Pages & Paws

Writing, Reading, and Rural Life With a Border Collie


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‘Way of the Bow’ Leaves Room to Wander (and Wonder)

Kimber: Okay, Mom. Time for a pop quiz.

Mom (being her usual alert, coherent self): Huh?

Kimber: Whaddya get when you roll Ethan Hunt, Luther Stickell, and Kwai Chang Caine all into one, to the tune of Life Is A Highway?

Mom: Is this a trick question?  

It could be in this thriller where Zen Buddhist spook dude teams up with handy-dandy computer nerd while on the run from some uber bad guys in this up and down action/adventure tome. It called Way of the Bow. By Vince Fratello.

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Sarge is a warrior with the NSA and the “Gray Consultants.” Very hush-hush. Very effective. He’s also 65 years old. Trying to retire. Bernie’s a computer nerd. Aka: expert hacker. Both skill sets come in handy. Especially when people are trying to kill you. 

This storyline is the strongest part of the book. What follows as Sarge and Bernie team up to get to the bottom of what happened and why and head for D.C. for answers is a mixed bag.

Most of the rest of the book is about the people and places Sarge and Bernie encounter as they make their way from the West Coast to D.C. This includes an extensive cast of colorful characters like the dude with the ultralight, Gwen the horse lady and the guys in the boxcar en route to Montana. Tough-as-nails with a heart of gold Catholic nun, Sister Rose-Carolyn. A ride aboard an eighteen-wheeler. A dash to Chicago with Carrie and her EV camper van, The Beast. A side run into MMNA, judo, jiu jitsu and aikido. Salem Sue, the World’s Largest Holstein Cow. It’s also a bit gastro pub on wheels. So you might want to bring a fork. Or two.

While eloquent and articulate, we felt the book loses focus and meanders into metaphysical sermonizing a little too often. And that’s too bad. Because it’s actually pretty well written, with sturdy characters, credible dialogue and generous doses of dry humor, which we totally love. But when it strays from spook thriller about uncovering a deadly conspiracy at the highest levels and wanders into Adventures in Zen Land, the action/adventure angle gets lost in the reeds.


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Why ‘Awake For Ever’ Will Put You to Sleep

Awake For Ever in a Sweet Unrest

By Chuck Rosenthal

Genre: Your guess is as good as ours

Pages: 102

Via: Publicist Request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

No Sominex needed!

Cut to the Chase

Let’s just cut to the chase on this one, okay? What a dud. This book is so busy trying to be clever or hip or something, it forgets to create a coherent story. That kinda matters. Especially if you’re gonna pitch it to us for review.

Newsflash: We don’t do muddled and mussy. We’re just funny that way.

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ATTN AUTHORS! BEFORE You Request a Review…

– We interrupt our regularly scheduled blogging to bring you this important news bulletin –

Mom and I spend tons of time combing through review requests and deciding what we will or won’t accept. If a book is accepted, we may spend hours and hours or days reading it. And more time crafting a brilliant and pithy review.

Huge

It’s a huge investment of time and energy. We don’t charge any fees for reviews. We don’t get a cent for doing this. Not one penny. Our time and talent is free to you, Cupcake. 

At Least

So THE LEAST YOU CAN DO is Like, Comment, and Share the Post Link for a positive review of 3.0 or above. This not only helps promote your book, it also boosts post visibility. So again:

Required

Liking, Commenting, and Sharing the Link to a positive review is a REQUIREMENT for anyone asking for a review. If you don’t do so within three days of post publication, we will remove the post.

Think Again

Don’t think we’ll do it, Toots? Think again. Reviews of the following books have been removed because the author(s) failed to adhere to our Like, Comment, and Share requirement outlined above:

The Treasure of Tundavala Gap

Storybug Picture Books

Punctuation Retreat

The Mat as a Mirror: Reflecting Stories of Women’s Strength & Confidence Through Jiu-Jitsu

Perestroika Percolates With Perspicacity

Memoir Highlights Self-Discovery After Stroke

Professional Joy Spreading and 4 New Ones For Little’Uns

July and Everything After

***

Don’t think we don’t notice. We do. 

Kimber: And you sooooo do not want to get catty-wampuss to The Old Curmudgeon. Bad idea. Really bad idea.

And to those authors and publicists who do take the time to adhere to our requirements, THANK YOU! You’re still PAWsome!

– We will now return you to our regularly scheduled blogging – 

 


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Hark! Now Taking NEW Review Requests

ANNOUNCEMENT!

If you’re lookin’ for angels cha-cha-ing through the realms of glory, singe-ing chestnuts on an open fire (Mom’s special expertise) or ringing sleigh bells, sorry to disappoint with this here announcement thingy.

Now Taking New Review Requests

But if you’ve been waiting for word about when we plan to re-open to new review requests, you’re in luck! Or gravy. Or leftover turkey. Or… something yummy.

After trying to climb out from underneath a Mount Everest backlog of review requests we had stacked up from here to breakfast, we’re finally seeing daylight. So we’re re-opening the review request queue to new requests.

Cuz today’s the day!

I, Kimber the Magnificent, officially declare Pages and Pages (Re) OPEN for new review requests.

You’re welcome. Just don’t inundate us all at once, okay? While you’re at it, kindly note that we reserve the right to decline any submission for any reason whatsoever without any explanation. Period.

PLEASE READ. THE. GUIDELINES

Our Rating System and Submission Guidelines exist for a reason, okay? So for the NINE MILLIONTH TIME, kindly save us both some time and effort by Reading Our Submission Guidelines BEFORE you hit us up with your magnum opus.

Like Santa

Cuz Mom and I? We’re kinda like Santa. We make a list. Check it twice. We find out who’s naughty and nice when it comes to review requests. Like, we know exactly who does and does not read our Submission Guidelines. Always. And believe you me, you so do not want to get on The ‘Ole Curmudgeon’s bad side(s) by submitting stuff we’re not interested in. Or committing the other Unpardonable Sin: Getting a positive review (3.0 rating or above) and failing to Like, Comment on, or Share the post within three days of publication. We know that, too. (Failure to do so can and usually does result in removal of the post.)

So I’d listen up ‘fize you.

We will now return you to our regularly scheduled cha-cha-ing.

Wait. Is that eggnog?

Submission Guidelines

 


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How to Fireproof Your New Year’s Resolutions

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!

Do you do New Year’s resolutions? Mom says these reso thingies are how some hoomans ring in the New Year. Like: This year I’m gonna:

  • Lose weight.
  • Get out of debt.
  • Quit eating junk food.
  • Curate world peace.
  • Share my filet mignon with Kimber. (Hey, a sweet furry face can dream, right?)
Oh, what a beautiful New Year!

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Our Top 10 Titles of 2024

“Yo! Wazzup?”

The Ask

Her Momness and I have been kicking back, enjoying the holidays and being lazy slugs. That’s why you haven’t seen us here lately. Then someone asked, “So, Kimber and Mom. What are your top ten titles for 2024?” Actually, it was several someones. But who’s counting?

Almost 600

Well. One of us – the sweet furry-faced one smiled sweetly at that question. The other kind of shrugged it off. (Hi, Mom.)  I mean, sheesh.  We read close to 600 titles this year. So “Top Ten” or “Best Books We Read in 2024”? Really?

Told ya!

Told ya.

But the question kept coming. Responding turned out to be harder than we thought. A lot harder. In case you’re wondering, Cupcake. And even if you’re not. But not for the reason you may think. Like this:

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The Best Gifts of Christmas

“… all snug in her bed…”

Kimber: Mom just called me in from the yard. ‘Bout time. That big yellow ball in the sky is starting to spread across the horizon like a giant egg yolk. Temperatures are dropping. The Powder Puff just sauntered past. Why that canine lets her owner deck her out in that green and red jacket + reindeer antlers, I’ll never know.

Anyway, when Mom opened the porch door, I caught a whiff of Something Warm and Wonderful inside. She says, “Kimber, dinner! Come!”

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A Five Minute Festive

Merry Christmas Dear Readers!

 

Mom and I have cooked up something short and sweet for you today. Well, actually we cooked this up last year. But who’s counting? Besides. Ya see, one of us is being a lazy slug today (Hi, Mom).  Come to think of it, I, Kimber, am a bit tuckered, too.

Mom says solitude can be hard to come by in our rush-rush, hurry up, instant everything society. Grabbing a few quiet moments to refresh and recharge can be a challenge any time. But it’s particularly tough during the holidays, huh?

This One’s For You

So if holiday merry-making has you ready to tear your hair out or your festive feathers are a bit ruffled, this is for you.

Slow down.  Grab a hot cuppa. Plop in a peppermint stick. Sit down. Put your feet up. Give Manheim Steamroller’s Stille Nacht (Silent Night) a listen.  Five quiet minutes. You’ll be glad you did.

Know someone who could use a yuletide boost? Don’t forget to share!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Snowy field image credit: Public domain

 


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Honoring Eve

Every year on this day we pause to remember and pay tribute to one of the best friends we ever had. 

Her name was Eve.

She was the most beautiful Yellow Lab ya ever saw.

We post the following reflection every year in Eve’s honor.

This is her story: Remembering Eve.

 

 

 


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Kimber Awards 4.0 + Update on Mom

Being all beautiful and brilliant and everything.

We give out a super duper, totally pawsitively and magnificently splendiderous author award every once in awhile. Comes with extra pawsome sauce. It’s called The Kimber Award. Because, hey. It’s me.

We’ll get to that in just a min. So kindly keep your hair on, Toots. First an update on The Ole Curmudgeon.

Mom was in the hospital place recently. She hates hospitals. So do I. They won’t allow me inside. Silly hospitals.

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