Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie

Category Archives: Random Stuff


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Drop It: The Art of Quitting a Lousy Book

Readers have some tough decisions. Like when your TBR rivals the Empire State Building. Your library check-outs are in triple digits. The local bookstore ropes off an entire section with your name on it. Or your favorite canine has to choose between New York Steak and Rib Eye.

Kimber the Magnificent here. Being all Brilliant and Beautiful again. Still.

Wait. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Reading decisions.

Does this sound familiar, hoomans?

– You grabbed a book off Amazon because it snagged a glittering galaxy of 5 star reviews. That were probably posted by the author’s mom. Under numerous pseudonyms.

– Your reading club is gushing over its latest selection. You can’t get past page 3 without reaching for No Doze.

– The latest “bestseller” has a plot that’s as dense as a peanut butter and jelly sandwhich. Without the jelly. Or the bread.

What’s a reader to do?

First of all, relax. Deep breaths, okay? Mom and I are here to help.

Second, realize that reading isn’t a competition. Or s chore. Reading is supposed to be fun. Enjoyable. (Kimber: Well, maybe not as enjoyable as a Porterhouse Steak. What?)

Anyway, here’s the latest brilliant advice from Her Royal Momness and me. On All of the Above. At no extra charge:

Stop.

That’s right.

Just. Stop. Close the book. Put it back. And move on to something else.

It doesn’t matter how far you’ve read. The number of pages left. Or how many hours you’ve spent slogging through a book. Through gritted teeth.  When you reach The Point of No Return on a book, don’t return.

That’s right. Put that book down. Send it back. Find something else.

And lose the guilt. Give yourself permission to say No.

True, not all books are easy. Some require more effort than others. That’s okay.

That snoozer that had you yawning? The stinker that made your hair ache? Just stop. Put it away. You can always pick it up again later.

But if you’re hating every minute of a book, counting the remaining pages, or forcing yourself to keep going and dreading every minute, then you’re missing the point. Of letting books into your head. And your heart. Soak into your soul. And maybe even change your life.

Speaking of “life,” Mom and I decided a long time ago that life’s too short to spend it on lousy books. That we don’t enjoy. Put us to sleep better than Sominex. Look like the neighborhood fluff ball.

Besides. With zillions of titles to choose from, you’ll always be able to find something that’s a better fit.

So to reiterate, relax. And lose the book DNF guilt. It’s so not you. 

Meanwhile, Mom and I will be back shortly. Soon as one of us re-shelves a few books.

You gonna eat that?

What’s the last book you read that soaked into your soul?


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Which is Better: Book or Movie?

“Kimber, what do you think is better? Book or movie?”

Depends, says I, Kimber the Magnificent. Usually on whether we’re reading or watching before or after dinner. Lemme backtrack for a min and explain-ish.

Book Memories

Her Momness has been skipping down Memory Lane via books for much of the summer.  She’s re-visited a ton and a half of old favorites. See: The Dog Days and Children’s Classics.

Poppins?

The other day Mom re-read Mary Poppins, by P.L. Travers. Just a few days after watching the Disney movie with Julie Andres and Dick Van Dyke. Having read and watched both versions within a few days of each other, Her Momness was somewhat astonished. At how far apart they are.

Granted, there are things you can and can’t do on the silver screen that you can do in a book. Some book scenes just don’t translate well onto film. But in the case of Mary Poppins The Book vs. Mary Poppins the Movie, the two are almost oceans apart. (We loved Saving Mr. Banks, thank you very much.)

Here are some select examples from Mom:

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Why Visiting a Library is Like Coming Home

Kimber here. With a question: Where do your best friends live?

The Book Place

Some of our BFFs live at The Book Place. Where they have row after row of books! All lined up on shelves, just waiting to be checked out and read Also…. Oh. Wait. Mom is butting in again. So I’ll let her tell you more and give you some additional background:

Mom: There’s something inspirational about a library.  Being in the massed presence of so many authors is like snuggling under a cozy quilt on a snowy day.  It’s like Christmas, Independence Day and the First Day of Summer all rolled into one.

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Don’t Be This Author – or – How to Get a Negative Review in 3 Easy Steps

Shhh! Mom’s snoozing. So it’s just us, okay?

Can we talk? Like, about book reviews? Cuz Mom and I are getting flooded with requests for book reviews. We love it! But we also want to be efficient. So we decided to set and clarify some basic ground rules. As in, what to avoid. Or Don’t Be This Author. With this kind of book.

So, here’s how to get a negative review in three easy steps (Examples taken from actual events. Names and places sort of changed to protect the not-so-innocent.):

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How to Get On Our Loser List in 3 Easy Steps

Her Crankiness is at it again. That scrunchy face eye roll thing.

“Good grief!” Mom flounces. “Not again!” (“Flounces.” Isn’t that a great word? No idea what it means. But Mom likes it. So I do too.)

Now what? says I, Kimber the Magnificent. You know. The level-headed one. All even-keeled and imperturbable. (No idea what that means either. But it sounds good, huh? Can I eat it?)

Well. Gonna cut to the chase here. Save you some time. As in:

IF YOU’RE AN AUTHOR OR AN AUTHOR WANNABE REQUESTING A REVIEW, DO NOT DO THIS!! EVER!!

Can you hear us in the back?

Here’s what we mean. On the Sure Loser List. DO NOT do any of the following.  Starting with review requests that send us to third parties. Like:

Dude. Dudette. Listen up. We’re busy. If you can’t be bothered to provide the relevant info we ask for in our Rating System and Submission Guidelines or Sample Review Request, then don’t expect us to bother with your book. We’re just funny that way.

Variation on a theme #2:

Generic much?

We get something like this on our In Box and it tells us:

This author couldn’t be bothered to spend 5 minutes on the blog finding out who we are, what we review, or what our bookish interests are. Also, we could care less about your Goodreads on Amazon page. Cuz newsflash, Cupcake: We’re neither. Hello?

This kind of request also tells us the author is too lazy to provide a decent synopsis of their work in the body of the request email. They expect us to click external links instead. Good luck with that.

#3: Other newsflash, Sweetness: This kind of generic request tells us you not only haven’t read our Submission Guidelines, but you’re also on a fishing expedition. Haven’t even bothered to check if your title is a good fit for this blog or not. Ergo, you’re wasting our time. Not. Cool. So off to the Big Kitty Litter Box In The Sky with you!

These kinds of review requests get dumped. Cuz guess what else, Cookie? We don’t have time to waste on authors who can’t or won’t follow simple instructions. There are plenty of other authors who can. And do. They’re way more likely to get our attention. Savvy?


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Derby Day and A Champion for the Ages

“Inevitable.”

Isn’t that a great word? Learned it from Mom the other day. As in, the 149th annual Run for the Roses is today! So debates about who was the Greatest Thoroughbred of All Time are… inevitable.

DSC_0005

Or so I’m told.

A few other things I learned:

The “Run for the Roses” is also known as The Kentucky Derby. The Derby is always run on the first Saturday in May. It’s the first jewel in the Triple Crown of Thoroughbred horse racing.

Why do I, Kimber the Magnificent, care about Thoroughbred racing? Well, I don’t. Not really. But Mom does!

She’s been reading a Walter Farley book about one of the greatest champions to ever set hooves on a race track: Man O’War. Along with legendary Triple Crown winner Secretariat, Man O’War is a top contender for Greatest Thoroughbred of All Time honors.

Back to the Farley book.

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5 Most PAWsome NEWish Authors

‘Yo! Listen up!’

Kimber here. With a newsflash: We’ve read over 200 books thus far this year. Some were Pawsome. Some were Stinkers. Most were somewhere in between.
Is this place great, or what?

Go Ahead, Guess!

So guess which books have been the best? Most engaging and enjoyable? Most fun. Inspiring. Entertaining and informative.

Go ahead! Guess!

Never mind. I’ll tell ya:

The Most Pawsome books we’ve read thus far this year are by indie authors. Not best-selling authors. Not “over a million copies sold.” Not “soon to be made into a major motion picture.” Nopers. None of that jazz here. Because frankly, that “bestselling author” stuff is so over-rated. We’ve seen wilted brussel sprouts with more flavor than some of those “best-selling” titles.

So here’s our 100% unscientific, totally subjective version of Best Books We’ve Recently Read in 2025 So Far. All are by indie authors. In no particular order:

  1. Letters From the Saddle – Michael Wegner
    Check out our review.
  2. Even If – Dwayne Harris
    Check out our review here.
  3.  Twilight of Evil – George Alexander.
    Here’s our full review.
  4. Stay, Girl – Angelica R. Jackson
    See our full review.
  5. Two Weeks Till Sunday – Caleb Backholm
    Here’s our full review.

What are some of your top reads thus far this year?


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How to Fireproof Your New Year’s Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Do you do New Year’s resolutions? Mom says these reso thingies are how some hoomans ring in the New Year. Like: This year I’m gonna:

  • Lose weight.
  • Get out of debt.
  • Quit eating junk food.
  • Curate world peace.
  • Share my filet mignon with Kimber. (Hey, a sweet furry face can dream, right?)
Oh, what a beautiful New Year!

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What I’ve Learned Since The Earth’s Crust Cooled – or – Mom’s Birthday List

 Psssst! Hey buddy and buddy-ette.

Yeah. You. Can ya spare a cake the size of New York? Cuz today’s Mom’s birthday. And that’s how big the cake’s gotta be in order to accommodate all them thar candle thingies.

I was gonna tell ya how old Her Momness is today. But let’s just say she was an eye witness to the parting of the Red Sea and leave it at that, okay?

Anywho. In honor of this auspicious occasion, Mom came up with a list of 40 Things I’ve Learned Since the Earth’s Crust Cooled. We’re calling it The Birthday List. The short version. In no particular order. It goes like this:

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Clean & Uplifting Alternatives to Kristin Hannah Novels

Kristin Hannah is a “#1 New York Times Bestselling Author.” She’s “Superb at delving into the character’s psyches and delineating nuances of feeling.” Her books are “full of honest emotion.”

Yawn.

So. Not. Impressed. Truth is, kids, Kristin Hannah novels are a mixed bag. Yeppers, she’s a prodigious talent. Greatly skilled at weaving masterful, suspenseful tales packed with emotion and dripping with drama. Her stories are compelling and usually read-it-in-a-day kind of quick.

But they often leave us feeling like we oughtta wash our eyes out with soap. Or take a shower inside our head.

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