Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie


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Why This ‘Monster’ Surprised Us

Someone say, “Make like a tree and leaf”?

Bet you think we’re gonna do a “Halloween” post today, huh? Nah. Her Royal Momness and I? We’re not big Halloweeners. But we are big Frank Peretti fans. Ever since This Present Darkness.

So when we found a copy of an old Peretti novel we hadn’t yet read at a library book sale the other day, we scooped it up like The Kimster after a T-bone steak. We’re talkin’ nano-second here. Especially since it was a hardback book. For like, a quarter. Oh yeah.

The 4-1-1

Anyway, here’s the 4-1-1 on Peretti’s thriller novel, Monster:

More terrifying than any nightmare, something has scathed a very real path thru the Idaho hills, paving it in blood and echoing screams. It lives, it hunts, and it’s just getting started.

This time, the monster is real.

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Storytime and 1600+ Kinds of Beautiful  

Moms are a Special Kind of Someone. Silent and strong. Mouthy and mushy. 1600+ kinds of beautiful.

I know this is so because Mom says so.

Moms are sometimes sentimental. Like the other day. Mom, The Kid and I were walking home from the library. All of a sudden Mom gets all misty-eyed. Something about Fridays and Storytime at the library.

“Do you remember how we used to walk over to the library every week for Storytime when you were a little kid?” she says to my brother. He’s the youngest. I have three other brothers older than him. “How did you get to be 19 so fast?” she asks.

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10+ Bark-Worthy Books Set in Exotic-ish Locales

You don’t have to say it. I know I’m beautiful. Also shy, modest, and retiring.

Kimber here with another edition of Fine Wine Fridays. (I was holding out for Excellently Scrumptious and Splendiferous Book Lists That Are So Delicious, They’re Even Better Than My Fave Dog Chow or Squeaky Toy. Mom nixed that. Ugh.)

Anyway, today we’re highlighting books set in exotic locales or other continents. So if you liked Peter Pan or Narnia, you may like… Oh, wait. Scratch that. These are set in real places, not Neverland or Aslan’s Country (Mom, you are no fun!)

Squirrel!

Wait. Where was I?

Oh yeah. Fun, interesting, engaging reads in other settings. Some titles are old. Some are new. They may be even better than my squeaky toy. (But I’m still holding on to it. Just in case.) So here, in no particular order, are:

10+ bark-worthy books set in exotic-ish locales:

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The Slug & I and a New Spy Thriller

Didya miss us?

Kimber the Magnificent here. Her Momness can’t come to the blog write now (that’s not a typo.) She’s being a lazy slug. Slacking on this post-y/bloggy thing. So I decided to step in and take over. After all, someone has to be the adult in the room. (And we all know who that leaves out, right?)

Anyway, the Slug and I? We’ve read like, 98 million books since our last post-y thing. Well. Okay. Maybe not “98 million.” Maybe only 97. But anyway. I wanted to tell ya about the last historical fiction thing-y we read. Cuz someone has to, Slugville notwithstanding. So here goes:

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5 Reasons “Bestselling Author” Doesn’t Mean Beans

‘Wait. Is that Sasquatch?’

Hello Friends!

If you’ve been with us for any length of time – say, 20 minutes or so – you know that Mom and I are like, totally unimpressed with the words “Best-selling author.” Or its kissing cousins, “(fill in the blank) Award Winner.” Ditto“Over a bazillion copies in print.” The fact that everyone and their neighbor’s cat is crowing about a new release impresses us about as much as a plate of overcooked cabbage. Without the plate.

Yeppers. We’ve heaped praise on unknown indie authors who’ve earned it. We’ve also panned Pulitzer Prize winners who deserved it. Ya just never know.

So here, in living technicolor, is our latest round of best-sellers that bombed. According to us. We read these so’s you don’t have to. You’re welcome:

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5 Cool Authors for Cold Weather and Turkey Leftovers

I was just a young pup last fall. Chewing on slippers. Dish towels. Wayward fingers. Learning Come. Down. Jump. Sit and Stay. Also how to jitterbug. That just kinda happened. I mean, who can listen to In the Mood sitting still?

Anyway. I’m coming up on eight and a half years now. So I’ve left all that baby stuff behind. Well, some of it. But I’ve gotten pretty good at chasing fallen leaves. Wearing that stupid “doggie jacket” Mom insists on when the temperature drops below forty degrees. Swiping turkey leftovers when no one’s lookin’.

Even though it’s cold and crisp outside, it’s not all bad. A neighbor’s cat, Sir Puddleglum, is staying indoors most of the time. (That’s not the orange tabby’s real name. I just call him that because it gets his goat. Or his cat nip. Whatever.)

Anyway again. Apple cider. Crunching leaves. Snoozing by the fireplace. Mom says fall is a great time to re-read some favorite authors. She showed me her list. I’m passing it on to you at no extra charge. (Don’t tell anyone.)

5 Cool Authors for Cold Weather (in no particular order):

1. Earl Hamner, Jr.

Hamner is best known as the creator, executive producer, and warm narrative voice of The Waltons. He wrote several books, including the autobiographical Spencer’s Mountain and The Homecoming. The latter inspired the movie of the same name. It became the pilot that launched The Waltons. You can almost hear the snow fall… G’night John Boy…

2. Jill Hucklesby

Never heard of her? Me neither. Until Mom swooped into the library and yanked Samphire Song off a shelf. The librarian said it was on the “weeding” (death) list. She felt sorry for it. Read it. Loved it. Said it’s brisk. Engaging. Beautifully written, with memorable characters. The story revolves around a young girl, Jodie, and her half-wild stallion, Samphire. Both are damaged. They inch their ways toward healing together.

3. John Eldredge

A multi-published author of best sellers like Wild at Heart, John is a Mom perennial favorite. He has a warm, cogent, and down-to-earth writing style. Bonus points: I hear John’s a Dog Guy.

4. Richard Paul Evans

Mom says this guy is a prolific, award-winning author perhaps best known for The Christmas Box. Richard publishes a book every year, usually when temperatures start dropping. Says Mom: Richard’s gentle, uplifting stories are a great choice for curl-up-near-the-fireplace reading!

5. Gary Paulsen

Looking for larger-than-life outdoor adventure told with a keen eye for detail and a gritty, spunky writing style? Gary Paulsen’s your guy, according to Mom. His many books include The Hatchet series, Dogsong, Harris and Me, Woodsong, and Winterdance.

Even Sir Puddleglum can’t complain about that.

Hey. You gonna finish that turkey sandwich? Askin’ for a friend.


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Clean & Uplifting Alternatives to Kristin Hannah Novels

Kristin Hannah is a “#1 New York Times Bestselling Author.” She’s “Superb at delving into the character’s psyches and delineating nuances of feeling.” Her books are “full of honest emotion.”

Yawn.

So. Not. Impressed. Truth is, kids, Kristin Hannah novels are a mixed bag. Yeppers, she’s a prodigious talent. Greatly skilled at weaving masterful, suspenseful tales packed with emotion and dripping with drama. Her stories are compelling and usually read-it-in-a-day kind of quick.

But they often leave us feeling like we oughtta wash our eyes out with soap. Or take a shower inside our head.

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The Year’s Most Over-Rated Book?

It took some doin’. But Her Momness and I? We were up to the challenge!

“What challenge?” ask ye.

Finding The Most Over-Rated Book of the Year.

Now, there were some real doozies in the running, mind you. With apologies to high school English teachers everywhere, neither of us can abide ‘stream of consciousness’ prose a la Faulkner. That’s one reason The Sound and the Fury made the list previously. Ditto Wuthering Heights and The Great Gatsby. And no, you won’t find The Most Over-Rated Book in the English Language on our list either. Hint: Catcher in the Rye. Gag me with Meow Mix!

But we just plowed through the Sorriest Slog of ‘Em All. We’re talking dull as a blunt spoon. If boring, bland and redundant were Olympic sports, this hunka junk would bring home the gold.

Can you guess what galactically lousy title gets the nod?

Great. We’ll tell you:

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What Makes a ‘Classic’ Read? 3 Examples, 7 Key Elements

 What makes a classic?

I mean, besides being all bright, beautiful and brilliant like me, Kimber the Classic Magnificent Wonder?

A true classic. “Hey, it’s me!”

Glad you asked. We’re gonna get to that. So just hang on a min, Cream Puff. Cuz right now we’re gonna play a bookish guessing game. Like this:

Can you identify the classic books and/or authors in which these first lines appear? (Answers below.)

  1. “All children, except one, grow up.”
  2. “Walking back to camp through the swamp, Sam wondered whether to tell his father what he had seen.”
  3. “The wind blew hard and joggled the water of the ocean, sending ripples across its surface.”

Now that you have your thinking cap on – no idea what that is; Mom’s idea – here’s another question: What do these opening lines all have in common?

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