Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie


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The Kimster Explains ‘She Who Must Be Obeyed’

Greetings Lovable Bookwormish Buds!Kimber the Magnificent here. Saying yepster, we hear ya. That is, we hear the hoomans who are scratching their heads over a phrase we sometimes deploy referring to Her Momness: She Who Must Be Obeyed. Ever heard that? Wondered where it came from?

‘I am too a lap dog! Am too! Am TOO! AM TOO!’
Kimber Explains
Not to fret or fluff, friend. Cuz The All Knowing Kimster is here to ‘splain everything. Kind of.
First thing ya may want to know about She Who Must Be Obeyed is yes, it’s bookish in origin. Second, it’s not original with us. See, we kinda like stole the phrase from British barrister and author John Mortimer.
Name doesn’t ring a bell? Not to worry. Cuz I, The All Knowing Kimster, shall ‘splain. Like this:
Rumpole!
John Mortimer passed away in 2009. But he was one cool cat… er… canine! Mortimer was a British barrister, dramatist, screenwriter and author. He’s best known for short stories about a barrister named Horace Rumpole. Which we like, Totally Love. The books were adapted for the TV series Rumpole of the Bailey, also written by Mortimer. Leo McKern stars as the cunning and witty Rumpole.

Broadcast on ITV between 3 April 1978 and 3 December 1992, ‘Rumpole Of The Bailey’ is a thoroughly entertaining British series about Horace Rumpole, a middle-aged London barrister who defends a broad variety of clients, often underdogs. (We love underdogs, too. Go figure.)
The ‘Bailey’ is a reference to the Central Criminal Court Of England And Wales. It’s commonly referred to as the ‘Old Bailey’, after the street on which it stands, a criminal court building in central London.
Betcha didn’t know that.

Hilda
So, what does this Rumpole dude have to do with She Who Must Be Obeyed? you ask. Well. If you’ve read the book(s) or seen the TV series, you already know the answer to that: Hilda Rumpole. Aka: Mrs. Rumpole. She Who Must Be Obeyed is Horace’s humorous nickname for Hilda.
Yea, verily. Hilda Rumpole is not to be trifled with. Cranky and curmudgeonly, she’s a veritable force of nature. Underneath her crusty exterior beats a soft little bunny heart. Just don’t tell anyone, okay?
You gonna eat that? What?
***
Have you seen or read Rumpole?


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Book Lover Perks!


Are you a book lover? Do you skip meals in order to “finish the next chapter”? Do you await your favorite author’s next release like a kid counting down to Christmas? Is a trip to the library a grand adventure?
Me and She Who Must Be Obeyed? We’re rarely as content as when we’re neck-deep in a good story. Or even a mediocre one. Or chomping on a nice, thick juicy…

Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah. Reading.
We don’t read “competitively” or to win prizes. We just love books. And love to read.
A Bonus
But every once in awhile it’s nice to get a little perk. Call it a reading bonus.

We were delighted to get a phone call from the local book place the other day. Mom and I won not one but two prizes in conjunction with this year’s Adult Winter Reading Program: An Amazon gift card and a book bag filled with goodies. We ambled over to the library recently to pick up our prizes, pictured above. (Not the gorgeous, brilliant and totally pawesome canine pictured above. Cuz I’m a ‘prize’ all day every day, okay? – Love, Kimber.)

The book bag is sturdy and zippered. We can use it to haul checkouts and returns to and from the library, which we usually walk to. The bag was filled with some pretty cool stuff, including note cards, chocolate, a mini metallic notebook, and a giant coffee mug (for curling up with a good book). And who can resist Ghirardelli’s Intense Dark? Also four brand new hard book backs we haven’t yet read! The $25 gift card arrives next week.

We don’t read for prizes. We read because we love books! But getting these “perks”? It still feels like Christmas.
Now. About that nice, thick, juicy…


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11 Characters We’d Love to Get Updates On

“This book taught me, once and for all, how easily you can escape this world with the help of words! You can find friends between the pages of a book, wonderful friends.” ―Cornelia Funke, Inkspell

It’s true, isn’t it? says I, Kimber the Magnificent. Mom says we’ve met some of our best friends through a book or books. (I personally think a double cheeseburger would help. But who’s counting?)

So Mom and I? We put head and paws together to come up with our list of Characters We’d Love An Update On Now That The Book is Over. Several of their book stories have been made into movies. How many do you recognize? (The jury’s still out on that cheeseburger. But it never hurts to ask, right?)

11-ish Characters We’d Love An Update On (in no particular order):

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15 Best Fictional Worlds to Get Lost In

You gonna eat that?

Kimber: There’s no place like Outback. There’s no place like Outback

Mom: Kimmi, girl. Today’s post is about best fictional worlds to get lost in. Hate to break it to ya. But Outback Steakhouse is real.

Kimber: A canine can dream, right? Okay, okay. I’ll try to bring it in and focus on beautiful, interesting and well-built fictional worlds to get lost in. Or maybe sit down with a nice, thick juicy steak…

While Kimmi’s doing her thinking (or chewing), what about Best Fictional Worlds to Get Lost In via the pages of a really good book? Here’s our collection. From books we’ve actually read.

These books brim with adventure and intrigue. Enchantment. Secret rooms or fantastical forests. Talking beasts. Magic. Lots more. They’re a chance to spread your mental wings. Fire your imagination. And escape into fictional worlds of fantastic heroes and heroines. Dastardly villains. Narrow escapes. Harrowing close calls. Uncommon courage and steadfast valor. And lots of other good stuff.

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Top 10 PAWsome Non-Fiction Books To Read & Re-Read

“Alright Kimber. Step away from the non-fiction book stash and I’ll forget all about that incident with the double cheeseburger.”

Kimber: Drat! I was kinda hoping Mom already forgot about that.

Squirrel!

Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah. Top non-fiction titles. As you know, non-fiction tells a true story about actual events and real peeps. All of the NF titles below are uber readable. Eminently engaging. They feature sturdy writing and are told with great skill. And sometimes a twinkle or two. Maybe more. Ditto pitch-perfect pacing. All are a cut above. So you really should drop everything and buy your own copy, Cupcake. Just sayin’.

So here’s our totally subjective, 100% unscientific list of top 10 non-fiction titles. Some are old. Some are new. Many are by indie authors. How many do you recognize?

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How To Rate Books Without Being Biased

Some poor unsuspecting rookie posed this topic to The ‘Ole Curmudgeon the other day. Probably seemed like a good idea at the time. Like the time I “liberated” that nice, juicy pot roast from the dinner table when no one was lookin’. But I think The ‘Ole Curmudgeon has forgotten about that by now. So let’s not remind her, okay?

Anyway, we “liberated” this headline from another blogger. Comes with some  questions: Whaddya mean by “bias”? Who decides? Based on what?

Here’s one def of “bias”: showing a like or dislike for someone or something based on personal opinions.

Newsflash, Toots. When it comes to book reviews, that’s kind of the whole point.

Yo!

For example, we have a “bias” against R-rated books and those with gratuitous violence and/or profanity. Additionally, we no longer accept memoirs about childhood abuse. Conversely-ish, we have a “bias” toward clean, uplifting and inspirational books.

We’re just funny that way.  It’s no secret. We say so in our Submission Guidelines. As in: Our blog. Our rules. So deal with it, Buttercup.

Fact is, we know what kind of books we like. And what we don’t. And why. And fact is again, some books are just better than others. They have better writing that’s rich, skilled, and full-bodied. They’re well-organized. Articulate. Structurally sound. Feature three-dimensional characters. An engaging, agile plot. Nimble pacing. They enrich, motivate, educate, stretch, entertain and/or inspire.

Others don’t.

They move with the alacrity of a three-toed sloth. Drip with typos. Have a plot like Swiss cheese. Bland, brittle characters that could give No Doze a run for its moola. And are as inspiring as wilted cabbage. Or the neighborhood powder puff.

And we notice.

So. How to Rate Books Without Being “Biased”? Simple. Thrown’ this in for free: Just don’t have a solid opinion.

You’re welcome. Now about that pot roast…


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10 Great Authors for Midlife Readers and Other Hoomans

First things first. I haven’t moved houses or switched dog food brands. My hoomans are all fine. The neighborhood powder puff – that yappy little furball on four legs – is still around. So annoying. Her Momness and I have just been running around all over the place. Seems like we just wrapped up summer and now we’re halfway through winter.

Squirrel!

Wait. Where was I? Oh yeah. Halfway through winter.

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Hit by A Thanksgiving Tsunami

Silly Mom. If she ever buys stock in Kleenex, we can retire and move to Tibet or somewhere. Cuz she says every once in a while a book, painting, message or song is so powerful that it’s a wee bit overwhelming.

I’m not sure what that means. But if it has Mom doing the sparkly, sniffly smiley thing it must be good.

Like getting hit with a thanksgiving tsunami. Like MercyMe’s Flawless.

This vid isn’t new. But one of us thought it’s just right for this here Thanksy Day thing. The other is still grabbing the Kleenex. Can you guess why?


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‘Reedsy’ Reviewed

Hello Friends!

We’ve had several requests for an encore of our post about a popular indie review site, Reedsy Discovery. So here it is:

A Review of Reedsy Reviews.

You’re welcome.


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5 Reasons “Bestselling Author” Doesn’t Mean Beans

‘Wait. Is that Sasquatch?’

Hello Friends!

If you’ve been with us for any length of time – say, 20 minutes or so – you know that Mom and I are like, totally unimpressed with the words “Best-selling author.” Or its kissing cousins, “(fill in the blank) Award Winner.” Ditto“Over a bazillion copies in print.” The fact that everyone and their neighbor’s cat is crowing about a new release impresses us about as much as a plate of overcooked cabbage. Without the plate.

Yeppers. We’ve heaped praise on unknown indie authors who’ve earned it. We’ve also panned Pulitzer Prize winners who deserved it. Ya just never know.

So here, in living technicolor, is our latest round of best-sellers that bombed. According to us. We read these so’s you don’t have to. You’re welcome:

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