We give out a super duper, totally pawsitively and magnificently splendiderous author award every once in awhile. Comes with extra pawsome sauce. It’s called The Kimber Award. Because, hey. It’s me.
We’ll get to that in just a min. So kindly keep your hair on, Toots. First an update on The Ole Curmudgeon.
Mom was in the hospital place recently. She hates hospitals. So do I. They won’t allow me inside. Silly hospitals.
Cuz it’s time for another rip roarin- edition of the Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky Awards.
What’s a Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky Award? Tip: You sooo don’t want to get one! Cuz these are titles you can skip and not miss a blessed thing.
Here’s the short list of qualifications for a Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky award (subject to change whenever we feel like it):
Kimber the Magnificent here. Being all brilliant and beauteous. As usual. Telling you that Mom and I have been thinking. (Mom says “noodling.” No idea what that means. Or what pasta has to do with anything. But you know Mom!)
Anyway, you know we have our Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky Awards, right? Reserved for books that hit it right out of the park in the Stinkasaurus Stupendi category. But we’re thinking of creating a new award: The Liar! Liar! Pants on Fire Award.
Cuz if it’s one thing that chaps our hides, it’s a book that’s not honest about who/what it is. You know the type? You pick up a title at a bookstore. Library. Online. Read the summary/synopsis. Think to yourself, “Hey! This sounds pretty good. I’m in!”
You start reading. Then, wham! It starts getting warm and toasty. The fire alarm goes off. And you realize you’ve been had. Lied to. Cuz the book you grabbed on the basis of its own description turns out to be something else. Commits the Official Mom and Kimber Unpardonable Book Sin: Pretends to be something it’s not. Misrepresents itself. Fakes it. Has a hidden agenda.
So. Not. Cool.
Tip for Authors: (Throwin’ this in for free): You soooo don’t want to do this. Mom’ll nail ya on it. Every time.
You know we’re pretty picky when it comes to books, right? Like, we have Standards. Submission Guidelines. And we chuck out tons of bookish junk all the time, like the neighbor’s cat hawks up hairballs.
But we also have favorites. And not just books or genres. In fact, we have some fave authors we want to tell you about. Cuz today we’re awarding The Biggest Bow Wow of them all:
What? You haven’t heard of this prestigious honor? Maybe that’s cuz I, Kimber, just made it up.
Well, okay. Mom helped. A little. She lobbied for “World’s Most Super Duper, Seriously Splendid, Extra Excellent, Terrifically Talented, Genuine Genius-y, and All-Around Awesome Author Awards.”
I nixed that. After all. Someone has to be the adult in the room.
Where was I? Oh yeah. The Kimber Awards. … Continue reading
One of us used to feel a teensy twinge when an author complained about a negative book review. For a lousy book.
Now she just laughs:
Newsflash, Cupcake: We do honest reviews here. We’ve panned Pulitzer Prize winners we thought weren’t worth the paper they’re printed on. We’ve also heaped praise on unknown indie authors who earn it. So don’t whine about a negative review. You sound like the “wah-wah” adult in Peanuts.
Cuz guess what, Toots? We So. Don’t. Care.
Now that we’ve got that outta the way, buckle up. Cuz it’s time for another rip roarin- edition of Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky Awards. Cuz, holy Meow Mix! You don’t want to waste your valuable time on lousy snoozers that make fish wrap look delish, right? We already did that. So you don’t have to. You’re welcome. (Note: We received complimentary copies of most of these titles in exchange for honest reviews.)
Here’s the short list of qualifications for a Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky award:
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
“I know these dogs!” saith Kimber the Magnificent. “They’re my BFFs!”
Her Momness: “Okay, Kimmi. But everyone’s your BFF.”
Kimber: “So?”
So…. You’ve heard of the Pulitzer Prize? The Newbery Medal? The Nobel Prize? Small potatoes, bub. They’re nothing next to the Official Mom-Tested, Kimber-Approved Pawsome Book Award.
“What’s a Pawsome Book Award?” you ask. Good question. It’s like sunshine on a cloudy day. Birthdays. The first day of summer vacation. Christmas morning. BFFs. All rolled into one.
Reserved for the top one percent (that’s 1% for those in the back) of all books read, the Pawsome Award is our highest honor.
I Chose You is the first-ever recipient of this prestigious award. Here’s why:
It’s that time again, friends! Time for another rip roarin- edition of Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky Awards. Cuz, holy Meow Mix! (Note: We received complimentary copies of these titles via Reedsy/Discovery in exchange for honest reviews.)
Here’s the short list of qualifications for a Big Kitty Litter Box in the Sky award:
Cuz ya know Mom and me, we like to be helpful. As in, save you some time. By avoiding lousy snoozers that make fish wrap look delish. Like, we already did the fish wrap thing. So you don’t have to. You’re welcome.
So here, without further ado, is our BKLBITS Awards, Part IV:
You’ve heard of the Academy Awards. The Emmys, Tonys, and Golden Globes. But you may not have heard of The Biggest Bow Wow of them all:
What? You haven’t heard of this prestigious honor? Maybe that’s cuz I, Kimber, just made it up.
Well, okay. Mom helped. A little. She lobbied for “World’s Most Super Duper, Seriously Splendid, Extra Excellent, Terrifically Talented, Genuine Genius-y, and All-Around Awesome Author Awards.”
I nixed that. After all. Someone has to be the adult in the room. (Well, okay again. It was mostly me. But Mom helped a bit.)
Where was I? Oh yeah. The Kimber Awards. … Continue reading
Kimber: Nobody wants to waste their valuable time reading stinkers, right? That’s why Mom and I launched the BKLBITS (Big Kitty Litter Box In The Sky) Awards awhile back. How does a book make the BKLBITS Award list? Like this:
So here, without further ado, are the Mom and Kimber BKLBITS Awards, Part III:
You’ve heard of the Academy Awards. The Emmys, Tonys, and Golden Globes. But you may not have heard of The Biggest Bow Wow of them all:
You may not have heard of this prestigious honor. That’s because I, Kimber, just made it up. Just in time for Thanksgiving.
Well, okay. Mom helped. A little. She lobbied for “World’s Most Super Duper, Seriously Splendid, Extra Excellent, Terrifically Talented, Genuine Genius-y, and All-Around Awesome Author Awards.”
I nixed that. After all. Someone has to be the adult in the room. Besides. Mom and I thought that with all this negative COVID-ish talk going around, something upbeat is in order. (Well, okay again. It was mostly me. But Mom helped a bit.)
Where was I? Oh yeah. The Kimber Awards. …
Pages & Paws 