So Mom and I are diving into that “Christmas reading” thing. With both feet. And four paws. I’m not quite sure what ‘Christmas reading’ means. But if Mom likes it, then so do I!
We have some perennial favorites. Like Richard Paul Evans’ The Christmas Box. Earl Hamner Jr.’s The Homecoming. The Polar Express. That green dude, Whoville, and his dog Max. Luke 2.
We also grab some new titles every year. That’s how we found Dear Santa. By Nancy Naigle. I’ll let The ‘Ole Curmudgeon fill ya in:
Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
“Go to the oldest part (of the hospital archives). It is there where time stands still, but history continues to move forward.”
Thomas Bauer, MD, PhD is an exhausted psychiatrist with a crumbling marriage and an estranged wife and young son. Thomas is also on the outs with the administration at Saint Elizabeths (sic) Hospital in D.C. And he’s trying to get out from under the shadow of his famous psychiatrist father, Dr. Harold Bauer. Thomas Bauer harbors nagging questions about his dad’s roll in some nefarious “research” at Saint E’s. Did Harold Bauer’s research partner, Dr. Matthias Levi, figure out a way to “send consciousness through time”? If so, at what cost? And what is “Case 47”?
“Secrecy always shrouded the tenure of Levi and his father. Mysteries that fueled a burning curiosity for years.”
“So who are you and what have you done with Nicholas Sparks?” Her Momness asketh the other day. I’m pretty sure it’s a “rhetorical question.” Not sure what that means. Except that Mom’s been reading Nicholas Sparks since just after the discovery of fire. And apparently she was, shall we say, less than impressed with this tome? Here’s why:
Someone say, “Make like a tree and leaf”?
Bet you think we’re gonna do a “Halloween” post today, huh? Nah. Her Royal Momness and I? We’re not big Halloweeners. But we are big Frank Peretti fans. Ever since This Present Darkness.
So when we found a copy of an old Peretti novel we hadn’t yet read at a library book sale the other day, we scooped it up like The Kimster after a T-bone steak. We’re talkin’ nano-second here. Especially since it was a hardback book. For like, a quarter. Oh yeah.
Anyway, here’s the 4-1-1 on Peretti’s thriller novel, Monster:
More terrifying than any nightmare, something has scathed a very real path thru the Idaho hills, paving it in blood and echoing screams. It lives, it hunts, and it’s just getting started.
This time, the monster is real.
Kimber the Magnificent here. Her Momness can’t come to the blog write now (that’s not a typo.) She’s being a lazy slug. Slacking on this post-y/bloggy thing. So I decided to step in and take over. After all, someone has to be the adult in the room. (And we all know who that leaves out, right?)
Anyway, the Slug and I? We’ve read like, 98 million books since our last post-y thing. Well. Okay. Maybe not “98 million.” Maybe only 97. But anyway. I wanted to tell ya about the last historical fiction thing-y we read. Cuz someone has to, Slugville notwithstanding. So here goes:
Kristin Hannah is a “#1 New York Times Bestselling Author.” She’s “Superb at delving into the character’s psyches and delineating nuances of feeling.” Her books are “full of honest emotion.”
Yawn.
So. Not. Impressed. Truth is, kids, Kristin Hannah novels are a mixed bag. Yeppers, she’s a prodigious talent. Greatly skilled at weaving masterful, suspenseful tales packed with emotion and dripping with drama. Her stories are compelling and usually read-it-in-a-day kind of quick.
But they often leave us feeling like we oughtta wash our eyes out with soap. Or take a shower inside our head.
It took some doin’. But Her Momness and I? We were up to the challenge!
“What challenge?” ask ye.
Finding The Most Over-Rated Book of the Year.
Now, there were some real doozies in the running, mind you. With apologies to high school English teachers everywhere, neither of us can abide ‘stream of consciousness’ prose a la Faulkner. That’s one reason The Sound and the Fury made the list previously. Ditto Wuthering Heights and The Great Gatsby. And no, you won’t find The Most Over-Rated Book in the English Language on our list either. Hint: Catcher in the Rye. Gag me with Meow Mix!
But we just plowed through the Sorriest Slog of ‘Em All. We’re talking dull as a blunt spoon. If boring, bland and redundant were Olympic sports, this hunka junk would bring home the gold.
Can you guess what galactically lousy title gets the nod?
Great. We’ll tell you:
I mean, besides being all bright, beautiful and brilliant like me, Kimber the Classic Magnificent Wonder?
A true classic. “Hey, it’s me!”
Glad you asked. We’re gonna get to that. So just hang on a min, Cream Puff. Cuz right now we’re gonna play a bookish guessing game. Like this:
Can you identify the classic books and/or authors in which these first lines appear? (Answers below.)
Now that you have your thinking cap on – no idea what that is; Mom’s idea – here’s another question: What do these opening lines all have in common?
Rodeos. Barrel racing. A serial killer. A heroine named Hazel.
A heroine named Hazel? Say what? you say.
Yo! Her Momness and I will get to that shortly. So kindly keep your hair on, Cookie. First a little back story:
I was waiting outside The Book Place the other day with the patience of Job while Mom was inside, skipping merrily through the stacks looking for something to nab. She skidded to a halt in front of the Lucky Day shelf. For you young whippersnappers, this is an actual, physical shelf near the checkout where lots of the latest releases live. So if you find one that’s available for checkout it’s like, “Whoa Nellie*! It’s my Luck Day!” (*Mom Speak for “Whoa, Nellie.” Super excited.)
One of us – the one who’s been around since the Ark made landfall – is old enough to remember this super cool TV show called Walt Disney’s Wonderful World of Color.
Remember that one? Hosted by Walt Disney. Came on Sunday nights. Right after Lassie, Kimber’s alter ego. (Arf! Arf!) Had some of the best family entertainment around.
But the real hook? The opening where Tinkerbell flies around Sleeping Beauty’s castle, waves her fairy wand and splashes Living technicolor all over the logo. It was like magic. Repeat for you young whipper-snappers: It was like magic. (This was waaaay before the days of cheating with CGI and all that jazz.)
Anyway. What if you could find storybooks with that kind of magic for your littleun? Well. Thanks to Storybug, you can.
Pages & Paws 