“This book taught me, once and for all, how easily you can escape this world with the help of words! You can find friends between the pages of a book, wonderful friends.” ―Cornelia Funke, Inkspell
It’s true, isn’t it? says I, Kimber the Magnificent. Mom says we’ve met some of our best friends through a book or books. (I personally think a double cheeseburger would help. But who’s counting?)
So Mom and I? We put head and paws together to come up with our list of Characters We’d Love An Update On Now That The Book is Over. Several of their book stories have been made into movies. How many do you recognize? (The jury’s still out on that cheeseburger. But it never hurts to ask, right?)
11-ish Characters We’d Love An Update On (in no particular order):
Kimber: There’s no place like Outback. There’s no place like Outback…
Mom: Kimmi, girl. Today’s post is about best fictional worlds to get lost in. Hate to break it to ya. But Outback Steakhouse is real.
Kimber: A canine can dream, right? Okay, okay. I’ll try to bring it in and focus on beautiful, interesting and well-built fictional worlds to get lost in. Or maybe sit down with a nice, thick juicy steak…
While Kimmi’s doing her thinking (or chewing), what about Best Fictional Worlds to Get Lost In via the pages of a really good book? Here’s our collection. From books we’ve actually read.
These books brim with adventure and intrigue. Enchantment. Secret rooms or fantastical forests. Talking beasts. Magic. Lots more. They’re a chance to spread your mental wings. Fire your imagination. And escape into fictional worlds of fantastic heroes and heroines. Dastardly villains. Narrow escapes. Harrowing close calls. Uncommon courage and steadfast valor. And lots of other good stuff.
“Alright Kimber. Step away from the non-fiction book stash and I’ll forget all about that incident with the double cheeseburger.”
Kimber: Drat! I was kinda hoping Mom already forgot about that.
Squirrel!
Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah. Top non-fiction titles. As you know, non-fiction tells a true story about actual events and real peeps. All of the NF titles below are uber readable. Eminently engaging. They feature sturdy writing and are told with great skill. And sometimes a twinkle or two. Maybe more. Ditto pitch-perfect pacing. All are a cut above. So you really should drop everything and buy your own copy, Cupcake. Just sayin’.
So here’s our totally subjective, 100% unscientific list of top 10 non-fiction titles. Some are old. Some are new. Many are by indie authors. How many do you recognize?
Some poor unsuspecting rookie posed this topic to The ‘Ole Curmudgeon the other day. Probably seemed like a good idea at the time. Like the time I “liberated” that nice, juicy pot roast from the dinner table when no one was lookin’. But I think The ‘Ole Curmudgeon has forgotten about that by now. So let’s not remind her, okay?
Anyway, we “liberated” this headline from another blogger. Comes with some questions: Whaddya mean by “bias”? Who decides? Based on what?
Here’s one def of “bias”: showing a like or dislike for someone or something based on personal opinions.
Newsflash, Toots. When it comes to book reviews, that’s kind of the whole point.
Yo!
For example, we have a “bias” against R-rated books and those with gratuitous violence and/or profanity. Additionally, we no longer accept memoirs about childhood abuse. Conversely-ish, we have a “bias” toward clean, uplifting and inspirational books.
We’re just funny that way. It’s no secret. We say so in our Submission Guidelines. As in: Our blog. Our rules. So deal with it, Buttercup.
Fact is, we know what kind of books we like. And what we don’t. And why. And fact is again, some books are just better than others. They have better writing that’s rich, skilled, and full-bodied. They’re well-organized. Articulate. Structurally sound. Feature three-dimensional characters. An engaging, agile plot. Nimble pacing. They enrich, motivate, educate, stretch, entertain and/or inspire.
Others don’t.
They move with the alacrity of a three-toed sloth. Drip with typos. Have a plot like Swiss cheese. Bland, brittle characters that could give No Doze a run for its moola. And are as inspiring as wilted cabbage. Or the neighborhood powder puff.
And we notice.
So. How to Rate Books Without Being “Biased”? Simple. Thrown’ this in for free: Just don’t have a solid opinion.
First things first. I haven’t moved houses or switched dog food brands. My hoomans are all fine. The neighborhood powder puff – that yappy little furball on four legs – is still around. So annoying. Her Momness and I have just been running around all over the place. Seems like we just wrapped up summer and now we’re halfway through winter.
Squirrel!
Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah. Halfway through winter.
Silly Mom. If she ever buys stock in Kleenex, we can retire and move to Tibet or somewhere. Cuz she says every once in a while a book, painting, message or song is so powerful that it’s a wee bit overwhelming.
I’m not sure what that means. But if it has Mom doing the sparkly, sniffly smiley thing it must be good.
Like getting hit with a thanksgiving tsunami. Like MercyMe’s Flawless.
This vid isn’t new. But one of us thought it’s just right for this here Thanksy Day thing. The other is still grabbing the Kleenex. Can you guess why?
If you’ve been with us for any length of time – say, 20 minutes or so – you know that Mom and I are like, totally unimpressed with the words “Best-selling author.” Or its kissing cousins, “(fill in the blank) Award Winner.” Ditto“Over a bazillion copies in print.” The fact that everyone and their neighbor’s cat is crowing about a new release impresses us about as much as a plate of overcooked cabbage. Without the plate.
Yeppers. We’ve heaped praise on unknown indie authors who’ve earned it. We’ve also panned Pulitzer Prize winners who deserved it. Ya just never know.
So here, in living technicolor, is our latest round of best-sellers that bombed. According to us. We read these so’s you don’t have to. You’re welcome:
Opening lines. They can pull you into book and urge ya to go further, or turn ya off so’s ya move on.
Mom and me, we’ve been around long enough to know some good opening lines when we see ‘em. So we made a list. Checked it twice. And came up with our 100% unscientific, totally subjective list of 35 Most Memorable Opening Lines Ever. From books we’ve actually read.
Her Royal Grumpiness is all grumpified today. For two reasons: 1) Glasses; 2) The Book Place.
Short version: New prescription eye glasses ain’t working. Only way Her Momness can read a computer screen is by tilting her head up and looking through the bottom of the lenses. So not happenin’. What was that optometrist thinking? So annoying.
Pages & Paws 