Someone you know has a loved one in ICU/CCU. You care. Want to help. But you’re not sure how. Here are 15+ ways you can help a patient in ICU/CCU. Based on recent experience a la Her Royal Momness and Super Dad:

1. PRAY.
2. VISIT IF YOU CAN. Patients often feel comforted by hearing a familiar voice and sensing your physical presence. Be sure to check with the hospital in advance regarding visiting hours and policies.
3. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE DO NOT ASK for directions to the hospital. ICU patients may not even know where they are, let alone how to get you there. Get the name and address of the hospital from someone else. Figure out how to get there on your own.
4. COMMUNICATE with Nurses: Check in with them to understand how long to stay, what stimulation the patient can handle, and if they need anything.
5. AVOID PLATITUDES: “Everything happens for a reason,” “Stay strong,” etc. Phrases like this can come across as dismissive or trite. Better: “You’re in our daily thoughts and prayers” or “We’re here for you.”
6. HELP WITH PERSONAL CARE: Ask the nurse if you can comb the patient’s hair, put a cool cloth on their forehead, etc.
7. REMIND AND REORIENT. The patient may feel confused and disoriented. Tell them the day, time, and what’s happening. Let them know how their favorite sports team is doing or what the weather is like. Keep your voice gentle and low.
8. FOLLOW HYGIENE RULES. Wash your hands/use hand sanitizer before entering and leaving their room. Every. Time. Gown and glove up as directed. Avoid touching equipment.
9. AVOID inanities like “Get well soon” or “best wishes for a speedy recovery.” There’s no such thing as a “speedy recovery” vis-a-vis ICU. Better: “We’re pulling for you!” or “Hope you feel better and get stronger every day.”
10. DO NOT SEND FLOWERS. Most hospitals won’t allow flowers in the ICU due to infection risks (pollen, mold, bacteria). Save the bouquets for later. Consider simple gifts instead: puzzles, books, soft blankets (check hospital policy), or non-food items that aren’t strong-smelling. Always call the hospital first.
11. HOLDING the patient’s hand or providing a gentle touch can be very reassuring. Check with the nurses first.
12. If the patient is SEDATED, TALK TO THEM anyway. Per ICU nurses, the patient can hear when under sedation. They just can’t respond. A calm, familiar voice can be immensely comforting and reassuring. Super Dad can recall hearing snippets of conversation while sedated. Also bits and pieces from the books I brought to read aloud (“Inkheart” by Cornelia Funke. In case you’re wondering. And “Henry V.” Nobody’s perfect).
13. SUPPORT the Patient by supporting their Family: Food, coffee, small gift or gas cards can be very helpful.
14. Speaking of which, GIFT CARDS for the hospital cafeteria are terrif! On-site cafeterias are hugely convenient, enabling the patient’s fam to grab a snack or meal without leaving the hospital campus. The food is usually very good. It’s also very expensive. (A piping hot bowl of tomato basil soup wasn’t exactly what Mom had planned for Christmas Day. But it hit the spot nonetheless.)
15. OFFER to do chores for the patient’s household (collect mail, groceries, lawn, etc.).
16. PLEASE REFRAIN from discussing or referencing future plans, activities or events until/unless the patient indicates an interest in same. Events or plans that are weeks or months down the road are unfathomable and may feel overwhelming to someone who’s critically ill. Remember: One. Day. At. A. Time.

ALSO:
Remember to thank the NURSING STAFF. These highly skilled professionals are amazing‼️💯 Yea, nurses! 👏👏👏

WHEN SOMEONE says, “Let me know if you need anything,” ask, “What can you do?”

FINALLY, one of the best “gifts” you can give an ICU patient is time. Don’t be in a hurry. Don’t expect them to “bounce back” or return to “normal” schedules or activities any time soon. They’ve just been thru the wringer. ICU is a traumatic experience. Physically. Mentally. Emotionally. Getting back to “normal” can take weeks or months. Or more. So don’t rush them. Give them the time and space they need to recover. Heal. Decompress. In every respect. On their timetable. Not yours.

Capiche?

For companion commentary, see prior post: 12+ ICU Dos and Dont’s.

Nothing in this post should be construed as medical advice. Always consult your doctor.

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