Worst Hero Ever

By Archer Thorn (Blackstone Publishing, April 2025)

Genre: Fiction: Fantasy/Sci Fi/Humor/Action-Adventure

Pages (print): 211 + Glossary)

Via: Author Request

Riddles? Secret doors? Some faceless evil pulling the strings? A dead sister who may not be dead? Double-crosses? Betrayals? All kinds of techno gizmos and mechanical doodads with minds of their own? What could possibly go wrong?

Kimber: Wait! Wait! The first thing you need to know about this book is that it’s about me! Kimster the Amazing! Kimster the PAWsome! Kimster the marvelous wonder dog and stupendously splendiferous and seriously stunning super hero!

Mom: Dial it back a little, will ya Kimmi?

Kimber: What? Okay, okay. I s’pose we better go on with the book review?

Mom: Not much gets past you, does it?

Kimber: That’s what super heroes do. Nothing gets past us! Unlike that Jim Riven “worst” guy in this new fantasy book. So just remember. I’m the Real Deal, okay?

Since you asked Real Nice, here’s the 4-1-1 on the book:

The Basics:

Jim “Lode” Riven has been a nobody for a decade. Think as inspiring as overcooked rutabagas. Jim wants to keep it that way, thank you very much. But Spectrum – the world’s premier hero team – has other ideas for the 28-year-old and his mysterious electrical powers. According to Lord Neon, Jim’s sister Summer, known to the world as Lock, disappeared “and likely perished in a battle with the villain Framework.” At least that’s the official story.

But Spectrum has lied to Jim before. Are they lying now? Could his sister be alive, awaiting rescue? Is the truth about Lock hidden somewhere in the Spectrum’s base? It’s a place where everyone – not even heroes – are who they seem to be, and secrets are as thick as Jim Riven’s snark. Besides. How can Jim find the truth and find a new custodian, too? What’s an ex-hero, bar owner to do?

Presto! Change-o!

Well. Our reluctant, recalcitrant un-hero goes from Jim Riven to James Cranston. His cover is “a harmless but occasionally useful power that has prompted him to adopt the hero moniker Interrupter.” He’s supposed to compete in the Dare as a cover for his real mission: tracking the info. he needs to find his sister. There’s just one teensy-weensy catch: Jim will have to work with a ragtag group of wannabe heroes – and one villain – while keeping his true identity secret and trying to survive long enough to find the truth. Will he?

“Uh,” he said eloquently, blinking hard.

Clever, Quirky

Worst Hero Ever is a clever and quirky blend of sci fi, fantasy, rapier wit, off-the-wall humor and groanworthy puns. (So we felt right at home!) Think It Takes a Thief meets Transformers, The Hunger Games, and The Avengers. Plus all the creatures in the Mos Eisley Cantina Scene in Star Wars: A New Hope. Because, hey. Why not? Add a dash of Get Smart (the older than dirt crowd will get that. Hi, Mom). A Glossary is included so you don’t get lost.

And what’s up with that Geometron chick? Kimber: She purrs like the neighborhood powder puff. Red alert! Red alert! And Jim’s “secondary power – the rare one he never talked about?” Also, watch out for tornado chick. And worth a shot. And why are there only seven capes?

“I’m a mania, maaaaaaaic, and I’m dancing but I forgot the wooooords…”

Meanwhile, keep an eye out for batteries. Teardrops. Dark Sympathy. The Chaos Merchant. Aethyr. Turbo-Lizards. Purple centurions. Captain Eggplant. Follow the green line.

“Say that again, brain, and I’ll force you to watch Downton Abbey. The entire series.”

Basic Recipe

Worst Hero Ever is Book One in the Black Cape Saga. The basic recipe? Start with Fresh. Add Originality. Stir in Creativity. Season with one wise-cracking reluctant hero and generous dollop of tongue-in-cheek humor. Simmer with extra Sass and Spunk. Ladle out a fast-paced sci fi/fantasy that’s a kick in the pants. The result may have you chuckling so hard, you snort lemonade out your nose (don’t ask how we know that).

Like Rice Krispies

One thing that makes this book a hoot and a half is the wry wit and dry humor. The former could cut paper. Or steel girders. The latter is as dry as the Sahara Desert. Taken together, they’re snort-lemonade-out-your-nose hilarious. Still. The snarky repartee between Jim and pretty much everyone, friend or foe, snaps, crackles and pops like a bowl of Rice Krispies. With milk.

Her Royal Momness and I couldn’t agree on a rating for this puppy. So, we’re rendering a split decision. Like this:

For creativity, originality, and rapier wit: 4.0

For creativity, originality, and endless, multiple fight scenes that go on and on forever and ever amen: 3.0

Final score: 3.5

 

 

 

Rice Krispies image credit.