Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie

Category Archives: Just for fun


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It’s Not About You

Fall sky off Riverside Bridge

“Good writing is supposed to evoke sensation in the reader, not the fact that it’s raining, but the feeling of being rained upon.”

– E.L. Doctorow

Writers are a rare breed.  As I’ve said before, a real writer is more of a writing “addict” than a hobbyist.  He or she writes because s/he can’t not write.  A real writer feels compelled to write, is bursting with ideas, stories, plots, metaphors, characters, a clever turn of the phrase.  One way to spot an amateur is someone who, when asked why they write, responds with something like, “Because I want to be famous” “I’m expressing myself;” or the omnipresent, “I have something to say.”  When you hear that, you’re not hearing from a real writer, but a writer wannabee.  As master editor Sol Stein explains:

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Warm Weather Whirlwind?

School’s out.  Finally.  Summer sure took her time getting here, eh?  She gimped onto the calendar with the alacrity of a crippled snail.  Even so, as every cell of my being opens to the long-lost sun, drinking in a taste of summer, I’m celebrating.  Sort of.

Why?  Well, have you noticed?  Summer is a con artist, spritzing myths into gullible ears like mist in a hothouse.

Examples? After the ninety-miles-an-hour-with-your-hair-on-fire frenetic pace of the school year, summer cons us into thinking we’re in for a “break.”  “Slow down,” she coos, “kick back.  Rest up.  Wind down.  After all, it’s summer!”

Warm weather whirlwind?

Oh, really?

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Like Nailing Jell-o to a Tree

Back when I was young and foolish – about twenty minutes ago – I thought that the best way to vaunt into the exclusive echelons of “serious writer” status was to mimic The Best.  So I tried sounding like John Steinbeck, Anton Chekov, Charles M. Schulz and company.  Well, okay.  Maybe not Chekov.  But every time I sat down to write I’d think, “How would Hemingway or Jane Austen or Charlie Brown approach this?”

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How A World-Class Acrophobic Survived Pyramid Peak (sort of) & Writing It Real

Disclaimer: I may have done some pretty stupid things back when I was young and foolish – like yesterday – but nothing like hiking Pyramid Peak. At least not in the last 10 minutes. (Kids, don’t try this at home.)

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You know that saying about “There’s dangerous and doable and then there’s dangerous and stupid?” (If you’ve never heard it before, don’t worry. I just made it up.) Well, guess which category the Pyramid Peak hike fell into?

My husband, aka Snuggle Bunny, and I planned to do what we always do to celebrate our anniversary: hike the hinterlands. I mean, who needs romantic candlelit dinners and tiramisu when you can chug through every mosquito-ridden, rock-strewn traipse known to man in knee-deep mud and cushion your every fall with a nice, thick slab of granite while enjoying The Great Outdoors?

Pyramid Peak 2

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The Best Days

He was one long drink of water. Thirty-ish. Long and lean. Sweat shirt and tennis shoes. Spare as a scarecrow, with enough energy to power Seattle for a fortnight, solo. Maybe more.

It wasn’t quite how I had our Friday planned. It was supposed to be a quick library in and out. Swoop in. Return some checked-out books. Pick up some new ones. Dash out. Head for the nearest Hershey’s with almonds, lickety-split.

But Sarah the Intrepid Youth Services Librarian hornswoggled my son into attending a YA author’s presentation in the downstairs meeting room. Which meant she also hornswoggled me.

Sometimes the best days are unplanned.

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Finishing Touches

Hoq River Sunset 2Hey there, sports fans. It’s that time of year again.  Another school year’s in the rear view mirror. Whew. The Stanley Cup’s been awarded – way to go, Kings! – but there’s plenty more summer sports on tap. Baseball. Wimbledon tennis. The Tour de France (Yes, I confess. Been following that epic bicycle race for years).

Ditto summer reading programs. Fresh starts. New projects while the good weather holds and one summer-gilded day glides into the next.

Recent projects around here this summer include putting the finishing touches on my new web site. You won’t find any box scores or time trials here, but if you’re even a teensy-weeny bit partial to Mozart, have I got a deal for you! :)

Visit me at: Kristine Lowder, Author. Don’t forget to leave a comment.

By the way, if you’re an author or know an author looking for some exposure for your work this summer, check out my Author Avalanche page.

In the meantime, Batter up!


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Cozy Quilts and ‘Cave-Dwelling Neanderthals’

It’s no coincidence.  The writing compulsion most often grabs me by the neck and shakes me till my teeth rattle when I’m surrounded by books.  For a writer, there’s something inspirational about a library.  Being in the massed presence of so many other authors is like snuggling under a cozy quilt on a snowy day.

Here in the warm embrace of some of my favorite dead people, I’ve engaged in an experiment: I’m re-reading some of my favorite stories from childhood. There’s something steadying and bracing about unearthing and enjoying a book that’s still in circulation some forty years or so after finding it the first time.  It’s like digging up a pot of gold or swan-diving into an Olympic-sized pool of Hershey’s chocolate with almonds.

It’s also kind of strange.

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‘Desper-Doodles’ and Snake Oil Salesmen

“Never mistake motion for action” – Ernest Hemingway

If you’ve been at the writing trade for longer than twenty minutes or so, you’ve probably noticed the “desperate doodlers.”  These are the writer wannabees who are so desperate to break into print that they’ll pitch their work to anyone and everyone, even paying a third party to get “published.”  Those who continuously stoop to submitting anything, anywhere, with little to no regard to a publisher’s reputation, accessibility or integrity aren’t Real Writers so much as they are Desper-Doodles.  They’re dying to pad their scanty resumes with “publishing credits” from any Tom, Dick, or Harry that comes along and says “I’ll take that.”  (This can actually hurt you in the long run if you make it a habit.)

Heads Up

A word of clarity here: In the publishing world, “small” or “independent” doesn’t necessarily mean poor quality or ill repute.  Just because a publisher or literary outlet isn’t a household name doesn’t necessarily mean it’s a boiler-plate, fly-by-night outfit.  But it might.  So heads up: “Come one, come all” publishers who prey on inexperienced novice writers are a dime a dozen.  They’ll publish anything and everything, usually for a fee, regardless or quality or merit.  Some of these “publishers” make a living at predating on hapless souls who are willing to sell their firstborn for a chance to see their name in lights.

Look before you leap.  You may get your work “published” with some of these “snake oil” publishers, but good luck on finding anyone who’ll actually buy your book – let alone fall in as a loyal reader.

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Have you had an experience with a publishing “snake oil salesman?”

What did you learn?


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Nearly Nine Terrific Tips for Writing Humor

It’s a wet, rainy day here on the Peninsula.  Rain is slamming the house  sideways.  The wind is howling like a banshee.  (How does a banshee howl, anyway?)  It’s a perfect curl-up-with-a-good-book-by-the-fireplace kind of day.

If only we had a fireplace.

Well, even though it’s anything but dry weather around here, one thing we’re not short of is dry wit.  In honor of this surfeit, I’m throwing in a shameless plug for my newly released micro Ebook.  (It’s not only free, it’s also a quick by-the-fireplace read perfect for a wet, rainy day.  First time in downloadable Ebook format.  What a deal!)  It goes like this:

Have you tried humor writing only to crash and burn? Would your best material outlast the expiration date on a milk carton?  If so, do not despair.  My newest  micro Ebook, Nearly Nine Terrific Tips for Writing Humor, offers clear, concise and user-friendly tips that will have the crankiest curmudgeon laughing in no time!

Download your FREE copy today and do me a quick favor.  Post a review or “Like” it on the Smashwords page.  Then join the party at Kristine Lowder, Writer.  Stop by, leave a comment and be sure to share your own links!  For more, visit: Nearly Nine.

Also, for those of you who write memoirs and/or creative non-fiction, check out: Dream of Things.  Lots of good stuff here.  Worth a look-see.

What writing resources have you found in the last week?  Who or what has helped you pursue your calling as a writer?  Share in the comments section.


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When It Looks Like You’re Writing (But You’re Really Not)

The rationale went something like:

I’ll just check my email lickety-split, be done with it and carry on with my day.

It’s rarely that simple.  Or quick.  It can suck you into a tentacly grip for hours.  For a writer, “checking my email” can easily turn into a bottomless sieve funneling time and mental energy away from writing. It’s a distraction.  A thin veneer of “working” when you’re really not.

It was a bad habit I needed to break.

So I made a decision.  I raised my right hand and repeated after me: “Quiet time first.  Read and write before email.  Read and write before email.  I will do something other than check my email first if it kills me!”

Know what?  Not only am i not dead, but my days opened up when I re-arranged my morning priorities.  There’s a spaciousness that wasn’t there when I was a slave to my dad blame email.  I’m not as frazzled.  That feeling of being tugged in 98 different directions at once is gone.  Well, almost. (I still check, I’m just not chained to it anymore.   Don’t look at me like that.  If you’re reading this, I bet you know exactly what I mean.)

Why didn’t I think of this sooner?

What habits will you break that interfere with your writing?  Share with us in the comments section.

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Are you a writer?  How do you know?

Find out!  Grab a free copy of my micro ebook, Skipping the Tiramisu: Becoming The Writer You Were Born to Be when you subscribe to my monthly-ish newsletter, Wreal 8.

To thank you for reading and being awesome, both are FREE!