Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie

Category Archives: Musings


by Leave a comment

15+ Ways You Can Help an ICU Patient – Part 2 of 2

Someone you know has a loved one in ICU/CCU. You care. Want to help. But you’re not sure how. Here are 15+ ways you can help a patient in ICU/CCU. Based on recent experience a la Her Royal Momness and Super Dad:

  1. PRAY.
  2. VISIT IF YOU CAN. Patients often feel comforted by hearing a familiar voice and sensing your physical presence. Be sure to check with the hospital in advance regarding visiting hours and policies.
  3. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT ASK for directions to the hospital. ICU patients may not even know where they are, let alone how to get you there. Get the name and address of the hospital from someone else. Figure out how to get there on your own.
  4. COMMUNICATE with Nurses: Check in with them to understand how long to stay, what stimulation the patient can handle, and if they need anything.
  5. AVOID PLATITUDES: “Everything happens for a reason,” “Stay strong,” etc. Phrases like this can come across as dismissive or trite. Better: “You’re in our daily thoughts and prayers” or “We’re here for you.”
  6. HELP WITH PERSONAL CARE: Ask the nurse if you can comb the patient’s hair, put a cool cloth on their forehead, etc.
  7. REMIND AND REORIENT. The patient may feel confused and disoriented. Tell them the day, time, and what’s happening. Let them know how their favorite sports team is doing or what the weather is like. Keep your voice gentle and low.
  8. FOLLOW HYGIENE RULES. Wash your hands/use hand sanitizer before entering and leaving their room. Every. Time. Gown and glove up as directed. Avoid touching equipment.
  9. AVOID inanities like “Get well soon” or “best wishes for a speedy recovery.” There’s no such thing as a “speedy recovery” vis-a-vis ICU. Better: “We’re pulling for you!” or “Hope you feel better and get stronger every day.”
  10. DO NOT SEND FLOWERS. Most hospitals won’t allow flowers in the ICU due to infection risks (pollen, mold, bacteria). Save the bouquets for later. Consider simple gifts instead: puzzles, books, soft blankets (check hospital policy), or non-food items that aren’t strong-smelling. Always call the hospital first.
  11. HOLDING the patient’s hand or providing a gentle touch can be very reassuring. Check with the nurses first.
  12. If the patient is SEDATED, TALK TO THEM anyway. Per ICU nurses, the patient can hear when under sedation. They just can’t respond. A calm, familiar voice can be immensely comforting and reassuring. Super Dad can recall hearing snippets of conversation while sedated. Also bits and pieces from the books I brought to read aloud (“Inkheart” by Cornelia Funke. In case you’re wondering. And “Henry V.” Nobody’s perfect).
  13. SUPPORT the Patient by supporting their Family: Food, coffee, small gift or gas cards can be very helpful.
  14. Speaking of which, GIFT CARDS for the hospital cafeteria are terrif! On-site cafeterias are hugely convenient, enabling the patient’s fam to grab a snack or meal without leaving the hospital campus. The food is usually very good. It’s also very expensive. (A piping hot bowl of tomato basil soup wasn’t exactly what Mom had planned for Christmas Day. But it hit the spot nonetheless.)
  15. OFFER to do chores for the patient’s household (collect mail, groceries, lawn, etc.).
  16. PLEASE REFRAIN from discussing or referencing future plans, activities or events until/unless the patient indicates an interest in same. Events or plans that are weeks or months down the road are unfathomable and may feel overwhelming to someone who’s critically ill. Remember: One. Day. At. A. Time.
Ugh

ALSO:
Remember to thank the NURSING STAFF. These highly skilled professionals are amazing‼️💯 Yea, nurses! 👏👏👏

WHEN SOMEONE says, “Let me know if you need anything,” ask, “What can you do?”

A brand new day!

FINALLY, one of the best “gifts” you can give an ICU patient is time. Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t expect them to “bounce back” or return to “normal” schedules or activities any time soon. They’ve just been thru the wringer. ICU is a traumatic experience. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Getting back to “normal” can take weeks or months. Or more. So don’t rush them. Give them the time and space they need to recover. Heal. Decompress. In every respect. On their timetable. Not yours.

Capiche?

Me and Super Dad!

For companion commentary, see prior post: 12+ ICU Dos and Dont’s.

Nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice. Always consult your doctor.

***

When will we get back to book blogging? Good question! No idea. But we’ve got some ideas in the pipeline. In case you’re wondering, Buttercup. So thanks for your patience. We appreciate every kind word and note of encouragement. You’re PAWsome!


by 2 Comments

12+ ICU Dos and Dont’s – Part 1 of 2

Kimber here. Letting you know that Super Dad is out of ICU. And that nasty hospital place. Ninety miles from home. And ME!  The nerve! (For background, see January 1 post.)

So we’re taking a U-turn on the blog today. Hope you don’t mind, Sweet Cakes. And if you do? Tough bouncies, Toots. Cuz Super Dad and Her Royal Momness have been away for four weeks. Four. Weeks. Eleven days in that nasty hospital place for Dad: Acute Hypoxic Respiratory Failure and Aspiration Pneumonia. And a bunch of other yucky stuff. It meant  eight days in ICU. Three days on life support. Two+ weeks of initial convalescence at my brother’s house. Nearer the hospital. Not that I was counting or anything.

Never fear! Yours Truly is on the job, taking care of Super Dad.

They’ve been away since December 22! Missed Christmas completely. They say coming home to a houseful of Christmas decorations and unopened gifts on January 17 was “very weird.” But Dorothy Gale got it right: “There’s no place like home!” (I don’t know what the big deal is about Dorothy. We all know Toto was the brains of that outfit.)

Anyway, we’re gonna do Part I of what the hoo-mans learned from that hospital experience thingy. Throwin’ this is in for free. Stay tuned for Part 2 later. Here goes:

12+ ICU DOS and DONT’S. Based on recent experience. Consider it a Public Service Announcement:

***

“He’s in ICU.” Three words no one wants to hear. But when you know someone who has, what can you do? How can you help a close friend or loved one who’s just heard those words?

Here are some tips, suggestions and 12+ Dos and Don’ts on how you can help someone with a family member in or recently discharged from ICU/CCU:

FIRST, the patient’s family is probably in shock. No one plans to wind up in ICU.

So DON’T PRESS FOR DETAILS OR UPDATES. They’ve just walked into a war zone. They may not know which end is up, let alone how to communicate same. They may not have all the details on their loved one’s condition, diagnosis, or prognosis. Or be in a place where they can process that info. Be patient. Get updates from others or a family spox if you can.

Additionally, admission to ICU/CCU can be SUDDEN AND UNEXPECTED. Family members may arrive at the hospital with nothing but the clothes on their back. Can you grab or get some personal belongings to them? A change of clothes? Reading glasses? Soap? Shampoo? Lotion? Toothpaste and toothbrush, etc.

Offer to MANAGE LOGISTICS if you can. Be the point person to update other friends/family. With their approval, set up a Private Facebook group as a central repository of information to avoid duplicating effort (exhausting and time-consuming). Help arrange visitor rotations so family members can rest.

⭐️Here are some additional Dos and Don’ts for family members with a loved one in ICU/CCU: ⭐️

DO:

  1. PRAY. First and foremost. If you’re not sure how or where to start, check out Samaritan’s Purse or the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association (Google is your friend.)
  2. DO VISIT IF YOU CAN. Your presence is a huge gift to those with a loved one who’s critically ill. Be sure to check with the hospital in advance regarding visiting hours and policies. Your calm presence can be very comforting.
  3. DO ‘GO GREYHOUND’. If you can get family members to and from the ICU for visits, offer to drive. Be on time.
  4. DO OFFER TO PICK UP up any necessary medical supplies. So the family has one less thing to worry about logistically.
  5. DO COMPILE A CARE PACKAGE for when the patient is discharged. Include appropriate items as indicated/needed like anti-bacterial wipes, a box of tissue, herbal teas. Lysol spray disinfectant. Honey. O.J. A roll or two of Life Savers. Lip balm. Soothing lotions, a cozy blanket or warm socks, etc.
  6. DO BUY THEM A GAS CARD.
  7. DO CONSIDER A GIFT SUBSCRIPTION to Netflix or Apple TV, etc. (Tip: Formula 1 racing a la Netflix’s “Drive to Survive” is addictive. Just sayin’.)
  8. DO OFFER TO WALK THEIR DOG. Hellllloooo?
  9. DO COOK AND DELIVER meals, with their approval. Focus on healthy, nutritious meals with lean protein (poultry. fish, legumes) and fresh produce. Bring food in disposable containers they don’t need to wash or return. Label and date each item so they’re easily identifiable when grabbing them out of the fridge/freezer.
  10. IF THEY’RE A READER, DO consider an Audible subscription or some audio books from the library.
  11. DO send a GET WELL CARD. A real one. Like, paper.

DON’T
1. DO NOT CALL. Those with a loved one in ICU are running on fumes and adrenaline. A phone call can be intrusive and disorienting, esp. if it comes when they’re in conference with a provider or other medical professional. They’ll call when they’re able. Message, email or text instead. End your texts/messsges with “no need to respond” to give them space and room to decompress.

  1. DON’T EXPECT quick responses to communiques. Or chit-chat. Per the above, those with a critically ill loved one are EXHAUSTED. They may not have the energy to converse. Just be there. Sitting with them quietly or offering a hug is huge.
  2. DON’T say “Call if you need anything.” Newsflash: Most people won’t. Those with seriously ill loved ones are under intense stress. They may feel overwhelmed. Hit by a tsunami. Don’t add to that by expecting them to call you with a list. Besides. They may not even know what they “need.” Their whole world has imploded. Been reduced to 3 letters: ICU. So take the initiative. Think of what YOU’D want. Google. Check with nurses. Go Nike. And just do it.
  3. DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY if someone with a loved one in ICU doesn’t return your call or respond to a message right away. They’re not being rude. They’re prioritizing.
  4. DON’T say “KEEP ME POSTED” or “Keep me updated.” That puts the ball back into the family’s court. Hellllo? Their plate is full. They don’t need anything else. So kindly don’t ask for or expect individual updates. See “Don’t press for details” and “Manage Logistics” above.

FINALLY:
➡️ The REAL WORK of recovery begins AFTER hospital discharge. It can be draining + exhausting for both patient and caregiver (family).

You can help by offering to “spell” the home caregiver so they can grab a shower, some fresh air, or a nap. Give them a break so they can recharge their batteries.

BTW. Chocolate can work wonders. Just sayin’. 😎 – Mom

For companion commentary, keep an eye out for 15+ Ways You Can Help an ICU Patient. Coming soon.

Disclaimer: Nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice. Always consult your doctor.


by Leave a comment

Why Visiting a Library is Like Coming Home

Kimber here. With a question: Where do your best friends live?

The Book Place

Some of our BFFs live at The Book Place. Where they have row after row of books! All lined up on shelves, just waiting to be checked out and read Also…. Oh. Wait. Mom is butting in again. So I’ll let her tell you more and give you some additional background:

Mom: There’s something inspirational about a library.  Being in the massed presence of so many authors is like snuggling under a cozy quilt on a snowy day.  It’s like Christmas, Independence Day and the First Day of Summer all rolled into one.

Continue reading →


by Leave a comment

Works Every Time

Okay. We admit it. One of us is totally blown away by the blog meisters who crank out four or five posts a week (Hi, Mom). Even worse: those who post on a daily basis.

We’ll admit it again: One of us is a teensy-weensy bit envious. (Hi again Mom.)

How do these folks manage it? And manage to churn out interesting, informative, engaging and otherwise superlative posts day after day, week after week?

Where do they find the time? Where do they get ideas? When do they sleep? Do they own a cat? (We also admit to some serious canine bias here, but that’s another story.)

We admire these folks. Their dedication. Their discipline. Their lack of a life outside the blogosphere?

It’s amazing.

A decision

We made a decision awhile back. In case you haven’t already noticed, we decided not to be one of them. Unless it comes naturally. Flows like clear water over a precipice. Warm honey out of a jar. Common sense out of political candidates. Well, you know what we mean.

And something amazing happened. The less we stressed about blogging, the easier it became. (Okay, so one of us is easily amazed :)

Not that we don’t plow into writer’s block now and then. That little curmudgeon seems to be the bane of all writers at least now and then. But we don’t stress about it.

When the words don’t come – and sometimes they don’t – we bail. Go for a walk. Eat pizza. Pick daisies. Watch Lucy and Ethel. Count stars. Call Mom’s sister 14 states away. Listen to Puccini arias. (Yes, really.)

Instead of forcing it, we disconnect. Switch gears. Do something different. If Mom’s really desperate, she bakes.

Give yourself a breather

Know what? The muse returns. She may be “MIA” for a day, for weeks or for longer, but given time, the creative little sprite comes back. (When she does, we usually can’t get her to shut up.)

Taking a breather from writing can be like swapping out a dead battery for a fresh one. There’s no sense trying to work off a battery with no juice. Call that horse dead and find a new one. Give yourself a break. A chance to “power down” and recharge. It may seem counter-productive. But the renewed energy and vitality are worth it.

So if the writing muse has skipped town on you, be patient. Disconnect. Switch gears. Do something different. Take time to recharge. (We wouldn’t necessarily recommend baking, but whatever works.) If you’re a writer, the muse will return.

Works every time

One last thing. When writer’s block hits, read. Really. Put down your pen. Lock up your keyboard. Pick up a book and dive in.

There’s nothing like nestling behind a good book with a great story – or even a mediocre one – to tempt the muse into returning. We can’t explain it. We just know it works. Every time. Kinda like dessert.

What do you do to overcome writer’s block?

***

If you’re struggling with writer’s block, here are some great reads to recharge the ‘ole batteries. These aren’t how-tos. They’re just fun and engaging.

Inkheart – Cornelia Funke

The Book of Story Beginnings – Kristin Kladstrup

The Road to Grace – Richard Paul Evans

What books can you recommend?


by Leave a comment

A “Bite-Sized’ Summer?

Revisited from last year because it just seems to fit:

‘It’s summer time, summer time. Sum-sum, summer time!’

School’s out. Finally says Mom. Summer sure took her time getting here, eh? She gimped onto the calendar with the alacrity of a crippled snail. Even so, as every cell of our beings opens to the long-lost sun, drinking in a taste of summer, we’re celebrating. Sort of.

Why? Well, have you noticed? Summer is a con artist.

After the ninety-miles-an-hour-with-your-hair/fur-on-fire frenetic pace of the school year, summer cons us into thinking we’re in for a “break.” “Slow down,” she coos, “kick back. Rest up. Wind down. After all, it’s summer!”

Warm weather whirlwind?

Well, maybe in an alternate universe,sniffs Her Momness. Then how come summer is often as jam-packed and crazy as the rest of the year? It’s just a different kind of crazy. Calendar still fill. Planners book up. The only difference seems to be the weather and venue – at home or on the beach, desert, mountain peak, park, library, baseball diamonds or pool – other than the school campus. For a lot of people, particularly families, summer is just another word for “warm weather whirlwind.”

Mom used to lean into summer with the noblest of intentions: Dive into multiple Summer Reading programs. Polish a coupla dozen blog posts. Read nine million books. Draft a zillion book reviews.

That lasts for maybe a week or two, until summer hits full-throttle and that “have so much time now” illusion evaporates into a moist mirage.

Manageable and bite-sized

Someone suggested a summer goal of setting aside two hours a day to write. Realizing that summer is a charmer, a warm-weather chimera, Mom just laughed. And poked along at my own pace: devoting twenty minutes a day to write uninterrupted. It’s not as impressive as two hours, but it’s manageable. Realistic. Bite-sized.

Know what? asketh Her Momness. She found that if she focuses on a bite-sized goal and keep at it, she gets it. Know what else? Twenty minutes can easily tumble into 40 or 60 or 90 or more.

What bite-sized writing goals have you set for this summer?


by 2 Comments

How To Rate Books Without Being Biased

Some poor unsuspecting rookie posed this topic to The ‘Ole Curmudgeon the other day. Probably seemed like a good idea at the time. Like the time I “liberated” that nice, juicy pot roast from the dinner table when no one was lookin’. But I think The ‘Ole Curmudgeon has forgotten about that by now. So let’s not remind her, okay?

Anyway, we “liberated” this headline from another blogger. Comes with some  questions: Whaddya mean by “bias”? Who decides? Based on what?

Here’s one def of “bias”: showing a like or dislike for someone or something based on personal opinions.

Newsflash, Toots. When it comes to book reviews, that’s kind of the whole point.

Yo!

For example, we have a “bias” against R-rated books and those with gratuitous violence and/or profanity. Additionally, we no longer accept memoirs about childhood abuse. Conversely-ish, we have a “bias” toward clean, uplifting and inspirational books.

We’re just funny that way.  It’s no secret. We say so in our Submission Guidelines. As in: Our blog. Our rules. So deal with it, Buttercup.

Fact is, we know what kind of books we like. And what we don’t. And why. And fact is again, some books are just better than others. They have better writing that’s rich, skilled, and full-bodied. They’re well-organized. Articulate. Structurally sound. Feature three-dimensional characters. An engaging, agile plot. Nimble pacing. They enrich, motivate, educate, stretch, entertain and/or inspire.

Others don’t.

They move with the alacrity of a three-toed sloth. Drip with typos. Have a plot like Swiss cheese. Bland, brittle characters that could give No Doze a run for its moola. And are as inspiring as wilted cabbage. Or the neighborhood powder puff.

And we notice.

So. How to Rate Books Without Being “Biased”? Simple. Thrown’ this in for free: Just don’t have a solid opinion.

You’re welcome. Now about that pot roast…


by Leave a comment

Hit by A Thanksgiving Tsunami

Silly Mom. If she ever buys stock in Kleenex, we can retire and move to Tibet or somewhere. Cuz she says every once in a while a book, painting, message or song is so powerful that it’s a wee bit overwhelming.

I’m not sure what that means. But if it has Mom doing the sparkly, sniffly smiley thing it must be good.

Like getting hit with a thanksgiving tsunami. Like MercyMe’s Flawless.

This vid isn’t new. But one of us thought it’s just right for this here Thanksy Day thing. The other is still grabbing the Kleenex. Can you guess why?


by Leave a comment

Storytime and 1600+ Kinds of Beautiful  

Moms are a Special Kind of Someone. Silent and strong. Mouthy and mushy. 1600+ kinds of beautiful.

I know this is so because Mom says so.

Moms are sometimes sentimental. Like the other day. Mom, The Kid and I were walking home from the library. All of a sudden Mom gets all misty-eyed. Something about Fridays and Storytime at the library.

“Do you remember how we used to walk over to the library every week for Storytime when you were a little kid?” she says to my brother. He’s the youngest. I have three other brothers older than him. “How did you get to be 19 so fast?” she asks.

Continue reading →


by 2 Comments

5 Reasons “Bestselling Author” Doesn’t Mean Beans

‘Wait. Is that Sasquatch?’

Hello Friends!

If you’ve been with us for any length of time – say, 20 minutes or so – you know that Mom and I are like, totally unimpressed with the words “Best-selling author.” Or its kissing cousins, “(fill in the blank) Award Winner.” Ditto“Over a bazillion copies in print.” The fact that everyone and their neighbor’s cat is crowing about a new release impresses us about as much as a plate of overcooked cabbage. Without the plate.

Yeppers. We’ve heaped praise on unknown indie authors who’ve earned it. We’ve also panned Pulitzer Prize winners who deserved it. Ya just never know.

So here, in living technicolor, is our latest round of best-sellers that bombed. According to us. We read these so’s you don’t have to. You’re welcome:

Continue reading →


by Leave a comment

eBook or Hard Copy?

We’ve all heard about ’em.  Seen ’em.  Some of us own more than one.

We’re talking about the latest and greatest in communication technology: iPhones, smart phones, iPads, texting.  Handy-dandy little items, these, especially when it comes to capturing creative genius on the fly.  Right?  Uh, right?

Being all magnificent and everything.

Put another way: what recording device does Her Momness use to lasso that creative blogging gem before it stales and staggers into the overcrowded corral of busy forgetfulness? What’s her preferred reading format – print or ebook?

Kindly keep your shirt on, Toots. We’ll get to all of that in a min. But first things first:

Continue reading →