Five, Ten, or Never

Leaving home and careers for a life of spontaneous and unusual travel

By Judy Kashoff (Indie author, 2023)

Genre: Non-Fiction: Travel/Memoir

Pages; 263

Via: Author request

Note: We received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

Her Momness: Kimber, what are you doing?

Kimber: Don’t interrupt now, Mom! I’m practicing my pedaling.

Her Momness: You’re what?

Kimber: You know, pedaling. Like that book we just read. About those two hoomans who travel all over creation on their buy-shekels. (No idea what that means. Sounds expensive.) You can fill peeps in while I keep pedalling…

All Heart

Part travelogue, part memoir, and part DIY, Five, Ten, or Never is all heart. (The title is explained later. So kindly keep your hair on, okay?)

It’s a witty and winsome compilation of stories chronicling some of Dave and Judy Kashoff’s adventures while horseback riding and bicycling around Europe. It features tons of photos and generous doses of levity as readers join the Kashoff’s and take a plunge out of the ordinary and into an unplanned life on the road. So grab the nearest handlebars and get ready for a delightful dive into the sights, sounds, smells, tastes and textures of off-the-beaten path European locales as you join two intrepid cycling tourists across Europe.

These include the people, cultures, customs, meals and menus, fragrances, conversations and kindnesses of a wide variety of European cities and countries. Like Croatia. Venice. Sienna. Tuscany. Holland. Greece. Denmark. Norway. Thailand. Ephesus. The “Hungarian Sea.” Budapest.

Kimmi: I can smell the kabobs from here! What?

Also:

• A thermal lake.
• A potato festival.
• “Tram police.”
• Tufa rocks.
• Saint Nicholas.
• Fuzzy red towels.
• The “Cave Cooperative.”
• Visa headaches.
• Gyros and kabobs.
• French privateering.
• The Danube River (Hark! Doth we heareth Strauss?)
• The “Donizetti maneuver.” (Kimber’s fave. She’s an expert!)

And oh yeah. Pasta is not a main dish in Italy. It’s served before the main dish. And Sunday lunch is a “big deal” in Italy. So be sure to bring your appetite!

Kimmi: I can smell the pasta from… (Insert Mom eye roll here.)

Bonus points: Scannable QR codes are included for more photos at the end of most chapters.

Sturdy

Sturdy writing and vivid descriptions make locales, settings, scenes, and contexts “stand up and walk.” Lyrical prose and vibrant word pictures make you feel like you’re there with Dave and Judy, live and in person. The Kashoffs also detail how they incorporate volunteer work into their travels. Kimmi: You’re probably not going to find this in your average Lonely Planet-ish travelogue thingy, so I’d listen up ‘fize you, Cupcake. (“Ransom Riggs”! Yeah, we noticed. Woo hoo!)

Captions & Chapters

A few things need work: Captions and transitions between chapters. Photo captions? They’re MIA way too often. It’s like, “Nice pic. What’s going on here?” While the pictures are great, the lack of captions is annoying.

Speaking of which, we found the chapters somewhat confusing at times. For example, one chapter ends with the couple near Tuscany. The next chapter opens with something about Dave and chickens and some dude named Walter. Huh? Also, the transitions between chapters need work. Like, there often aren’t any. One chapter skids to a sudden stop. Drops you on your head. Then you’re chucked into the next chapter without much chance to catch your breath. It’s like getting tossed into a blender.

Also, the author has an annoying habit of diving into the next chapter often bereft of any broader context as to who, what, when, where, why, or how they got there. The dots aren’t connected until later. This technique may be intended as a “grabber” to get your attention. These sagas would work better tucked into later pages, after the setting and context have been established. (Something as simple as When cycling through ___ in the spring, we happened upon a ____ would come in handy.) Cuz it gave us whiplash. So you might want to bring a helmet.

Numbered chapters would also be helpful. So would some white space beneath each chapter heading. 

That being said, a coupla stand-out chapters are Sleepless on the High Seas. Big Circle. Murders, Mysteries and Mud. And the one about the Lipizzaners in Slovenia.  Yeah, baby!

Flip Side

So listen up, Buttercup (throwin’ this in for free): It takes a fair amount of energy to read this book. It’s very detailed and very thorough. So thorough, in fact, that it may overwhelm or fatigue casual readers. You might want to pack a snack. Maybe two. Flip side: If you get tired, just stop somewhere and set for a spell. You can pick up where you left off later.

Kimber: Mom, what are you doing?

Mom: I’m dusting off my buy-shekel saddle.

Kimber: Why? I’ll let you ride on my handlebars. So don’t worry, okay?

Finally, we couldn’t agree on a rating for this book. One of us Totally Loved it. The other liked it a little less for reasons noted above. So we’re rendering a split decision. Like:

4.0: Writing, Substance, and Photos

3.0: Pacing, Rhythm, and Structure