By Allie Nava, Author of JULY AND EVERYTHING AFTER
“Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness” – Lucius Annaeus Seneca
“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted” – Aesop
“To extend yourself in kindness to anybody is an extension in kindness in the world.” — Oprah Winfrey
These are quotes I’m reminded of when I think about the power of kindness in the world. It is a power to pay it forward, to surprise others when they least expect it, to contribute something generous in spirit. Kindness is also an act of empathy, and it affects us as much as it affects the person or people to whom the act is bestowed.
Biologically
Biologically, kindness releases chemicals in the brain that reduce stress, lower anxiety, and generally improve our mood. Being a recipient of kindness can do the same. So it might follow that acts of kindness, both to ourselves and others, can help us dissipate negative feelings, even anger.
Both the science of psychology, and various philosophical and religious traditions alike, have long recognized that the answer to cruelty is not another act of cruelty, that a response to anger should not be more anger. They have recognized that the path to equanimity, peace, and happiness is often the opposite response. Even the great former activist Gandhi said, “An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.”
Marcus Aurelius, the famous Roman Emperor, wrote a book called Meditations, in which he records his innermost thoughts about what he observes of the world around him, and his own reactions and behaviors, and in which he constantly reminds himself to behave in more generous, empathetic, and kind ways. He reminds himself in Meditations, among other things, paraphrased:
To consider people and their character as a whole, and not to judge them based on a small set of behaviors. To realize that we all have similar flaws. That it can be our own opinions about things that anger us, rather than the thing itself. That anger hurts us more than the thing we’re angry about That kindness can be the antidote to anger
The Challenge
He challenged himself and reminded himself to put things in context and to react and respond with empathy and generosity, and that this could eliminate the anger itself.
In my novel July and Everything After, the protagonist Maya is challenged personally after experiencing and witnessing atrocities during a brutal civil war. The book follows her transformational journey as she tries to emerge from the crises, and she learns about her own anger.
Many times people are reactionary to what happens around them. By being shown kindness, or acting kindly, everyone receives a chance to benefit from a more positive outcome.
Allie Nava is the author of bestselling novel JULY AND EVERYTHING AFTER, a modern tale of resilience against extraordinary odds. You can find her online at:
www.allienava.com and on social media at www.instagram.com/alliestories8 or www.facebook.com/alliestories8.
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