– We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging to bring you this important news bulletin –

Mom and I spend tons of time combing through review requests and deciding what we will or won’t accept. If a book is accepted, we may spend hours and hours or days reading it. And more time crafting a brilliant and pithy review.

Huge

It’s a huge investment of time and energy. We don’t charge any fees for reviews. We don’t get a cent for doing this. Not one penny. Our time and talent is free to you, Cupcake. 

At Least

So THE LEAST YOU CAN DO is Like, Comment, and Share the Post Link for a positive review of 3.0 or above. This not only helps promote your book, it also boosts post visibility. So again:

Required

Liking, Commenting, and Sharing the Link to a positive review is a REQUIREMENT for anyone asking for a review. If you don’t do so within three days of post publication, we will remove the post.

Think Again

Don’t think we’ll do it, Toots? Think again. Reviews of the following books have been removed because the author(s) failed to adhere to our Like, Comment, and Share requirement outlined above:

The Treasure of Tundavala Gap

Storybug Picture Books

Punctuation Retreat

The Mat as a Mirror: Reflecting Stories of Women’s Strength & Confidence Through Jiu-Jitsu

Perestroika Percolates With Perspicacity

Memoir Highlights Self-Discovery After Stroke

Professional Joy Spreading and 4 New Ones For Little’Uns

July and Everything After

***

Don’t think we don’t notice. We do. 

Kimber: And you sooooo do not want to get catty-wampuss to The Old Curmudgeon. Bad idea. Really bad idea.

And to those authors and publicists who do take the time to adhere to our requirements, THANK YOU! You’re still PAWsome!

– We will now return you to our regularly scheduled blogging – 

ANNOUNCEMENT!

If you’re lookin’ for angels cha-cha-ing through the realms of glory, singe-ing chestnuts on an open fire (Mom’s special expertise) or ringing sleigh bells, sorry to disappoint with this here announcement thingy.

Now Taking New Review Requests

But if you’ve been waiting for word about when we plan to re-open to new review requests, you’re in luck! Or gravy. Or leftover turkey. Or… something yummy.

After trying to climb out from underneath a Mount Everest backlog of review requests we had stacked up from here to breakfast, we’re finally seeing daylight. So we’re re-opening the review request queue to new requests.

Cuz today’s the day!

I, Kimber the Magnificent, officially declare Pages and Pages (Re) OPEN for new review requests.

You’re welcome. Just don’t inundate us all at once, okay? While you’re at it, kindly note that we reserve the right to decline any submission for any reason whatsoever without any explanation. Period.

PLEASE READ. THE. GUIDELINES

Our Rating System and Submission Guidelines exist for a reason, okay? So for the NINE MILLIONTH TIME, kindly save us both some time and effort by Reading Our Submission Guidelines BEFORE you hit us up with your magnum opus.

Like Santa

Cuz Mom and I? We’re kinda like Santa. We make a list. Check it twice. We find out who’s naughty and nice when it comes to review requests. Like, we know exactly who does and does not read our Submission Guidelines. Always. And believe you me, you so do not want to get on The ‘Ole Curmudgeon’s bad side(s) by submitting stuff we’re not interested in. Or committing the other Unpardonable Sin: Getting a positive review (3.0 rating or above) and failing to Like, Comment on, or Share the post within three days of publication. We know that, too. (Failure to do so can and usually does result in removal of the post.)

So I’d listen up ‘fize you.

We will now return you to our regularly scheduled cha-cha-ing.

Wait. Is that eggnog?

Submission Guidelines

Incoming! Incoming! Grab the helmets and flak jackets! RED ALERT! Cuz Her Crankiness is on the warpath today! Like, Super-Duper Cranky.

My baby picture. I know. I’m adorable.

Why? Cuz yesterday she received her *promo* copy of a book she contributed an article to about Yours Truly. It’s an anthology called When Love Wags a Tail: Inspiring Stories of Love, Loyalty, and Laughter.

And we Totally Hate it.

What the “author” did to our story ranks right up there with pre-chewed bacon.

Continue reading →

– We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging to bring you this important news bulletin –

Her Crankiness is at again. Being all cranky. Refusing to share her chocolate. Again. (That’s actually a good thing if you’re a dog like me. We don’t do chocolate. It’s toxic for us dogs.)

RED ALERT!

Anyway, She Who Must Be Obeyed has an important announcement. It’s for authors. Author wannabes. Publicists. Blog tour coordinators. Publishers. Pretty much anyone who contacts us for a review.

Listen Up!

If you’re one of the above, kindly pay attention. Cuz this is for you. And we’re not gonna repeat ourselves, savvy? So I’d listen up ‘fize you. Here goes:

Continue reading →

Or is that, Here ye? Here ye? 

‘What peanut butter?’

Never can keep those two straight. But Her Momness says one of those phrases works for an announcement type thingy. So I thought I’d letcha know that we’re kicking off this new year thingy with an announcement. Ready? Good. Here goes:

Continue reading →