Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie

Author Archives: Eowyn


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Clean & Uplifting Alternatives to Kristin Hannah Novels

Kristin Hannah is a “#1 New York Times Bestselling Author.” She’s “Superb at delving into the character’s psyches and delineating nuances of feeling.” Her books are “full of honest emotion.”

Yawn.

So. Not. Impressed. Truth is, kids, Kristin Hannah novels are a mixed bag. Yeppers, she’s a prodigious talent. Greatly skilled at weaving masterful, suspenseful tales packed with emotion and dripping with drama. Her stories are compelling and usually read-it-in-a-day kind of quick.

But they often leave us feeling like we oughtta wash our eyes out with soap. Or take a shower inside our head.

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The Year’s Most Over-Rated Book?

It took some doin’. But Her Momness and I? We were up to the challenge!

“What challenge?” ask ye.

Finding The Most Over-Rated Book of the Year.

Now, there were some real doozies in the running, mind you. With apologies to high school English teachers everywhere, neither of us can abide ‘stream of consciousness’ prose a la Faulkner. That’s one reason The Sound and the Fury made the list previously. Ditto Wuthering Heights and The Great Gatsby. And no, you won’t find The Most Over-Rated Book in the English Language on our list either. Hint: Catcher in the Rye. Gag me with Meow Mix!

But we just plowed through the Sorriest Slog of ‘Em All. We’re talking dull as a blunt spoon. If boring, bland and redundant were Olympic sports, this hunka junk would bring home the gold.

Can you guess what galactically lousy title gets the nod?

Great. We’ll tell you:

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What Makes a ‘Classic’ Read? 3 Examples, 7 Key Elements

 What makes a classic?

I mean, besides being all bright, beautiful and brilliant like me, Kimber the Classic Magnificent Wonder?

A true classic. “Hey, it’s me!”

Glad you asked. We’re gonna get to that. So just hang on a min, Cream Puff. Cuz right now we’re gonna play a bookish guessing game. Like this:

Can you identify the classic books and/or authors in which these first lines appear? (Answers below.)

  1. “All children, except one, grow up.”
  2. “Walking back to camp through the swamp, Sam wondered whether to tell his father what he had seen.”
  3. “The wind blew hard and joggled the water of the ocean, sending ripples across its surface.”

Now that you have your thinking cap on – no idea what that is; Mom’s idea – here’s another question: What do these opening lines all have in common?

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Unlikely(?) Heroine Rides Tall in ‘Lost Girls’

Blessing of the Lost Girls

By. J.A. Jance

Genre: Fiction/Murder Mystery/Thriller

Pages (print): 328

Via: Library

Rodeos. Barrel racing. A serial killer. A heroine named Hazel.

A heroine named Hazel? Say what? you say.

Yo! Her Momness and I will get to that shortly. So kindly keep your hair on, Cookie. First a little back story:

I was waiting outside The Book Place the other day with the patience of Job while Mom was inside, skipping merrily through the stacks looking for something to nab. She skidded to a halt in front of the Lucky Day shelf. For you young whippersnappers, this is an actual, physical shelf near the checkout where lots of the latest releases live. So if you find one that’s available for checkout it’s like, “Whoa Nellie*! It’s my Luck Day!” (*Mom Speak for “Whoa, Nellie.” Super excited.)

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Picture Books & ‘A Little Bit of Pixie Dust’

One of us – the one who’s been around since the Ark made landfall – is old enough to remember this super cool TV show called Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color.

Remember that one? Hosted by Walt Disney. Came on Sunday nights. Right after Lassie, Kimber’s alter ego. (Arf! Arf!) Had some of the best family entertainment around.

But the real hook? The opening where Tinkerbell flies around Sleeping Beauty’s castle, waves her fairy wand and splashes Living technicolor all over the logo. It was like magic. Repeat for you young whipper-snappers: It was like magic. (This was waaaay before the days of cheating with CGI and all that jazz.)

What If…?

Anyway. What if you could find storybooks with that kind of magic for your littleun? Well. Thanks to Storybug, you can.

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eBook or Hard Copy?

We’ve all heard about ’em.  Seen ’em.  Some of us own more than one.

We’re talking about the latest and greatest in communication technology: iPhones, smart phones, iPads, texting.  Handy-dandy little items, these, especially when it comes to capturing creative genius on the fly.  Right?  Uh, right?

Being all magnificent and everything.

Put another way: what recording device does Her Momness use to lasso that creative blogging gem before it stales and staggers into the overcrowded corral of busy forgetfulness? What’s her preferred reading format – print or ebook?

Kindly keep your shirt on, Toots. We’ll get to all of that in a min. But first things first:

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35 Most Memorable Opening Lines Ever

Opening lines. They can pull you into book and urge ya to go further, or turn ya off so’s ya move on.

Mom and me, we’ve been around long enough to know some good opening lines when we see ‘em. So we made a list. Checked it twice. And came up with our 100% unscientific, totally subjective list of 35 Most Memorable Opening Lines Ever. From books we’ve actually read.

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Hark! Her Grumpiness Speaketh! (I’d Listen Up ‘Fize You)

Her Royal Grumpiness is all grumpified today. For two reasons: 1) Glasses; 2) The Book Place.

Short version: New prescription eye glasses ain’t working. Only way Her Momness can read a computer screen is by tilting her head up and looking through the bottom of the lenses. So not happenin’. What was that optometrist thinking? So annoying.

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‘Stubborn Positivity’ Shines in ‘Craig and Fred’

Craig and Fred

A Marine, A Stray Dog, And How They Rescued Each Other

By Craig Grossi (Harper Collins, 2017)

Genre: Non-Fiction/Memoir

Via: Library

Pages (print): 266

“Looks like you made a friend,” his Marine Corps buddy quipped of the short-legged, floppy-eared stray dog who wandered into the USMC compound in Afghanistan.

But what author Craig Grossi heard was, “Looks like a Fred.” The name stuck. What unfolds next is one of the most touching, heartwarming and remarkable true animal stories we’ve ever read.

Even Kimber Her Royal Magnificence was impressed: “Fred is my new best bud! He’s like, Totally PAWsome!”

“Kimmi, you say that about everyone,” chirpeth Her Momness.

“So?”

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3 Blogging Truths Nobody Tells You

Red And Blue Parrot · Free Stock Photo

Kimber’s buddy Rosencrantz.

The response to a prior post on why you don’t need to blog every day was really positive and kind of surprising. So we decided to do an encore-ish thing. Sort of. Like this:

Ever wish someone had told you how to get from Point A to Point B as a blogger? What to do and what to avoid? What works and what’s a waste of time?

Mom and I? We wish someone had told us some things when we first started blogging (shortly after the discovery of fire). After many, many fits and starts and enough mistakes and mis-steps to choke a camel, Her Momness finally started paying attention to me.

Well. You know Mom.

So today we’re sharing some essential blogging truths we learned away. Hope you find these three truths helpful:

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