First off, this is NOT a bookish post. This is a KIMBER-ish post. So if you’re okay with that, keep reading. If not, you know what to do. As long as it doesn’t involve chocolate. Lemme explain. Like this:

How to have a heart attack in 3 easy steps 🐾

1. Notice something’s wrong with the world’s sweetest furry face.
2. Find an empty bag of almond bark on her bed. (Left behind by a son who shall remain nameless when he moved out last summer. It was unopened, double-sealed. But apparently not Kimber proof.🐾)
3. It’s the weekend. The vet’s office is closed. Nearest emergency vet services are over an hour away. With a “6 to 8 hour wait, minimum.”

The Great Almond Bark Disaster occurred one month to the day after a family member’s trip to the E.R. with anaphylaxic shock. (Hi, Lisinopril. Incidentally, 15 hours in the E.R. is a really lousy way to spend the night/next day. In case you’re wondering.)

The little stinker (the furry one) is back to her usual “I love everyone, ain’t life grand?” effervescent self today. Bein’ All Magnificent and everythin’.

Her Crankiness is still recovering.

‘Meanwhile, back at the ranch,’ one of us is So Not Interested in racking up any more emergency frequent flyer miles. Mom’s just funny that way. 🤦‍♀️

Reminder: NEVER give your dog chocolate. It can be deadly. Kimber was lucky. The jury’s still out on Her Crankiness.

Now if we can just get Kimber the Intrepid to the U.N. She’d have world peace figured out in no time. As long as it doesn’t involve almond bark.

The ASPCA Animal Poison Hotline number is:(888) 426-4435.

We will return to our regularly scheduled broadcast next time.