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Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie

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High Spirits & Higher Stakes: A Prohibition-Era Page-Turner (2 of 3)

The Rum Runner: The Legend of Captain John Stewart (2 of 3)

By Doralynn Kennedy (Indie author, 2025)

Genre: Fiction/Gothic Romance

Pages (print): 530

Via: Author request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

We’re picking up where we left off yesterday with a review of the second book in the three-novel collection, The Rum Runner: The Legend of Captain John Stewart. Here’s our review of Book One: Cliff House. (Kimber: I’d check that out, Toots. It’ll give ya some important back story.)

So, Mom and I? We figured we’d just dip a toe into Book One. Like, test the narrative waters. Then get to Book Two when we can. Cuz, our TBR pile looks kinda like Mount Rushmore these days. Or maybe the state of Alaska.

Just shows you what we know.

After finishing Book One, Cliff House, we were itchin’ to dive into Book Two, Rum Runners. Like, Do Not Pass Go. Do Not Collect $200. So, we did. The next day.

Yep, we thoroughly enjoyed Cliff House. But guess what, Cookie? Book Two, Rum Runners, is even better. I’ll let Mom ‘splain. Ya might want to buckle up.

He’s caught between the two things he loves most – the empire he’s built and the woman he loves. John Stewart is being pulled in opposite directions that he can’t reconcile in this sweeping gothic romance set on the New England Coast.

“Not all houses are for the living.”

John Stewart is an enigmatic kinda guy. Taciturn. Passionate. Mysterious. We kept seeing Jay Gatsby. Or maybe Edmond Dantes. And a little of James Clavell’s Dirk Struan of Tai-pan. A dash of Rhett Butler. And Stewart’s main squeeze in Book Two, nurse Ruth Wilson? We kept seeing Dickens’s Esther Summerson of Bleak House.

Well. Rum Runners opens 100 years before Book One. An exhausted nurse peers into a tempestuous sea in the midst of a raging storm, searching for any hint of shipwreck survivors. Survival is something Ruth Wilson knows well. Half her town is gone due to a deadly flu epidemic, including her family and most of her friends and neighbors. But in the raging storm she finds another survivor: Captain John Stewart.

“Revenge makes widows where it should only claim enemies.”

Once he’s healthy again, Stewart contacts Ruth and asks her to come to his Connecticut estate, Marshwood Manor, to care for his diabetic mother. Once there, Ruth meets the kindly and steady Dr. Michael Best (echoes of another Dickensian character, Tom Pinch of Martin Chuzzlewit.). Together, Ruth and the doctor oversee the Stewart matriarch’s care. The doctor asks for Ruth’s hand in marriage. She is touched by his kindness and quiet, unfettered steadiness. Ruth is also unsettled by “men with rifles in the roses” at Marshwood Manor. And what’s up with the little girl who isn’t really there?

“Ruth found herself suspended between the two: the quiet ward of Dr. Best, where one might count a lifetime in the faithful return of spring blossoms; and the reckless blaze of John Stewart, where one might live a single year and yet feel it outweighed all others.”

Ruth chooses to join John Stewart at the new house he’s building on a cliff in Maine. And “The promise she gave a dying woman was a chain that pulled tighter the more he disappeared.” Can Ruth keep her promises to John’s dying mother without losing her own soul?

“She thought she wanted glitter. What she really wanted was grace.”

Book Two explains how and why John Stewart got into rum running. And the origins of Cliff House, which is really two houses. Cliff House above is all show. Chandeliers. Polished wood. A band and a ballroom. Cliff House below is hidden doors. Narrow, slick staircases. Deliveries at odd hours. Shadows. And while Cliff House remains a formidable character in Book Two, it’s not as central as it was in Book One. So, make sure you read both, okay?

The tone of Rum Runners differs a bit from Cliff House. The latter is more cerebral. There’s plenty of action in Rum Runners. For example, after a duel to the death over smuggling supremacy, Stewart’s criminal empire grows. It spreads from Main to Chicago, “from coast to coast: bribes paid, rivals buried, men bought for loyalty or silence.”  

We loved how the author weaves echoes of Book One throughout Book Two: A woman in pink. Mercy with a mouth like a trap. A cup with three drops. A flask and water from a cavern pool. One, two, three. One, two, three.

“Memory is an animal that will not be tamed.”

As in Cliff House, superb writing and skillful storytelling are the watchwords for Rum Runners. The author’s metaphors remain as sharp as a chisel carving stone. Her similes sparkle like embers in the dark. The narrative makes readers feel like we’re tip-toeing into a shadowy world of secrets where faint whispers curl through cracks in the walls and floorboards are full of breaths held too long.

The story races forward with the precision of a seasoned conductor, keeping the beat tight and the tension high. It’s a brisk, expertly paced journey where every word is a deliberate choice, every scene a calculated advance.

And… we’re not through yet! Be sure to keep an eye out for our review of Book Three: Scavengers. Coming TOMORROW!

Our Rating: 4.5


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How ‘The Rum Runner’ Caught Us On a Cliff (1 of 3)

The Rum Runner: The Legend of Captain John Stewart

By Doralynn Kennedy (Indie author, 2025)

Genre: Fiction/Gothic Romance

Pages (print): 530

Via: Author request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

“Mercy with a mouth like a trap.”

Kimber: Okay, Mom. I give up. What’s a “gothic romance”?

Mom:  “Gothic romance” combines dark, suspenseful settings with intense, often forbidden love, blending horror, mystery, and passion. It’s often characterized by moody, atmospheric settings. Crumbling mansions. Haunted castles. Foggy forests. They shape the story’s tension, drama, and intrigue.

Kimber: You mean like a nice, thick juicy Porterhouse steak sizzling on the grill?

Mom. Sighs. Something like that.

Well, friends. We don’t usually gravitate toward “gothic romance.” But when we received a review request from author Doralynn Kennedy for her latest book, The Rum Runner: The Legend of Captain John Stewart, we accepted it on the strength of her prior work. A formidable author and prodigious writing talent, Kennedy has published in multiple genres, including romantic suspense, Gothic romance, Christian fiction, nonfiction, and children’s books. We’ve reviewed a couple over the years, including Thirteen Miracles and The Mystery of the Fox Down Dog and Other Stories. Enjoyed them.

So even though we’re not really big “gothic romance” fans, we decided to take a chance on The Rum Runner and Book One: Cliff House. It’s the first book in a three-novel omnibus collection. We’ll get to the other books later. But were we ever surprised with Cliff House. Here’s the skinny:

When the past refuses to stay buried and an external hurricane mirrors an inner storm, love becomes a dangerous game of shadows and secrets in this deliciously moody and atmospheric read set in Maine.

The Plot

Caroline came to steal his secrets. But he stole her heart.

When Case Pharmaceuticals’ investigator Caroline Oliver arrives at a decaying mansion on the Maine coast as a hurricane closes in, she expects corporate secrets tied to rumors of immortal life. Instead, she finds a house that’s alive – and a man who should not exist.

Edward Kelly, rumored to be a long-dead Prohibition-era smuggler Captain John Stewart, is now a billionaire businessman of impossible age. Haunted by a century-old curse, he’s spent decades hiding from a past that refuses to stay buried. A hundred years earlier, a private nurse named Ruth Wilson stepped into his world of passion, smugglers, and secrets, and fell in love with a man the sea refused  to drown. Now the past and present collide.

Because some storms do not end with the water. Some follow a man ashore and wait for him in the dark...

The Rum Runner is a masterful, highly readable blend of spooky haunted house with a mind of its own, supernatural mystery, and a generational curse tied to Prohibition-era rum runner and Cliff House owner Captain John Stewart, aka: Edward Kelly. The historical context is – duh – rum running – and smuggling during the 1920s. This includes speakeasies, murder, mayhem, and one super creepy house help duo, Mr. and Mrs. Yardley.

It may be the first book we’ve read where a house is a main character. Like, sentient. Hungry. Jealous. And if Cliff House is a trap, what does that make Edward? Is he really flesh and blood or… something else?

The Rum Runner grabbed us in Chapter 1. Didn’t let go until the final page. As noted above, we’ve enjoyed Kennedy’s prior novels. But The Rum Runner is a whole new level of excellence and expertise. It’s Kennedy’s best work yet. And thoroughly un-putdownable. Like this:

Superb writing and masterful storytelling propel a plot that hits you with relentless momentum. The plot-punching narrative and dynamic characters combined with breathless pacing pour out a story that’s as smooth as a rum-soaked sunset. It’s also as creepy and compelling as the water-soaked beams and stones of Cliff House. The story creates a subtle but distinct line of rising tension and intrigue as we follow Caroline in and out of the rhythms of the house and the stories within while the “creep-out factor” soars into the stratosphere.

Haunting, mysterious and exceedingly eerie, The Rum Runner would make a great movie. (What’s Vincent Price or his progeny up to these days? Hmmm…) “We sail!”

Again, kindly note that this omnibus collection includes three novels. It’s a heavy lift, clocking in at over 500 pages. Book One, Cliff House, clocks in at 174 pages.

Cloaked in a shroud of secrets that echo through the story like ghosts of yesteryear, this exceptional gothic romance caught us on a cliff, haunting our thoughts long after we turned the last page.

We loved it! You will, too!

Our Rating: 4.0

Join us TOMORROW for our review of Book Two: Rum Runners. And don’t forget the Porterhouse! “Cut loose!”


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Why ‘Corvus’ Will Wing Its Way Into Your Heart

Corvus

By Shallen Anne Chitwood (Turtle Top Publishing, 2026)

Genre: Fiction/Children – Middle Grade

Pages (Print): 146

Via: Author Request

Note: we received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

Did you know that butterflies can taste with their feet? Yup. It’s a thing. Like a superpower. Did you further know that crows have “monocular vision”? That’s a thing, too. It means crows can look in two directions at the same time. Kinda like I, Kimber the Magnificent, can keep a close eye on a rib eye steak at the same time I’m watching a new, juicy burger. What?

Well, yes sirree, Lassie! One of us learned a lot in this charming and highly engaging new book by one of our favorite indie authors, Shallen Anne Chitwood. (Kimber: Her work is like, Totally PAWsome! Just sayin’. See our review of one of her previous books, Big Love and War Horse.) True to form, Chitwood delivers again in this heartwarming and heartfelt story about a crow who’s afraid to fly and his chatty caterpillar chum with a heart of gold. We Totally Love-if-ied this book. Here’s why:

Clarence is a caterpillar with big ideas. Corvus is a little crow with a big problem – he’s afraid to fly. Together, these unlikely friends discover a world full of surprises, danger, and change.

Winter is coming and a legendary one-eyed hawk is stalking the crow clan. With his family preparing to migrate south, Corvus must decide if he can trust his wings and himself. Can Clarence help Corvus face his fears and find the courage to fly before it’s too late?

As danger closes in, Corvus learns that help can come from mysterious allies and unexpected friends. And that sometimes, the greatest “magic trick” of all is… Oh, wait. To find that out, you’ll have to read the book yourself.

“You know, when crows are given their names, it has great meaning. Your name defines who you are and what you will become. It is your fate. At least, for crows it is.”

Narrated by Clarence, who’s one sharp cookie, Corvus is a delightful read. Themes include friendship and transformation. Kindness. Honesty. Loneliness. Loss. Family. Loyalty. Hope. Masterfully written with pitch-perfect pacing, the plot is propelled by superb story-telling skills. It’s a lithe and agile read, moving as fast as Golden Tempo around the final turn at the Belmont Stakes. Descriptions are rich and robust, creating a You Are There vibe like you’re smack dab in the midst of the action. And in this warm and wonderful read, there’s plenty! Indeed, this charming and engaging story will grab young readers at page one and keep them turning pages until the very end.

“Well, I’ll come find you and let you know it’s me. Friends for life, Corvus, that’s what we are.”

There’s also the cycle of life. Life purpose. Perspective. The fabled one-eyed hawk, Zenith. The distinguished Monarch Extraordinaire, “Clarence Silkwood the Fourth, MD, Ph. D, LLC, Esquire.” Kimber: How’s that for a mouthful? Can I eat it?  

“But Corvus’s battle was with fear, and fear is a formidable opponent.”

Scene stealers: Valia the Valiant and Lily Jane, famer’s daughter extraordinaire. And oh yeah. The illustrations by Michael Schulbaum? Que magnifique!

We also loved the way the author skillfully weaves fun and fascinating facts about science and nature into the story without sounding like school. Or even worse, homework. Like how crows have a special relationship with a farm, helping out “in ways that other animals can’t.” That includes eating grubs and bugs that would ruin a garden. And keeping the rodent population down. How ‘bout this: Did you know that crows don’t bury their dead? They might place sticks, leaves or pebbles near them, but they don’t bury them. But crows are also one of few animals that hold funerals, grieve and mourn the loss of their loved one. Handy-dandy sections at the end include Fun Facts for Curious Readers, Nature Notes, and Discussion Questions.

“But you’ll never know how something is gonna turn out unless you stick around to find out.”

Brimming with wit, whimsy, and wonder, Corvus is another winner. So, if you’re on the look out for a book for children ages 8 to 12 that’s uplifting, inspiring, and informative without feeling like a classroom lecture, grab a copy of Corvus. Now would be good.

“The truth is, if you put kindness out into the world, it usually comes back to you.”

On a personal note: We got interrupted while reading this book. Had to put it down for a few weeks due to external circumstances beyond our control. But when we returned to its pages, we found the story waiting patiently for us. Welcoming us back. Like an old friend. Or a really, really good dog (Mom: Don’t tell Kimmi I said that, okay? I’ll never hear the end of it!)  We finished the balance of the book in one sitting. Couldn’t put it down!

“He sat down next to me so I wouldn’t be alone. Sometimes that is the best thing you can do for a friend. Just be there.”

Finally, Corvus is one of the finest children’s books we’ve read since a pig named Wilbur and a clever barn spider named Charlotte. Or a “sheep pig” named Babe. We like, Totally Love-ified it! You will, too.

Our Rating: 4.5


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From Battlefield to Blessing: One Veteran’s Journey to Peace

How can a World War II veteran find peace? After serving with the United States Army Air Corps as a dorsal turret gunner over the skies of Europe, Paul Cornelius Ferrant returns to his strawberry farm in Louisiana. He tries to pick up where he left off. But the war has left internal scars that no one can see. Except One.

This is a story of war and peace. And something Tolstoy missed. But you don’t have to in this faith-flavored biography

Biography of Paul Cornelius Ferrant: World War II Veteran in the Army of Peace

By Verena Ferrant Harp (Indie author, 2025)

Genre: Non-fiction/Biography

Pages (Print): 235

Via: Author Request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

Paul’s story is told in chronological order, beginning with his family history. This includes Paul’s family and their origins. (We got kinda lost in the whole “eighty-eight first cousins” thing.) Working the fam farm. Harvesting the farm’s cash crop, strawberries. (Kimber: Do they give out free samples? Askin’ for a friend.) Also Paul’s adventures and travels with a Flathead motorcycle, including picking fruit in Michigan as a migrant farm worker.

The next part follows Paul’s war experiences. Several chapters detail Paul’s military training at various camps and installations across the States, post-Pearl Harbor and Paul signing up to serve. This gives readers a feel for Paul’s history.

Paul eventually trains to be a gunner aboard an A-20 Havoc with the U.S. Army Air Corps. He ships to England, where he gets a firsthand introduction to the damage and devastation of war. Then it’s in the air. Flying combat missions over France with the 640th squadron. The narrative shines here, with full-bodied, accurate descriptions of air combat. Descriptions of Paul’s post-war feelings of isolation and “How do I pick up where I left off – or can I?” are poignant and heartfelt.

Paul marries and returns to farm life. But the war still dogs his memories. Is inner peace possible?

Meanwhile, Paul can’t figure out why his wife is continuously “vibrant and vigorous.” She certainly lives up to her name: Joy. Then he hears two more words: “God gives…” And “No other name…” And he begins his service in another army, the Army of Peace. This takes up the balance of the book. (We found it somewhat overlong. You may not.)

The story has good potential but is hampered by some rookie mistakes. These include use of the present tense and first person POV.

Biographies are almost universally written in the past tense (e.g., “He was born…” and “He traveled to…”). The reason is simple: A biography recounts a subject’s life and events that have already occurred. So the past tense provides a natural, reflective, and traditional flow for storytelling. Use of the present tense here is confusing. It doesn’t really work.

Another thing that doesn’t really work is use of the first person POV. While first person POV is typically reserved for autobiographies, third-person is the standard for an account of someone else’s life. Also, page 156? What is that?!

That being said, this book is meticulously researched and offers readers a You Are There look into a WWII vet’s life and struggles, pre-war, during war, and post-war. The author capably conveys Paul’s sense of humor, taste, and personality. The writing style welcomes you at the door and invites you to kick off your shoes. This biography doesn’t just tell a story; it pulls up a rocking chair, pours out a glass of lemonade, and makes you want to sit down and stay awhile. With some additional polish and pruning, it may convince you to stay a long while.

Our Rating: 3.0


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Why You’ll Need An Extra Fork for ‘Redeeming Rhubarb’

Redeeming Rhubarb

By Bob Richley

Genre: Fiction/Young Adult

Pages (print): 233

Via: Author Request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

Kimber: Mom! Mom! Are we gonna start that food book thingy today?

Mom: What “food book thingy”?

Kimber (insert eye roll here): You know. The one about dessert! Pie, to be exact!

Mom: You know you’re not allowed to eat dessert. Especially pie.

Kimber: Not even Strawberry Rhubarb?

Mom: This I gotta see… or taste, as the case may be.

So here we go:

Read more: Why You’ll Need An Extra Fork for ‘Redeeming Rhubarb’

“Enemies can become friends, but it takes a long time to trust.” 

This delightful fiction story gently shows readers young and old how to do just that.

The 4-1-1

Rhubarb the mouse lives with his family in a decrepit factory in Colorado. He harbors deep resentment towards rats after his brother was killed by one.  When Barnabas the poetry-writing rat and his family move in, Rhubarb isn’t exactly turning cartwheels. But his wife Sherry, a formidable mouse in her own right, welcomes the new neighbors along with their mice children and a particularly precocious daughter named Strawberry (Hello, Reepicheep!). Strawberry also has big dreams. Hello, Mars. But that’s all we’re gonna say about that, capiche?

Meanwhile, Miley the cat is hungry. So are her kittens. While searching for her son Milo, mama cat winds up in a scrape with a pack of street dogs. The pack leader is Bailey, a Rottweiler. How this unlikely menagerie establishes common ground with each other and a kindly veterinarian named Bart will wring tears from a turnip in this unforgettable story of adventure, courage, faith, kindness, and grace. Oh, and “the letter”? Mom cried.

Warm and winsome, the writing style is reminiscent of beloved children’s authors like Beatrix Potter and E.B. White.  Although the story deals with some weighty themes, it avoids coming across as preachy or pedantic. The plot is packed with adventures both human and animal. Briskly paced, the story will keep readers turning pages until the very end. 

Sparkling with wit and whimsy, Redeeming Rhubarb strikes just the right balance between action/adventure fantasy and heartwarming parable. Think Aesop’s Fables meets Stuart Little. From mice and rats to cats and dogs and a dedicated veterinarian with a heart of gold, the characters leap off the page and into your heart. 

Tip: Alert readers will note the deliberate pairing of two classic flavors in this novel, Strawberry and Rhubarb. Two very different flavors that work together to form one surprisingly delicious treat! Preferably with a light, flakey crust. (Kimber: Is it dinnertime yet? What?) That is no accident. It’s also quite clever. And the cover art? Well. Who can resist that? 

Inspired by the devastating floods that swept through Boulder, Colorado in 2013, Redeeming Rhubarb is a winsome mix of adventure, peril, and second chances. It includes themes of prejudice, courage, kindness, and forgiveness. It’s structurally sound and gently faith-flavored and imparts valuable life lessons without sermonizing. Indeed, Redeeming Rhubarb is sure to be a hit with its target audience of children ages thirteen to eighteen. Note: Though written for young adults, the story and its Christian themes will have broad appeal to older audiences as well. 

Redeeming Rhubarb is one of the finest young adult stories we’ve read in recent memory. You’ll love it! And that’s no “pie crust promise”!

Kimber: You gonna eat that?

Our Rating: 5.0

BYO fork!


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Ordinary People, Extraordinary Impact: How ‘Kindness Heroes’ Ignites Hope

You gonna eat that?

Kimber here. Saying you might want to stock up on tissue before tackling one of the best non-fiction books we’ve read all year. It’s Jackie Kurtz’s Kindness Heroes: Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things. Cuz we just finished it. And Mom is doing that sniffly, sparkly-eyed thing. Again. Cuz, ya know. Mom. (Insert eye roll here.)

We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

I’ll let Mom tell ya more:

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‘My Particular World’: Smooth Southern Memoir

My Particular World: A Memoir of Ghosts, Gardens and Delta Dirt

By William Gardner

Gerne: Fiction

Pages: 85

Via: Author Request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book for honest review.

“Mm! Mm! Good!” spake I, Kimber the Magnificent whilst smacking my lips as noisily as possible.

“Whaddya mean, Kimster?” says Her Royal Momness.

“It’s this new book we read recently. You know. That coming-of-age tale set in the South. As in, Mm! Mm! Good!”

Mom: “Hate to break it to you, Kimmi. But ‘Mm! Mm! Good’ is Campbell’s Soup. Dontcha mean ‘Finger lickin’ good?’

Kimber: “You eat what you want, and I’ll eat what I want, okay?

Anyway, your favorite dynamic book duo is here to tell you about a new book by William Gardner. (See our review of the prior book in Gardner’s Southern Adventure series, Me, Boo and the Goob, here.) We mostly liked World. But we’ll also tell you why we DNFed it. So, keep your hair on, Cookie.

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GUEST POST: When Grief Changed Everything, Kindness Became the Way Forward

By Jackie Kurtz, Author of Kindness Heroes: Ordinary People Doing Extraordinary Things

There was a time when my life felt settled, predictable, and safe. I was a retired data analyst living on Maryland’s Eastern Shore with my husband, enjoying the rhythms of family visits, nature, and the quiet comfort of a life well lived. Then everything changed. When our son Matt died in 2017, grief didn’t just break my heart, it imploded the life I knew. The future I had imagined vanished overnight, replaced by a silence and emptiness I didn’t know how to navigate. I was completely shattered.

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Flawed and Faith-Filled: The Complex Legacy of Elisabeth Elliot

Being Elisabeth Elliot: The Authorized Biography of Elisabeth’s Later Years

By Ellen Vaughn (B&H Publishing Group, 2023)

Genre: Non-Fiction

Pages: 278

Visa: Library book sale

Who was she?

This question lies at the heart of one of the finest biographies we’ve ever read, Being Elisabeth Elliot. The second in a two-part biographical series on the late missionary and Christian thought leader, Being picks up where Becoming Elisabeth Elliot leaves off. (Here’s our review of the latter: A Story That Strengthens: ‘Becoming Elisabeth Elliot.’)

Elisabeth Elliot has long held a top slot in our list of All-Time Favorite Authors.  Her life was mixed with “good, bad, glory, pain, tedium, hope, and despair.” Elisabeth’s first husband, Jim Elliot, was martyred in Ecuador along with four other American missionaries in the 1950s. Thereafter, Elisabeth’s life of obedience, timeless teachings, and best-selling books influenced both believers and seekers of the Christian faith for over fifty years.

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12+ ICU Dos and Dont’s – Part 1 of 2

Kimber here. Letting you know that Super Dad is out of ICU. And that nasty hospital place. Ninety miles from home. And ME!  The nerve! (For background, see January 1 post.)

So we’re taking a U-turn on the blog today. Hope you don’t mind, Sweet Cakes. And if you do? Tough bouncies, Toots. Cuz Super Dad and Her Royal Momness have been away for four weeks. Four. Weeks. Eleven days in that nasty hospital place for Dad: Acute Hypoxic Respiratory Failure and Aspiration Pneumonia. And a bunch of other yucky stuff. It meant  eight days in ICU. Three days on life support. Two+ weeks of initial convalescence at my brother’s house. Nearer the hospital. Not that I was counting or anything.

Never fear! Yours Truly is on the job, taking care of Super Dad.

They’ve been away since December 22! Missed Christmas completely. They say coming home to a houseful of Christmas decorations and unopened gifts on January 17 was “very weird.” But Dorothy Gale got it right: “There’s no place like home!” (I don’t know what the big deal is about Dorothy. We all know Toto was the brains of that outfit.)

Anyway, we’re gonna do Part I of what the hoo-mans learned from that hospital experience thingy. Throwin’ this is in for free. Stay tuned for Part 2 later. Here goes:

12+ ICU DOS and DONT’S. Based on recent experience. Consider it a Public Service Announcement:

***

“He’s in ICU.” Three words no one wants to hear. But when you know someone who has, what can you do? How can you help a close friend or loved one who’s just heard those words?

Here are some tips, suggestions and 12+ Dos and Don’ts on how you can help someone with a family member in or recently discharged from ICU/CCU:

FIRST, the patient’s family is probably in shock. No one plans to wind up in ICU.

So DON’T PRESS FOR DETAILS OR UPDATES. They’ve just walked into a war zone. They may not know which end is up, let alone how to communicate same. They may not have all the details on their loved one’s condition, diagnosis, or prognosis. Or be in a place where they can process that info. Be patient. Get updates from others or a family spox if you can.

Additionally, admission to ICU/CCU can be SUDDEN AND UNEXPECTED. Family members may arrive at the hospital with nothing but the clothes on their back. Can you grab or get some personal belongings to them? A change of clothes? Reading glasses? Soap? Shampoo? Lotion? Toothpaste and toothbrush, etc.

Offer to MANAGE LOGISTICS if you can. Be the point person to update other friends/family. With their approval, set up a Private Facebook group as a central repository of information to avoid duplicating effort (exhausting and time-consuming). Help arrange visitor rotations so family members can rest.

⭐️Here are some additional Dos and Don’ts for family members with a loved one in ICU/CCU: ⭐️

DO:

  1. PRAY. First and foremost. If you’re not sure how or where to start, check out Samaritan’s Purse or the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (Google is your friend.)
  2. DO VISIT IF YOU CAN. Your presence is a huge gift to those with a loved one who’s critically ill. Be sure to check with the hospital in advance regarding visiting hours and policies. Your calm presence can be very comforting.
  3. DO ‘GO GREYHOUND’. If you can get family members to and from the ICU for visits, offer to drive. Be on time.
  4. DO OFFER TO PICK UP up any necessary medical supplies. So the family has one less thing to worry about logistically.
  5. DO COMPILE A CARE PACKAGE for when the patient is discharged. Include appropriate items as indicated/needed like anti-bacterial wipes, a box of tissue, herbal teas. Lysol spray disinfectant. Honey. O.J. A roll or two of Life Savers. Lip balm. Soothing lotions, a cozy blanket or warm socks, etc.
  6. DO BUY THEM A GAS CARD.
  7. DO CONSIDER A GIFT SUBSCRIPTION to Netflix or Apple TV, etc. (Tip: Formula 1 racing a la Netflix’s “Drive to Survive” is addictive. Just sayin’.)
  8. DO OFFER TO WALK THEIR DOG. Hellllloooo?
  9. DO COOK AND DELIVER meals, with their approval. Focus on healthy, nutritious meals with lean protein (poultry. fish, legumes) and fresh produce. Bring food in disposable containers they don’t need to wash or return. Label and date each item so they’re easily identifiable when grabbing them out of the fridge/freezer.
  10. IF THEY’RE A READER, DO consider an Audible subscription or some audio books from the library.
  11. DO send a GET WELL CARD. A real one. Like, paper.

DON’T
1. DO NOT CALL. Those with a loved one in ICU are running on fumes and adrenaline. A phone call can be intrusive and disorienting, esp. if it comes when they’re in conference with a provider or other medical professional. They’ll call when they’re able. Message, email or text instead. End your texts/messsges with “no need to respond” to give them space and room to decompress.

  1. DON’T EXPECT quick responses to communiques. Or chit-chat. Per the above, those with a critically ill loved one are EXHAUSTED. They may not have the energy to converse. Just be there. Sitting with them quietly or offering a hug is huge.
  2. DON’T say “Call if you need anything.” Newsflash: Most people won’t. Those with seriously ill loved ones are under intense stress. They may feel overwhelmed. Hit by a tsunami. Don’t add to that by expecting them to call you with a list. Besides. They may not even know what they “need.” Their whole world has imploded. Been reduced to 3 letters: ICU. So take the initiative. Think of what YOU’D want. Google. Check with nurses. Go Nike. And just do it.
  3. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY if someone with a loved one in ICU doesn’t return your call or respond to a message right away. They’re not being rude. They’re prioritizing.
  4. DON’T say “KEEP ME POSTED” or “Keep me updated.” That puts the ball back into the family’s court. Hellllo? Their plate is full. They don’t need anything else. So kindly don’t ask for or expect individual updates. See “Don’t press for details” and “Manage Logistics” above.

FINALLY:
➡️ The REAL WORK of recovery begins AFTER hospital discharge. It can be draining + exhausting for both patient and caregiver (family).

You can help by offering to “spell” the home caregiver so they can grab a shower, some fresh air, or a nap. Give them a break so they can recharge their batteries.

BTW. Chocolate can work wonders. Just sayin’. 😎 – Mom

For companion commentary, keep an eye out for 15+ Ways You Can Help an ICU Patient. Coming soon.

Disclaimer: Nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice. Always consult your doctor.