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15+ Ways You Can Help an ICU Patient – Part 2 of 2

Someone you know has a loved one in ICU/CCU. You care. Want to help. But you’re not sure how. Here are 15+ ways you can help a patient in ICU/CCU. Based on recent experience a la Her Royal Momness and Super Dad:

  1. PRAY.
  2. VISIT IF YOU CAN. Patients often feel comforted by hearing a familiar voice and sensing your physical presence. Be sure to check with the hospital in advance regarding visiting hours and policies.
  3. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT ASK for directions to the hospital. ICU patients may not even know where they are, let alone how to get you there. Get the name and address of the hospital from someone else. Figure out how to get there on your own.
  4. COMMUNICATE with Nurses: Check in with them to understand how long to stay, what stimulation the patient can handle, and if they need anything.
  5. AVOID PLATITUDES: “Everything happens for a reason,” “Stay strong,” etc. Phrases like this can come across as dismissive or trite. Better: “You’re in our daily thoughts and prayers” or “We’re here for you.”
  6. HELP WITH PERSONAL CARE: Ask the nurse if you can comb the patient’s hair, put a cool cloth on their forehead, etc.
  7. REMIND AND REORIENT. The patient may feel confused and disoriented. Tell them the day, time, and what’s happening. Let them know how their favorite sports team is doing or what the weather is like. Keep your voice gentle and low.
  8. FOLLOW HYGIENE RULES. Wash your hands/use hand sanitizer before entering and leaving their room. Every. Time. Gown and glove up as directed. Avoid touching equipment.
  9. AVOID inanities like “Get well soon” or “best wishes for a speedy recovery.” There’s no such thing as a “speedy recovery” vis-a-vis ICU. Better: “We’re pulling for you!” or “Hope you feel better and get stronger every day.”
  10. DO NOT SEND FLOWERS. Most hospitals won’t allow flowers in the ICU due to infection risks (pollen, mold, bacteria). Save the bouquets for later. Consider simple gifts instead: puzzles, books, soft blankets (check hospital policy), or non-food items that aren’t strong-smelling. Always call the hospital first.
  11. HOLDING the patient’s hand or providing a gentle touch can be very reassuring. Check with the nurses first.
  12. If the patient is SEDATED, TALK TO THEM anyway. Per ICU nurses, the patient can hear when under sedation. They just can’t respond. A calm, familiar voice can be immensely comforting and reassuring. Super Dad can recall hearing snippets of conversation while sedated. Also bits and pieces from the books I brought to read aloud (“Inkheart” by Cornelia Funke. In case you’re wondering. And “Henry V.” Nobody’s perfect).
  13. SUPPORT the Patient by supporting their Family: Food, coffee, small gift or gas cards can be very helpful.
  14. Speaking of which, GIFT CARDS for the hospital cafeteria are terrif! On-site cafeterias are hugely convenient, enabling the patient’s fam to grab a snack or meal without leaving the hospital campus. The food is usually very good. It’s also very expensive. (A piping hot bowl of tomato basil soup wasn’t exactly what Mom had planned for Christmas Day. But it hit the spot nonetheless.)
  15. OFFER to do chores for the patient’s household (collect mail, groceries, lawn, etc.).
  16. PLEASE REFRAIN from discussing or referencing future plans, activities or events until/unless the patient indicates an interest in same. Events or plans that are weeks or months down the road are unfathomable and may feel overwhelming to someone who’s critically ill. Remember: One. Day. At. A. Time.
Ugh

ALSO:
Remember to thank the NURSING STAFF. These highly skilled professionals are amazing‼️💯 Yea, nurses! 👏👏👏

WHEN SOMEONE says, “Let me know if you need anything,” ask, “What can you do?”

A brand new day!

FINALLY, one of the best “gifts” you can give an ICU patient is time. Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t expect them to “bounce back” or return to “normal” schedules or activities any time soon. They’ve just been thru the wringer. ICU is a traumatic experience. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Getting back to “normal” can take weeks or months. Or more. So don’t rush them. Give them the time and space they need to recover. Heal. Decompress. In every respect. On their timetable. Not yours.

Capiche?

Me and Super Dad!

For companion commentary, see prior post: 12+ ICU Dos and Dont’s.

Nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice. Always consult your doctor.

***

When will we get back to book blogging? Good question! No idea. But we’ve got some ideas in the pipeline. In case you’re wondering, Buttercup. So thanks for your patience. We appreciate every kind word and note of encouragement. You’re PAWsome!


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12+ ICU Dos and Dont’s – Part 1 of 2

Kimber here. Letting you know that Super Dad is out of ICU. And that nasty hospital place. Ninety miles from home. And ME!  The nerve! (For background, see January 1 post.)

So we’re taking a U-turn on the blog today. Hope you don’t mind, Sweet Cakes. And if you do? Tough bouncies, Toots. Cuz Super Dad and Her Royal Momness have been away for four weeks. Four. Weeks. Eleven days in that nasty hospital place for Dad: Acute Hypoxic Respiratory Failure and Aspiration Pneumonia. And a bunch of other yucky stuff. It meant  eight days in ICU. Three days on life support. Two+ weeks of initial convalescence at my brother’s house. Nearer the hospital. Not that I was counting or anything.

Never fear! Yours Truly is on the job, taking care of Super Dad.

They’ve been away since December 22! Missed Christmas completely. They say coming home to a houseful of Christmas decorations and unopened gifts on January 17 was “very weird.” But Dorothy Gale got it right: “There’s no place like home!” (I don’t know what the big deal is about Dorothy. We all know Toto was the brains of that outfit.)

Anyway, we’re gonna do Part I of what the hoo-mans learned from that hospital experience thingy. Throwin’ this is in for free. Stay tuned for Part 2 later. Here goes:

12+ ICU DOS and DONT’S. Based on recent experience. Consider it a Public Service Announcement:

***

“He’s in ICU.” Three words no one wants to hear. But when you know someone who has, what can you do? How can you help a close friend or loved one who’s just heard those words?

Here are some tips, suggestions and 12+ Dos and Don’ts on how you can help someone with a family member in or recently discharged from ICU/CCU:

FIRST, the patient’s family is probably in shock. No one plans to wind up in ICU.

So DON’T PRESS FOR DETAILS OR UPDATES. They’ve just walked into a war zone. They may not know which end is up, let alone how to communicate same. They may not have all the details on their loved one’s condition, diagnosis, or prognosis. Or be in a place where they can process that info. Be patient. Get updates from others or a family spox if you can.

Additionally, admission to ICU/CCU can be SUDDEN AND UNEXPECTED. Family members may arrive at the hospital with nothing but the clothes on their back. Can you grab or get some personal belongings to them? A change of clothes? Reading glasses? Soap? Shampoo? Lotion? Toothpaste and toothbrush, etc.

Offer to MANAGE LOGISTICS if you can. Be the point person to update other friends/family. With their approval, set up a Private Facebook group as a central repository of information to avoid duplicating effort (exhausting and time-consuming). Help arrange visitor rotations so family members can rest.

⭐️Here are some additional Dos and Don’ts for family members with a loved one in ICU/CCU: ⭐️

DO:

  1. PRAY. First and foremost. If you’re not sure how or where to start, check out Samaritan’s Purse or the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (Google is your friend.)
  2. DO VISIT IF YOU CAN. Your presence is a huge gift to those with a loved one who’s critically ill. Be sure to check with the hospital in advance regarding visiting hours and policies. Your calm presence can be very comforting.
  3. DO ‘GO GREYHOUND’. If you can get family members to and from the ICU for visits, offer to drive. Be on time.
  4. DO OFFER TO PICK UP up any necessary medical supplies. So the family has one less thing to worry about logistically.
  5. DO COMPILE A CARE PACKAGE for when the patient is discharged. Include appropriate items as indicated/needed like anti-bacterial wipes, a box of tissue, herbal teas. Lysol spray disinfectant. Honey. O.J. A roll or two of Life Savers. Lip balm. Soothing lotions, a cozy blanket or warm socks, etc.
  6. DO BUY THEM A GAS CARD.
  7. DO CONSIDER A GIFT SUBSCRIPTION to Netflix or Apple TV, etc. (Tip: Formula 1 racing a la Netflix’s “Drive to Survive” is addictive. Just sayin’.)
  8. DO OFFER TO WALK THEIR DOG. Hellllloooo?
  9. DO COOK AND DELIVER meals, with their approval. Focus on healthy, nutritious meals with lean protein (poultry. fish, legumes) and fresh produce. Bring food in disposable containers they don’t need to wash or return. Label and date each item so they’re easily identifiable when grabbing them out of the fridge/freezer.
  10. IF THEY’RE A READER, DO consider an Audible subscription or some audio books from the library.
  11. DO send a GET WELL CARD. A real one. Like, paper.

DON’T
1. DO NOT CALL. Those with a loved one in ICU are running on fumes and adrenaline. A phone call can be intrusive and disorienting, esp. if it comes when they’re in conference with a provider or other medical professional. They’ll call when they’re able. Message, email or text instead. End your texts/messsges with “no need to respond” to give them space and room to decompress.

  1. DON’T EXPECT quick responses to communiques. Or chit-chat. Per the above, those with a critically ill loved one are EXHAUSTED. They may not have the energy to converse. Just be there. Sitting with them quietly or offering a hug is huge.
  2. DON’T say “Call if you need anything.” Newsflash: Most people won’t. Those with seriously ill loved ones are under intense stress. They may feel overwhelmed. Hit by a tsunami. Don’t add to that by expecting them to call you with a list. Besides. They may not even know what they “need.” Their whole world has imploded. Been reduced to 3 letters: ICU. So take the initiative. Think of what YOU’D want. Google. Check with nurses. Go Nike. And just do it.
  3. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY if someone with a loved one in ICU doesn’t return your call or respond to a message right away. They’re not being rude. They’re prioritizing.
  4. DON’T say “KEEP ME POSTED” or “Keep me updated.” That puts the ball back into the family’s court. Hellllo? Their plate is full. They don’t need anything else. So kindly don’t ask for or expect individual updates. See “Don’t press for details” and “Manage Logistics” above.

FINALLY:
➡️ The REAL WORK of recovery begins AFTER hospital discharge. It can be draining + exhausting for both patient and caregiver (family).

You can help by offering to “spell” the home caregiver so they can grab a shower, some fresh air, or a nap. Give them a break so they can recharge their batteries.

BTW. Chocolate can work wonders. Just sayin’. 😎 – Mom

For companion commentary, keep an eye out for 15+ Ways You Can Help an ICU Patient. Coming soon.

Disclaimer: Nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice. Always consult your doctor.


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10 Warm & Wonderful Dog Books For Wet Weather (Or Anytime)

I don’t know about your neck of the dog run, but here in the Northwest it’s been pouring rain for so long, I may be sprouting gills.

Not that I mind, mind you. Mom says this is great reading weather. Something about curling up by the fire with a good book. I don’t really get it. I just like sitting in her lap while she turns pages. And tells me what a “good dog” I am.

As if I didn’t know that already.

Anyway, here are 10+ top picks fur wet weather. (That’s not a typo.) These books are brisk and engaging. With good solid story lines. Lots of adventure. As much “flavor” and “texture” as those beef broth and steak treat thingies Mom makes. And of course sparkling canine personalities. Like mine. You’ll enjoy these even if you’re a feline fan. (Yech! Can’t believe I just said that.):

  1. The Black Dogs Project: Extraordinary Black Dogs and Why We Can’t Forget Them. Photography by Fred Levy.  Poignant personal narratives combined with stunning photography of some of the most beautiful canines on the planet! (You might detect a slight bias here. See photo, above.)

2. Dog On It: A Chet and Bernie Mystery– Spencer Quinn. (Told from the dog’s point of view) A good ‘ole fashioned “whodunit” mystery with a dog who’s way smarter than Bernie, his crime-solving human. Laugh out loud funny in places.

3. Where the Red Fern Grows – Wilson Rawls. Old Dan. Li’l Ann. A young boy growing up in the Ozarks and sacrificial love. Bring tissue.

4. Winterdance: The Fine Madness of Running the Iditarod – Gary Paulsen. Told in the first person. You can almost smell the cold and feel the snow crunch!

5. The Empty City (Survivors #1) – Erin Hunter. Lucky is a golden-haired mutt with a nose for survival. He’s always been a loner, relying on his instincts to get by. Then the Big Growl strikes. Suddenly the ground is split wide open. The Trap House is destroyed. And all the longpaws have disappeared. Is it time to find a Pack?

6. The Journey Back – Priscilla Cummings. #2 in the Red Kayak series. Not strictly a dog book. But Digger’s daring escape from a juvenile detention facility includes hijacking a tractor trailer, “borrowing” a bicycle, stealing a canoe, and befriending a stray mutt who becomes Digger’s best friend.

7. Puppies, Dogs, and Blue Northers – Gary Paulsen. Minnesota author and dog musher Gary Paulsen reflects on the growth of his sled dogs as he and his animals discover the world around them.

8. Izzy & Lenore: Two Dogs, An Unexpected Journey, and Me (Jon Katz)

A story of faithful love, unswerving devotion, and understanding without words, Izzy & Lenore: Two Dogs, An Unexpected Journey, and Me effervesces like a bottle of Cristal Brut Methusalah.

An abandoned, half-feral border collie reluctantly taken in by author Jon Katz, Izzy becomes a hospice dog. Somehow Izzy learns what can’t be taught: how to help the dying leave this world with dignity – “Oh! A dog! Where on earth did you come from, you handsome thing?” – and how to best comfort those left behind.

Lenore – from the Edgar Allen Poe poem – is a “portable happiness generator.” “The UPS driver threatened to steal her,” says Katz. Big hearted and good natured, Lenore can pierce the armor of the hardest heart. As Katz battles a deep depression and phantoms from his past, the rambunctious Lab pup gently reminds him why he wanted to work with animals in the first place.

9.  The Dog Who Was There (Ron Morasco).

Set in first century Jerusalem,  The Dog Who Was There is a heart-warming, surprising story about a little dog, Barley (that’s not a typo), and a Teacher from Galilee. This wonderful story is soaked in loss, loyalty, sadness, promise, and Great Joy. I’ve never read anything quite like it. You won’t want to miss this one.

And of course:

10. Forever, Eve: The True Story of a “Cast-Off” Dog Who Never Stopped Loving

Wait. Is that a patch of blue overhead?


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Which is Better: Book or Movie?

“Kimber, what do you think is better? Book or movie?”

Depends, says I, Kimber the Magnificent. Usually on whether we’re reading or watching before or after dinner. Lemme backtrack for a min and explain-ish.

Book Memories

Her Momness has been skipping down Memory Lane via books for much of the summer.  She’s re-visited a ton and a half of old favorites. See: The Dog Days and Children’s Classics.

Poppins?

The other day Mom re-read Mary Poppins, by P.L. Travers. Just a few days after watching the Disney movie with Julie Andres and Dick Van Dyke. Having read and watched both versions within a few days of each other, Her Momness was somewhat astonished. At how far apart they are.

Granted, there are things you can and can’t do on the silver screen that you can do in a book. Some book scenes just don’t translate well onto film. But in the case of Mary Poppins The Book vs. Mary Poppins the Movie, the two are almost oceans apart. (We loved Saving Mr. Banks, thank you very much.)

Here are some select examples from Mom:

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13 Ways to Finish Summer Reading Strong

Can you believe September is just around the corner? Summer reading is winding down. Mom is swamped. Or chowing down on cookies ‘n cream ice cream. (Nobody’s perfect.) But hey! You know me, right? Kimber the Wonder Dog is always up for a new book!

So. Here at no extra charge are 13 ways to rock your home stretch reading. From inspirational/personal development to award winners, adventure stories, cookbooks or books set in places you’ve always wanted to visit, there’s something here for everyone. (I’m partial to #2. But let’s not get picky here, okay?)

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SPOON UP 3 Hefty Helpings of Historical Fiction!

You know Her Momness loves historical fiction, right?

“If historical fiction was a flavor, it’d be raspberry white chocolate cheesecake! With double hot fudge!” croweth Mom.

Why she says this, I don’t know. I do know she’s breaking out her Happy Dance. Because we’re reviewing three sturdy historical fiction titles today! All set during World War II.

Break out some extra spoons for Lilac Girls, Irena’s War, and The Orphan’s Tale:

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Don’t Be This Author – or – How to Get a Negative Review in 3 Easy Steps

Shhh! Mom’s snoozing. So it’s just us, okay?

Can we talk? Like, about book reviews? Cuz Mom and I are getting flooded with requests for book reviews. We love it! But we also want to be efficient. So we decided to set and clarify some basic ground rules. As in, what to avoid. Or Don’t Be This Author. With this kind of book.

So, here’s how to get a negative review in three easy steps (Examples taken from actual events. Names and places sort of changed to protect the not-so-innocent.):

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The Truth About Books (kindly hurry up with that steak!)

“Eureka!” says Mom the other day. I have no idea why she says this. But she says it a lot. Especially when she’s lugging another truck load of “books” home from The Book Place.

Me, I’m not crazy about The Book Place. Ever since Mom pointed out the “guide dogs and service animals only” sign. What am I, chopped Salisbury steak with extra gravy? Tri-tip roast? A nice, thick burger sizzling merrily on the outdoor grill?

Wait. What was I saying?

Oh yeah. “Eureka” and The Book Place.

“See what we have here?” says Mom, pulling out one of those big square reading thingies from a library “book bag” big enough to choke a Brontosaurus. “This is a book,” she explains. “Black letters on white pages.” She fans the pages.

I sniff said pages. Can I eat it? Something tells me no. As in, BIG N-O.

“David Copperfield!” Mom announces. I’m still sniffing. “A classic!” she says.

Am I supposed to be impressed?

“Wait! There’s more!” Mom crows, excavating deeper into the Bronto bag. She unearths more reading thingies. Like Pride and Prejudice. A Raisin in the Sun. The Black Stallion Returns. Thunder Rolling in the Mountains.

Still sniffing…

Meanwhile, I’m beginning to wonder about these reading thingies she calls “books.” They don’t have any buttons. Blinking lights. Bonus levels. App updates. In fact, books really don’t have any sounds at all. And not much smell, either. (Dust maybe.)

This doesn’t seem to slow Mom down.

“Look,” she says, cheerfully paging through something called Anchor in the Storm.

You’d think she just discovered filet mignon, medium well.

“Finding a good book is like finding buried treasure!” Mom continues. “It’s an adventure waiting to happen!”

She tells me that these reading thingies – “books” – can take you on travels only you can imagine. Through forests thick with facts. Whole galaxies dripping with starry fiction. A book can introduce you to lifelong friends, says Mom. Keep you awake all night until The End. A book can be a friend if you just want to be by yourself in the highest peak of a status-update-free mountain. And the only “storage space” that runs out in a book is what’s in your own head.

Also, a book doesn’t run on batteries. Never needs a recharge. Or a power cord. Doesn’t have an off button. You don’t need to remember a password to get inside. And a book won’t unfriend you. Ever.

At the end of the day, you can put down a book and it won’t mind. Because, says Mom, a book will always be there, waiting for you to come back. Pick up where you left off. Like an old friend welcoming you home. Whether you’re a “service animal” or not.

Mom may be on to something. I just hope she hurries up with that steak.

Brontosaurus image: Wikimedia Commons


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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMBER the Bookish Dog

Kimber the Magnificent here. You probably noticed I nosed my way into Mom’s ‘bookish’ blog awhile back. Kind of like the way I nose into a New York steak. Top sirloin. Meatloaf. Whatever. Nobody’s perfect.

Anyway, Mom says a whole raft of new readers have recently joined us. I’m not sure what that means. But if Mom’s happy, I’m happy. See my tail wagging? We wanted to say Thank you and Welcome!

Also, for any of you looking for any last-minute gift ideas, today’s my birthday. I’m nine! Just sayin’.

Now then. Since it’s my birthday today and some of you may be new readers, Mom thinks some “introductions” may be in order. So here goes:

My name is Kimber. I’m a “rescue dog.” Part Golden Retriever. Part black Lab. A lot Border Collie. That accounts for my smarts and my speed. Mom says both are Off The Charts. Whatever that means.

By way of background, I joined my forever family in August 2016. I was about ten weeks old. (Not that I’m keeping track. But Mom is. You know how moms are.)

One of my baby pictures. I know. I’m adorable.

Mom calls me “Kimber the Magnifcent.” I don’t know why. She just does. But you can call me Kimmi. All my friends do.

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How I Was Struck By a Random Act of Kindness

The day before… Some very sketchy looking bales of hay.

Her Mom-ness says kindness can be hard to find these days. Elusive. Rare. So when you find it – or it finds you – be thankful. And reciprocate.

I’m not sure what that means. But it makes Mom smile. So it must be good. Like the other day.

We were out for a looong walk. Miles from home, her Mom-ness and I met up with another dog in a school playground. We played chase the ball for a while. Then the other dog went home with her Mom.

After the last ball toss, I came back limping. Mom noticed. We were a long way from my nice, soft doggie bed. Our water was almost gone. I could barely walk. How were we going to get home?

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