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Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie

Category Archives: Blogging & Writing


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5 Reasons “Bestselling Author” Doesn’t Mean Beans

‘Wait. Is that Sasquatch?’

Hello Friends!

If you’ve been with us for any length of time – say, 20 minutes or so – you know that Mom and I are like, totally unimpressed with the words “Best-selling author.” Or its kissing cousins, “(fill in the blank) Award Winner.” Ditto“Over a bazillion copies in print.” The fact that everyone and their neighbor’s cat is crowing about a new release impresses us about as much as a plate of overcooked cabbage. Without the plate.

Yeppers. We’ve heaped praise on unknown indie authors who’ve earned it. We’ve also panned Pulitzer Prize winners who deserved it. Ya just never know.

So here, in living technicolor, is our latest round of best-sellers that bombed. According to us. We read these so’s you don’t have to. You’re welcome:

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eBook or Hard Copy?

We’ve all heard about ’em.  Seen ’em.  Some of us own more than one.

We’re talking about the latest and greatest in communication technology: iPhones, smart phones, iPads, texting.  Handy-dandy little items, these, especially when it comes to capturing creative genius on the fly.  Right?  Uh, right?

Being all magnificent and everything.

Put another way: what recording device does Her Momness use to lasso that creative blogging gem before it stales and staggers into the overcrowded corral of busy forgetfulness? What’s her preferred reading format – print or ebook?

Kindly keep your shirt on, Toots. We’ll get to all of that in a min. But first things first:

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35 Most Memorable Opening Lines Ever

Opening lines. They can pull you into book and urge ya to go further, or turn ya off so’s ya move on.

Mom and me, we’ve been around long enough to know some good opening lines when we see ‘em. So we made a list. Checked it twice. And came up with our 100% unscientific, totally subjective list of 35 Most Memorable Opening Lines Ever. From books we’ve actually read.

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Hark! Her Grumpiness Speaketh! (I’d Listen Up ‘Fize You)

Her Royal Grumpiness is all grumpified today. For two reasons: 1) Glasses; 2) The Book Place.

Short version: New prescription eye glasses ain’t working. Only way Her Momness can read a computer screen is by tilting her head up and looking through the bottom of the lenses. So not happenin’. What was that optometrist thinking? So annoying.

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3 Blogging Truths Nobody Tells You

Red And Blue Parrot · Free Stock Photo

Kimber’s buddy Rosencrantz.

The response to a prior post on why you don’t need to blog every day was really positive and kind of surprising. So we decided to do an encore-ish thing. Sort of. Like this:

Ever wish someone had told you how to get from Point A to Point B as a blogger? What to do and what to avoid? What works and what’s a waste of time?

Mom and I? We wish someone had told us some things when we first started blogging (shortly after the discovery of fire). After many, many fits and starts and enough mistakes and mis-steps to choke a camel, Her Momness finally started paying attention to me.

Well. You know Mom.

So today we’re sharing some essential blogging truths we learned away. Hope you find these three truths helpful:

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30-ish Favorite Authors of All Time

Hold on to your bacon, friends! Cuz Her Royal Momness has come up with a Royal Doozie this time! Yes sirree, Lassie!

You know how the more you read, the more you begin to get favorite authors? Realize that no matter what they publish, the way they write and structure their work is going to pull you in every time? Like that nice, juicy burger left unattended on the backyard barbecue, so when no one was lookin’…

What?

Oh, right. Favorite authors of all time.

This is harder than you may think. And think. And think. And think again. But some hoomans asked about our fave authors the other day. So we’re up to the task. Or the Royal Doozie, as the case may be.

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15 Summer Hits & Misses


Kimber the Magnificent: Summer’s winding down and Her Momness and I thought now would be a good time to revisit some Summer Hits and Misses. 

So we’re gonna include some Seriously Pawsome Reads and some Kitty Litter Box candidates. Fifteen in all. In no particular order.

Ready? Set? Let’s go!

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How To Make the Most of a Writing Contest

Being all Beautiful and Brilliant and Everything.

Turning a corner here today into somethin’ a little diff: writing contests.

Raise your paw if this has ever happened to you. (It’s okay. Nobody’s lookin’.):

You’re cruising the internet, local bookstore or writer’s group and come across an announcement for a writing contest. It may be fiction or non. Short story, humor, poetry. Whatever. You’re intrigued. You check out the guidelines. Polish your best material to a solar sheen. Submit. And cross your fingers.

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Book Bridges: When Moms Get Dewy-Eyed & Sparkly

It looked like this here yesterday. And like:

So Mom and I decided a soggy Saturday’s a good day to clean out the attic. (It seemed like a good idea at the time.)

Now, you may not know this about me. But I’m a Great Attic Clean-Up Supervisor. I found a comfy rug. Laid down. Watched Mom cart stuff up and down the stairs. Dust. Categorize. Box. Un-box. Re-box.

Supervisin’s a tough job. But somebody’s gotta do it.

Anyway, Mom opened this one box. And sat down. “Oh my!” says she. “Kimmi, look at this!”

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Should I Blog Every Day?

Six words that strike terror into the heart of bloggers:

Please share your latest blog post.

This according to Her Mom-ness. Me? I’m cool with a daily walk and “dinner” twel… I mean twice a day. But you know how moms are. For as long as I can remember – both minutes – Her Mom-ness has insisted that:

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