal… Much more.

Skillful writing.  Pitch-perfect pacing. Sturdy, three-dimensional characters that almost stand up and walk. The scent of summer rain. A plot with more twists than Lombard Street. And dogs! All make Exit Wounds unputdownable so far.

So, hey! It may be winter. Much of the country may be in a deep freeze. But reading this fast-paced mystery/suspense/thriller, one of us is sweating with this edge-of-your-seat Whodunit set in Cochise County, Arizona. In July.

So if anyone needs Mom or me, we’ll be in our blanket fort. Living inside these pages until further notice. While sipping iced tea (Hi, Mom.)

What’s the last book that made you a ‘functional’ ghost in your own life?