Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Questions. Curiosity. Confusion. Secrets. Telling the truth, even when it hurts. A dastardly villain. The best detective dog in the world. You’ll find all this and more in Keith Garton’s new novel for middle grade readers, Searching for Lucky #3002: A Ben and Blue Mystery.
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
“Sometimes, the only way forward is to let it fall apart and start over.”
Kimber: Speaking of “sometimes…” You know I love everyone, right? But sometimes – like once in a blue pork chop – I come across a book dude or dudette that I simply can’t stand. They’re like, Yuck! And double yuck with Meow Mix on the side. I want to bite them. But Mom says “no.” Silly Mom.
Anyway, Victor Clayton is that kind of yuck-meister. I’ll let Mom fill you in on The Green Beneath the Empire, Vol. 1. Take it away, Mom!
There are two things you oughtta know about Christmas in Bethel right out of the kennel says I, Kimber the Magnificent. 1) This isn’t a “Christmas book.” 2) Coo-coo for Cocoa Puffs. Like:
Regarding #1, this isn’t a “Christmas story” in the usual sense. Yes, it includes Thanksgiving and the holidays and Christmas. And all that good stuff. But its message of love and grace and forgiveness works year round. Besides. We put this book on order at the library in early November. It didn’t arrive until after New Year’s. So there!
Still with me, Cupcake? Arf!
Now, regarding #2 and that Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs thingy? That’s Her Momness and Richard Paul Evans books. A master storyteller who’s penned an entire galaxy of finely crafted, clean and uplifting fiction, Evans has been one of Mom’s favorite authors since just after the Ark made landfall. Or at least since 1993. That’s when a perennial seasonal fave, Evans’ The Christmas Box, first came out. Evans topically publishes a new book every year coinciding with the Christmas season. That’s why RPE is called “The King of Christmas Fiction.” Mom’s read ‘em all. That Coo-Coo for Cocoa Puffs thing.
Why? Well, dear reader, keep reading:
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
How an interplanetary ex-bodyguard with a ray gun winds up as a fruit picker with an artificial leg is the focus of this light and fluffy graphic novel by E.B. Roshan.
When we first meet Rex he’s picking fruit on a farm in the Vega system. It seems an odd choice for a former bodyguard. Think Han Solo meets Lurch in the San Joaquin Valley.
But when Sir Sarpedon returns to the farm unexpectedly and sees Rex with a ray guy, the former pretty much freaks out. Apparently fruit pickers and ray guns don’t mix. That changes when Rex saves Sarpedon from an attack by a deadly tree viper, courtesy of some smokin’ hot shootin’.
Next thing ya know, Rex is offered a chance to join Sarpedon’s security team. He takes it. And joins Sarpedon and crew members Fido and Theo aboard the Black Stone. Their job is to collect “dues” from farmers on “harvest moons” for their boss, Lord Delta. Aka: Stealing.
Turns out Sarpedon isn’t exactly a warm and cuddly kinda guy. In fact, he’s a jerk.
When the ship lands on Delta Three to meet Lord Delta, said Lord can’t be found. So Sarpedon and Rex decide to cool their jets at a local watering hole. Rex tries to rein in Sarpedon’s rude behavior and gets zappified for his trouble. After Rex recovers from his injuries, he’s offered a temp job at the bar. We’re not exactly sure what happens to him or why after that. Cuz the story just kind of walks off a cliff and dives off.
This book is like an omelet – light and fluffy. The pacing is nimble and the story moves quickly. You can read it cover to cover inside of an hour.
We would’ve liked to have read a hard copy that included color illustrations. But the PDF version provided for our Kindle was black and white only. So we won’t be rating this book. However, young readers who enjoy sci fi and/or comic books will enjoy Free. It’s a sweet, uplifting story that’s worth a look-see. It launches on January 15.
E.B. Roshan is the author of the Shards of Sevia series. Find out more here.
Author E.B. Roshan.
Kimber: Okay, Mom. Time for a pop quiz.
Mom (being her usual alert, coherent self): Huh?
Kimber: Whaddya get when you roll Ethan Hunt, Luther Stickell, and Kwai Chang Caine all into one, to the tune of Life Is A Highway?
Mom: Is this a trick question?
It could be in this thriller where Zen Buddhist spook dude teams up with handy-dandy computer nerd while on the run from some uber bad guys in this up and down action/adventure tome. It called Way of the Bow. By Vince Fratello.
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Sarge is a warrior with the NSA and the “Gray Consultants.” Very hush-hush. Very effective. He’s also 65 years old. Trying to retire. Bernie’s a computer nerd. Aka: expert hacker. Both skill sets come in handy. Especially when people are trying to kill you.
This storyline is the strongest part of the book. What follows as Sarge and Bernie team up to get to the bottom of what happened and why and head for D.C. for answers is a mixed bag.
Most of the rest of the book is about the people and places Sarge and Bernie encounter as they make their way from the West Coast to D.C. This includes an extensive cast of colorful characters like the dude with the ultralight, Gwen the horse lady and the guys in the boxcar en route to Montana. Tough-as-nails with a heart of gold Catholic nun, Sister Rose-Carolyn. A ride aboard an eighteen-wheeler. A dash to Chicago with Carrie and her EV camper van, The Beast. A side run into MMNA, judo, jiu jitsu and aikido. Salem Sue, the World’s Largest Holstein Cow. It’s also a bit gastro pub on wheels. So you might want to bring a fork. Or two.
While eloquent and articulate, we felt the book loses focus and meanders into metaphysical sermonizing a little too often. And that’s too bad. Because it’s actually pretty well written, with sturdy characters, credible dialogue and generous doses of dry humor, which we totally love. But when it strays from spook thriller about uncovering a deadly conspiracy at the highest levels and wanders into Adventures in Zen Land, the action/adventure angle gets lost in the reeds.
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
Let’s just cut to the chase on this one, okay? What a dud. This book is so busy trying to be clever or hip or something, it forgets to create a coherent story. That kinda matters. Especially if you’re gonna pitch it to us for review.
Newsflash: We don’t do muddled and mussy. We’re just funny that way.
Mom and I spend tons of time combing through review requests and deciding what we will or won’t accept. If a book is accepted, we may spend hours and hours or days reading it. And more time crafting a brilliant and pithy review.
It’s a huge investment of time and energy. We don’t charge any fees for reviews. We don’t get a cent for doing this. Not one penny. Our time and talent is free to you, Cupcake.
So THE LEAST YOU CAN DO is Like, Comment, and Share the Post Link for a positive review of 3.0 or above. This not only helps promote your book, it also boosts post visibility. So again:
Liking, Commenting, and Sharing the Link to a positive review is a REQUIREMENT for anyone asking for a review. If you don’t do so within three days of post publication, we will remove the post.
Don’t think we’ll do it, Toots? Think again. Reviews of the following books have been removed because the author(s) failed to adhere to our Like, Comment, and Share requirement outlined above:
***
Don’t think we don’t notice. We do.
Kimber: And you sooooo do not want to get catty-wampuss to The Old Curmudgeon. Bad idea. Really bad idea.
And to those authors and publicists who do take the time to adhere to our requirements, THANK YOU! You’re still PAWsome!
If you’re lookin’ for angels cha-cha-ing through the realms of glory, singe-ing chestnuts on an open fire (Mom’s special expertise) or ringing sleigh bells, sorry to disappoint with this here announcement thingy.
But if you’ve been waiting for word about when we plan to re-open to new review requests, you’re in luck! Or gravy. Or leftover turkey. Or… something yummy.
After trying to climb out from underneath a Mount Everest backlog of review requests we had stacked up from here to breakfast, we’re finally seeing daylight. So we’re re-opening the review request queue to new requests.
Cuz today’s the day!
I, Kimber the Magnificent, officially declare Pages and Pages (Re) OPEN for new review requests.
You’re welcome. Just don’t inundate us all at once, okay? While you’re at it, kindly note that we reserve the right to decline any submission for any reason whatsoever without any explanation. Period.
Our Rating System and Submission Guidelines exist for a reason, okay? So for the NINE MILLIONTH TIME, kindly save us both some time and effort by Reading Our Submission Guidelines BEFORE you hit us up with your magnum opus.
Cuz Mom and I? We’re kinda like Santa. We make a list. Check it twice. We find out who’s naughty and nice when it comes to review requests. Like, we know exactly who does and does not read our Submission Guidelines. Always. And believe you me, you so do not want to get on The ‘Ole Curmudgeon’s bad side(s) by submitting stuff we’re not interested in. Or committing the other Unpardonable Sin: Getting a positive review (3.0 rating or above) and failing to Like, Comment on, or Share the post within three days of publication. We know that, too. (Failure to do so can and usually does result in removal of the post.)
So I’d listen up ‘fize you.
We will now return you to our regularly scheduled cha-cha-ing.
Wait. Is that eggnog?
Submission Guidelines
Do you do New Year’s resolutions? Mom says these reso thingies are how some hoomans ring in the New Year. Like: This year I’m gonna:
“Yo! Wazzup?”
Her Momness and I have been kicking back, enjoying the holidays and being lazy slugs. That’s why you haven’t seen us here lately. Then someone asked, “So, Kimber and Mom. What are your top ten titles for 2024?” Actually, it was several someones. But who’s counting?
Well. One of us – the sweet furry-faced one smiled sweetly at that question. The other kind of shrugged it off. (Hi, Mom.) I mean, sheesh. We read close to 600 titles this year. So “Top Ten” or “Best Books We Read in 2024”? Really?
Told ya.
But the question kept coming. Responding turned out to be harder than we thought. A lot harder. In case you’re wondering, Cupcake. And even if you’re not. But not for the reason you may think. Like this:
Pages & Paws 