Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie


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And The Winners Are… The Official Mom & Kimber DNF List 7.0

One of us used to feel a wee bit guilty about our Did Not Finish list. But then I says to Mom, “Look, Cupcake. We get zillions of requests for book reviews every day. We don’t have time to slog through sludge!”

Well. I finally talked Mom into realizing that if a book doesn’t grab us in the first few chapters, we’re unlikely to keep going. Or if we do, it’s through gritted teeth. (Hi, Mom.)

Well, again. Life’s too short. Who wants to waste their time on sludge? Skunkers and clunkers? Especially when there are so many other good books around. Nowadays, we don’t bat an eye at chucking a book into our DNF pile. (For more, see 4 Reasons Why We’re World Champion ‘Book Bailers.’)

Complete Wastes of Time

So here’s the latest Official Mom and Kimber DNF List. We ploughed through this sludge so you don’t have to. As in, don’t waste your time on the following Complete Wastes of Time (in no particular order):

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Karen Kingsbury Novel Doesn’t Disappoint

 

Forgiving Paris

By Karen Kingsbury

Simon & Schuster, Inc., October 2021

Genre: Christian Fiction

Pages: 273

 

Her darkest secret.

Her gravest mistake.

Can she make peace with herself… and Paris?

Kimber here, being my usual Magnificent Self. Telling you that Her Momness is doing that sparkly-eyed, sniffly nose thing again. Cuz of a book she just finished. Hang just a sec while a grab a hankie for Mom.

Ready, Mom? Okay. I’ll let her tell you more:

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Age 1-1/2 years ... with a book, of course!


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How to Get the Most out of Goodreads

 

Hey buddy and buddy-ette!

Can you spare five minutes? Good. Cuz that’s about all the time I’ve got on this Reading Goods thing. Ya see, Mom has her I’m Reading: Do Not Interrupt on Pain of Death face on. You know. With those eye glass do-dads and a furrowed brow. (No idea what that means. If you do, kindly holler.) So I gotta get this in like, pronto!

Squirrel!

Wait. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Reading Goods. You may know it as Goodreads. But let’s not get picky here, Buttercup.

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Linamen ‘Deja Nu’ or 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall?

“I love, love, LOVE Karen Linamen books!” gushed She Who Shall Remain Nameless. “They’re funny. Warm and relatable. Down to earth and practical.” She paused. “But…”

Her Momness raised an eyebrow. Cocked her head (looks a lot cuter when I do it. Nobody’s perfect). “But what?” chirpeth Mom.

We’ll get to the “But what?” part in a min. So kindly keep your hair on, Cupcake. Cuz we’re gonna take a look at two more Linamen books today. First….

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Why ‘The Ivies’ Needs a Mommy Very Badly

The Ivies

Alexa Donne (Crown Books for Young Readers, 2021)

Via: Library

Genre: YA/Fiction/Dark Academia

Pages: 309 (Print)

Ever want to just smack an entire cast of characters? That’s what we felt like after 309 pages of The Ivies.

Eau de Skunk

Now, The Ivies is the kinda book that’s gonna nab rave reviews all over the place. Not here, Toots. We don’t do that gob-smacked slobber stuff over a book that smells like Eau de Skunk. Walks and talks like it, too.

We’re just funny that way. Like:

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25 U.S. Historical Fiction Books That’ll Rock Your 4th

Kimber here. Mom is busy rustling up some Independence Day eats. I’m not too sure about the potato salad and corn on the cob thing. But I’m all over the grilled burgers! Yeah, Lassie!

Kimber here. Bein’ all magnificent and everything.

Well, the subject of “best U.S. historical fiction” came up the other night. We were watching last year’s fireworks or somethin’. You know. The stupid Big Boom things. (Why do humans do this every Independence Day? I don’t get it.)

I was all ears. (For the book list. Not the Big Boom things. Mom got me a Thunder Shirt for that.)

Anyway, just in time for Independence Day, Mom and I put together a list of the best historical fiction reads set in the U.S. Not P.C. Mom says we aren’t even going to try to cover books by decade, social movement, issue, or what not. That’d take us like, till the cat comes home. Gag me with Meow Mix!

This is our not-PC, totally unscientific, 100 % subjective list of great historic-ish reads for a great American holiday! To make the cut, titles have to be good stories. Well-written. Based on or interweaving actual events, people, or epochs from U.S. history. (Not sure what that means. But it sounds delish!)

Ready? Set? Let’s Go!

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Summer Reading Olympics & Going for GOLD!

 

If you’re reading this blog, chances are you’re either: 1) A humungous book lover, 2) A humungous dog lover, 3) Both, or 4) Tired of kitty-sitting the neighbor’s feline.

Well. Have we got a deal for you.

The Challenge

Ya see, Her Royal Momness stumbled upon this “Summer Reading Challenge” thingy about three months back. (Stumbling. Ya know. Like Mom finds most things. Don’t tell her I said that, okay?)

Bronze, Silver, or Gold?

Anyhow, this SRC Challenge ’24 is hosted by the 52 Book Club. Since 2024 is a Summer Olympics, this year’s reading challenge had an Olympics-ish flavor. With 24 sports-inspired book prompts. Participants chose which “medal” they wanted to aim for, based on the number of books they planned to read during the summer in line with select Olympic-ish book prompts: Bronze, Silver, or Gold?

Via The 52 Book Club:

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‘The Boys in the Boat’ As Smooth as Silk

The Boys in the Boat

Nine Americans and Their Epic Quest for Gold at the 1936 Berlin Olympics

By Daniel James Brown (Blue Bear Endeavor, Large Perint Press, 2013)

Via: Library

Genre: Narrative Non-Fiction

Pages (large print): 684 + B&W photos and about 50 pages of Notes)

“They weren’t just nine guys in a boat; they were a crew.”

Two unassuming signs announce the entrance and egress to the City of Sequim in Clallam County, Washington State. Perched on the shoulder of U.S. 101, they’re almost impossible to read as you drive by at 60-ish mph. But Mom caught ‘em. Or at least, a few words: Welcome to Squim, Home of Olympic Champions…” Or maybe it was “Gold Medalists…”

We went by too fast to read the rest. But we’re willing to bet the name Joe Rantz, one of the boys in the boat, is on it.

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HAPPY BIRTHDAY KIMBER!

My baby picture. I know. I’m adorable.

Today is an auspicious day! Cuz it’s not just any Monday. No siree, Lassie! Today is my birthday!

Yeppers, I’m eight years old today! Yea, me!

Kimber the Magnificent!

If you don’t already know me, I’m Kimber the Magnificent. I’m a rescue dog. Border Collie mix. The Smartest Member of the fam. (Mom says so. So it must be true.)

I’m loyal. Affectionate. Lithe, alert, and agile. I I’m also a quick learner. Brilliant and beautiful. With a champagne-esque personality: Bubbly and effervescent. I’m unconditional love on four feet. In fact, I love everyone! (Except the neighbor’s cat. Go figure.) I’m The Best Ever! (another Mom-ism.) I’m also shy, modest, and retiring. But who’s counting?

I co-narrate this blog thingy. (I’m the witty one. All sparkly and dazzly. In case ya hadn’t already figured that out.)

Her Royal Momness says I epitomize this John Grogan quote:

“A dog has no use for fancy cars, big homes, or designer clothes. A water-logged stick will do just fine.

A dog doesn’t care if you’re rich or poor, clever or dull, smart or dumb. Give him your heart and he’ll give you his.

How many people can you say that about? How many people can make you feel rare and pure and special? How many people can make you feel extraordinary?”

Mom: So friends, are you short on joy, effervescence, or extraordinariness (new word I just made up)? Get a dog.

Just don’t ask for mine. Cuz this sweet girl’s already taken. 

Happy Birthday Kimber!

* Aka: Kimmi. Kim-Kim. The Kimster. Baby Girl. Sugar Bear. Boss Dog…

 


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Hannah’s ‘The Women’: Awesome or Arugula?

 

The Women

By Kristin Hannah (St. Martin’s Press, 2024)

Genre: Historical Fiction/Vietnam

Via: Library

Pages: 464 (Print)

If you’ve been reading with us for any length of time – say, 20 minutes or so – you know that Mom and I are singularly unimpressed by the words “Best-selling author.” Or its kissing cousins, “(fill in the blank) Award Winner” and “Over a bazillion copies in print.” The fact that everyone and their neighbor’s cat is crowing about a new release impresses us about as much as a plate of overcooked arugula.

Yea, verily. We’ve heaped praise on unknown indie authors who’ve earned it. We’ve also panned Pulitzer Prize winners who deserved it. Ya just never know.

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